—WHAT YOU CALL WASTING, I CALL LIVING

 

 

…Last week was a very difficult one for our nation.

My week was made even more challenging when one of my son’s friends (with whom my son had had an argument on Friday) took his own life the following day.

All I could do was hold my boy while he sobbed. Rub his sweaty, quivering back as he sobbed. Tell him, "It'll be okay," as he sobbed.

I couldn’t find any of the right words. I knew I was supposed to say something to pacify him, to assuage his grief and guilt, but I fumbled. I was useless. Nothing I said was the right thing.

And so I felt lost and frightened and sick, nearly as much as the boy I was clinging to.

There’s nothing worse than watching your child suffer. Nothing worse, other than seeing them in utter misery while being unable to do anything about it.

 

…All my wanting 2020 to be over with hasn’t amounted to much. 2021 feels like 2020 redux. Like 2020’s equally evil twin. Thus far, 2021 hasn't been a whole lot better than its predecessor.

 

…It’s gray out this morning. It’s raining. And yeah, I’m a little downtrodden.  But I’m still holding onto a frail veil of hope. I’m hoping these next nine days stay peaceful. I’m hoping the light shows up sooner than later. I’m hoping that wherever you are, you’re safe and surrounded by love.

 

…Here are a few things I like to start the week:

 

--“That the world was strange and lost was not in argument.” Sebastian Barry, “A Thousand Moons”

 

--“There is a tipping point to all things where change becomes unstoppable.”

 

--"The ability to concentrate and to use time well is everything." Lee Iococca 

 

--"A spectacular failure was better than safety. Sabine wanted individuals to honor their greatest ambitions. All superior things—all things worth knowing, possessing, creating, and admiring, she’d observed—had begun with vast, impractical wishes. She hated smallness of character." Min Jin Lee, “Pachinko”

 

--“Memory doesn’t like anything but itself.” Sebastian Barry

 

--"You show up on time. When you say you're going to do something, you try to do your best at it. You don't backstab people. You don't bitch and complain about what you're doing. Being compassionate is big. And it's always important to act like a gentleman." Scott Eastwood on the code taught by his father Clint Eastwood

 

--“I don’t know how to explain it, but you can feel it—momentum. It’s a crazy thing, and even if you can’t see it, it’s there and it’s powerful” Chris Collinsworth