—LONELINESS IS NO ONE'S FRIEND

 

David 

 

Maybe the body 

is the problem 

its stupid yearning 

and neediness

its soft bones 

always breaking 

their promises 

But you saw me 

naked that day 

on the hotel sofa 

enflamed with sunshine

and you called me David

your sculpted 

as if you were actually 

being honest for once.

 

—SPENT ALL DAY JUST TRYING TO BE SOBER

 

…Hey, Friday, you handsome sonofabitch, how’re you doing?

 

…Tell my dealer I miss him.

 

…“It is a terrible thing to be so open; It is as if my heart put on a face and walked into the world.” Sylvia Plath

 

…You don’t have to pull everything apart to understand what’s inside.

 

…I think it means a lot more to you than it does to me, and I’m all right with that.

 

…You can only heat up that cup of coffee so many times before it tastes like someone’s unclean chimney or sphincter.

 

…You know it’s okay not to be okay, right?

 

…I erase most of what I write, and probably will again.

 

…But if I couldn’t write, I’d have been dead a long time ago.

 

…Is it too much to ask, to never see your face?

 

I am so tired of waiting,

Aren’t you,

For the world to become good

And beautiful and kind?

Let us take a knife

And cut the world in two—

And see what worms are eating

At the rind.

            --Langston Hughes

 

…The quality of this video sucks, but the message sure doesn’t…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdEbPkD2KYc

 

…I think Willie Geist may have made it a three-way tie with Ryan Reynolds and George Clooney as The Celebrity I’d Most Like to Have a Drink With.

 

…“I write songs and make music and sing, and when I do that, the impending sense of doom I feel in our culture today goes away.” Jeff Tweedy

 

…You’re only racing against yourself.

 

…I was going to feel sorry for myself for a minute, but then I remembered I’m still alive.

 

…You can care about something or someone all you want, but if you don’t say or do something, what’s it matter?

 

…It’s going to take a minor miracle for the power to stay on this weekend. I like a good storm, but the outage part, not so much. 

 

…“It occurred to me that that’s kind of where you want to live, in that space where twilight is just about to meet dawn. Right between darkness and light is where beauty lives. Those are all colors you want to be a part of, and associated with.”  Jeff Tweedy

 

…I’m going under and this time I fear there’s no one to save me.

 

…“There are certain emotions in your body that not even your best friend can sympathize with, but you will find the right film or the right book, and it will understand you.” Bjork

 

…Well, Wednesday, my favorite day of the week, was one grumpy-ass day.   

 

…Don’t wanna go back through that shit in between.

 

…Whoa, now there’s a memory you want to keep suppressed.

 

…It’s good to see you again, the very same mouth on the very same head.

 

…Sometimes, who says it, is what matters most.

 

…If you can just make shit up, why should anyone listen to you?

 

…It surprises even me how many in a week I say to no one, “Fuck this guy.” 

 

…“Wisdom is learning what to overlook.” Task

 

…We’re a million miles away from good ideas.

 

…Sometimes when you’re too close to something, you can’t see what other people see.

 

…“Maybe it’s not about a happy ending. Maybe it’s about the story.” Albert Camus

 

…I’m not sure I like the way this feels.

 

…You good? What happened?

 

…Does it count if you don’t say it out loud?

 

Yes, in my life, since we must call it so,

there were three things, 

the inability to speak,

the inability to be silent, 

and solitude, 

that’s what I’ve had to make the best of. 

     ---Samuel Beckett

 

…“A ghost once told me that the best place to hide is in the depths of a hopeful mind.” Kristin Kory

 

…I wonder what it means that a sporting event can bring you to your knees.

 

…“I’m more aware that poetry works just like food. As long as I am making space for others at my table, I always have more than enough. I just never run out.” Alissa Cherry

 

…Sometimes my office just won’t shut the fuck up.

 

…It’s a weak way to go about things, but one way to survive is to just not care.

 

…You have the time you have. That’s it.

 

…So many of my writer friends attended the NO KINGS rallies this weekend. I did not. I loved the photos everyone posted, and the banners and posters. My two favorite signs were:

--RADICALIZED BY BASIC DECENCY  

--WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FASCISM 

 

…“Yesterday doesn’t count. It is what you do today that counts. No amount of talking about yesterday is going to change it.” Nico 

 

…Okay, okay, I think we’re done here, I think?

 

…Wait, what? There’s more?

 

…I hope so. But you never know.

 

—THE CEILING I’M STANDING UNDER AIN’T MINE

 

Skeletons

We danced when there was no wind or hope left, swaying like cedars plucked of all their seedlings, needles covering the forest floor like a hidden trap door.

We danced in stilted time, the clock a bone stuck in the throat, each wall weeping to themselves in the room with Princess Jasmine pillows plopped perfectly on your bed.

We danced because that’s how you lived your brief five years, a human slinky, a girl always giggling like some happy fish saying, “Come on, Daddy, don’t stop. Keep dancing.”

We danced until we ran out of skeletons, when Halloween came and each little monster looked exactly like you, even if they were wearing a mask, holding out a bag instead of a hand.

 

—BABY TURN IT UP, BABY TURN IT UP

Cake

 

I’m staring at it 

the cake I made 

for your birthday 

that year we had 

too many friends  

in our cramped walkup 

so we snuck away and 

had frantic animal 

three-minute sex in 

the bathroom 

every single tile shaking  

but that cake’s 

still here on the 

counter by your 

Starbucks cup

the frosting has hardly 

melted at all

 

--CAN YOU TAKE, TAKE IT ALL OFF MY HANDS?

 

 

…Today’s the day. Hop in if you can. There’s always room for more:

https://bendinggenres.com/register/brave-ink/

 

...I need to figure out a way to stop beating myself up, or it’s going to be a long rest of my life.

 

…“Don’t be scared of yourself.” Ocean Vuong

 

…But I might be, especially these days.

 

…“What if a piece of wood discovers it’s a violin?” Rimbaud

 

…When you say, “I get it,” what do you mean? Because I don’t get it. 

 

…Some days I really hope there are no angels.

 

…I wouldn’t say I’m a coward, but I wouldn’t call myself brave, either.

 

…My writing partner, for the last five times we’ve exchanged, has said, “I’m not sure what you’re trying to say here,” which is accurate.

 

…No, I’m good. Thanks for asking.

 

…Here’s a grand idea. Why don’t I torture myself some more and listen to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3hLiRSIKFo&list=RD_3hLiRSIKFo&start_radio=1

 

…You kiss me slow, like you don’t have any doubts.

 

https://poets.org/poem/bearing-edge?fbclid=IwY2xjawNeVw5leHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFqeTBnRGt6OERtZ05vamF1AR7TY7GLPGkAbYqSP_Mj1XIK6thybwjuYYtg5Fn4s0A_iNWGkycZjN4ezMkGcQ_aem_oq8clziDDWZOf_gI4gu9sQ

 

…Hey, there Mr. Blue. We’re so pleased to be with you.

 

…It’s been a while since I had a mini-concert in my office which is a pretty good idea when you have no other ideas in your head.

 

…How is “Livin’ on Prayer” considered one of the happiest songs ever? Shake yourself.

 

…When your 18-year-old nephew is dispensing wisdom like the Dali Lama to you, better than you could to him, that's when you need to take a peek, Patterson.  

 

…“Oh boy.” It seems like I say, Oh boy way than I should.

 

…Fuck that. It’s sunny and there are ducks on the lake today.

 

…It’s probably not a big thing for you, but to actually be able to smell a bar of soap on your skin, that’s a big thing for me.

 

…You got your problems, Dear, and I’ve got mine, something beautiful and scary at the same time.

 

…Cause why end it there?

 

…I had to restart my computer and somehow I lost 50 pages of blog diaries while old notes are showing up, so some of this might sound familiar. Sorry.

 

…Guilt is a really horrible emotion. Maybe even worse than anxiety.

 

…You’re looking good, just like a snake in the grass. One of these days, you’re gonna break your glass.

 

…I understand now why that airport hamburger tasted so bad to Anthony Bourdain.

 

…It’s Friday for somebody, somewhere. Fridays always seem to cheer people up. Yay. 

 

…It doesn’t matter what you think if you don’t show up.

 

…“Who the fuck has time for gestures?” The Bear

 

…All I’ve got to do is make it through the weekend. All I’ve got to do is make it through the weekend. All I’ve got to do is make it through the weekend…

 

…Maybe esoteric is just another word for a nap. How about that?

 

…I’m a writer, but then no one’s perfect.

 

…If you really want to punish someone, just don’t reply. That will do the trick, sure enough.  

 

…I’ll call you back later. I promise. Pinky Swear.

 

—WHAT I’VE LEARNED, Jose Andres

 

--My favorite Spanish saying? “No le pidas peras al olmo.” Don’t ask for pears from the elm tree.

 

--You can be afraid and fearless at the same time.

 

--Sometimes you have to be a little bit gloomy so people can take things seriously.

 

--Luck is luck. It happens sometimes even when you don’t wish it. But everything else in life needs to be more than luck. It needs to be effort. It needs to be hard work. It needs to be repetition and error.

 

--In high school what I learned was: Don’t be afraid to ask I think 

I’ve never been afraid to ask.

 

--Poorer people are the most giving. I’ve seen it many times, in an emergency, and if they can share the half of loaf of bread with somebody because they have nothing, they are going to do it.

 

--I always share my dreams with people. It’s a way to show my intentions. I think I do it to put pressure on me, like, “I’m going to do this.” And it’s having everybody as the support team checking on you that will do this.

 

--If it was up to me, I would make the world the classroom for children, and it would make the world better and smaller. I know it’s almost impossible, but we can do something in between.

 

--My father would invite everybody for a Sunday paella once a month and not keep track of who he invited, so it was very random who would show up. And my mother was always like, “What happens if more people show up?” And my dad would say, “Well, we’ll add more rice to the pan.” It’s always the way. It’s always the way.