—IT’S TIME YOU LET SOMEONE ELSE DO SOME GIVING

 

 

…Not everything means something.

 

…See? I wasn’t kidding.

...You're still my first thing.

 

…Happy or content, mix the salad bowl nevertheless.

 

…Sometimes I just don’t know where to go.

 

…Point me, in the direction of Albuquerque.

 

…I was offered a stimulant, and refused it, at age 18, while driving from Pullman, WA to Denver without stopping. That’s a mistake I’ll never make again.

 

…It’s funny how some things return to circulation. Like my son just got a new record player and a Polaroid camera which he adores. 

 

… The Bottle

 

A child stands motionless.

He holds a bottle in his hands.

There’s a ship in the bottle. 

He stares at it with eyes

that do not blink.

He wonders where a tiny ship

can sail to if it’s held

prisoner in a bottle. 

Fifty years from now you will

find out, Captain Martin,

for the sea (large as it is)

is only another bottle.

-- Richard Brautigan

 

 

…Each day is a time to think about what you’re doing with the rest of your life.

 

…It’s too late, to turn back now.

 

…It’s the splinters that hurt the most, those tiny little slices that never go away, and that you can’t pluck out with a Tweezer no matter how hard you try.

 

…When the kids come home and don’t stop by my office, I know something is up, one way or another.

 

…I’m right here.

 

…Busting the tropes—now there’s a great idea.

 

…Who knew that napping was one of the greatest past times ever?

 

…My computer is a stubborn thing. Yesterday she shut down on me for no conceivable reason and almost wouldn’t open again. I think I’m pretty nice to her, so I don’t get that.

 

…I hope the world ends up better than I think it will.

 

…It’s a long way, to where I’m going…

 

…I had my favorite meal yesterday, by myself, prosciutto and mozzarella with olive oil and chunky pepper. I don’t think I tasted a bit of it, but it looked good.

 

…Anymore, me driving at night is like a guy blowing .15 or more.

 

…One thing I know for certain is that I could be a lot more productive.

 

…This late in the game, you really need a purpose.

 

…Does it mean something when every Friend Request you get is a naked, or almost naked pic, from some Russian woman?

  

…Does it really matter how many friends or followers you have on social media? Aren’t there bigger issues?

 

…If we don’t fund Ukraine, they’re toast. You can fight Goliath but you gotta have weaponry. Putin is evil. Can you imagine us just invading Canada by simply claiming they were “Nazi-lovers”? I mean, how can you just get away with something like that?

 

…Maybe I’ll sleep, or maybe I won’t. Only time will tell.

 

…One thing’s for certain: It’s not good for me to have this much time alone.

 

…If I still had Lucy, it might be different.

 

…I don’t really know why I hate Friday so much. I’m sorry, Friday.

 

…One hundred plaintiffs is 99 too many by anyone’s account.

 

…Shake yourself, Patterson.

 

…I’m a romantic, but I can’t, for the life of me, remember the first girl I kissed. Can you?

 

…I wish I had more questions, and I guess, I also wish I had more answers.

 

…Hearing your kids happy—that’s like fruit salad; colorful and too loud, but perfect.

 

…The thing about wishing, or praying, is there’s no agency. It’s like expecting The Red Cross to drop a box of chocolates in your lap when you haven’t done a single thing.

 

…Anymore, it’s awfully expensive just to live.

 

…I don’t ever want to be someone that is loathed. I’d rather burn in Hell.

 

…You’ve got to know yourself a lot better if you’re going to survive in the world.

 

…I wish I knew myself better.

 

…It’s not a laughing matter, although laughing is hugely important in the scheme of things.

 

…I tend to get maudlin a lot and I’m not exactly sure why that is.

 

…Off probation. Yay.

 

…I’m aware I’m a big basket to have to hold onto.

 

…I think tomorrow’s going to be a good day. Why wouldn’t it be?

 

…You might just make it after all.

 

—WHEN THE LINE’S BEEN SIGNED, YOU’RE SOMEONE ELSE

 

Scouts

 

A couple of uniformed girl scouts, nine or ten, are outside your door with bags of peppermint cookies, knocking relentlessly, like Father Time himself.

Neither one resembles your daughter, though it’s nevertheless heart-crushing because they are about the age your daughter was when she slid in the river and kept on sliding with the current.

At last, you answer, pull the door open slowly, as if it’s the lid of a coffin.

The girls have a prepared spiel and deliver it like newscasters. If they sell the most, there are all kinds of prizes, a sunlit future.

You buy every pack of cookies they have, forty-seven of them, and when they’ve skipped off your porch, you plunge each one down the garbage disposal, run the motor and watch the mush of crumbs disappear for good.  

 —I DON’T FEEL MUCH LIKE DANCING TODAY

 

 

…It’s almost been a month, and everything feels dislocated, discombobulated.

 

…Yesterday was a pretty shaky day, even by my standards. At one point, I thought the road was reaching up to kiss me.

 

…Here comes another Atmospheric River…

 

…It’s probably pretty strange to have a crush on a dead person, but what’re you gonna do?

 

…I don’t wanna say, “Goodbye.”

 

…I might just put all of those forlorn Friday pieces in a bottle and float them off to a wherever sea.

 

…“I’d walk a mile for a Camel.” It’s so strange what you remember.

 

…If you didn’t know better, you’d think I’m in deep trouble.

 

…I’ve still got, “No Bad Days” stuck in my head, after all these weeks. That’s at least something to smile about.

 

…When we were young kids, my brothers and I were more or less forced to get these buzz cuts that were, for some reason, called “High Knees.” It was basically like you’d joined the military, shorn almost bald, while longer hair was in style then. I remember at lunch, listening to a girl ridicule my brother’s haircut, then looking over at me and blushing crimson when she realized who I was.

 

…Life’s pretty good, if you don’t think about it too much.

 

…There’s really nothing worse than seeing your kid in misery. Like, nothing.

 

…Sometimes it’s very hard to find the right words when you need them the most.

 

…If I could do it all over again, I might not.

 

…I’m not sure why I feel so safe here. If you really knew me, you’d be stunned.

 

…When they landed on the moon, I was nine and really wanted to see it happen live, on TV, but my mom wasn’t having it. She said, “If God wanted man to land on the moon, he would have moved it closer.” True story. My mom. One of a kind.

 

…When I was nine, I learned a lot. Too much, actually.

 

…I hate losing. Is it okay to admit that?

 

…My seat-mate in the airplane didn’t want to talk at all, which was fine by me. But when I thought we were going to crash, I almost woke her up so we could pray together.

 

…So much to bitch about, so much to cherish. Take your pick. And take your time.

 

…The only people who really want to hear your sad songs are the ones that actually love and care about you.

 

…“Running With Scissors” is still my favorite book title of all time. 

 

…If I could have a do-over and be young again, the thing I think I’d do is talk more.

 

…It felt really good to write yesterday, even if no one will know what it means. Thank God for, Francine Witte.

 

…I’m not that great at many things, but I’m a good listener when you need one.

 

…God is awfully complicated. You’d think He’d make it easier on us to understand Him. I mean, like, why not? That sort of mind-fucking can make a person suspicious and crazy.

 

…You don’t get to pick your parents, but you can pick your way out of the fire if you hold your breath long enough, and keep low.

 

…I wonder if the ducks are out on the lake, after dark right now while I’m writing this, when I can’t see a thing but the faint flicker of lights across the lake.

 

…If your kids are happy, healthy and safe, you’re happy. That’s about it.

 

…I’ve run out of tricks.

 

…Only a clown would say that.

 

…When I was in sixth grade, for a couple of months, the bus after school would take you to the roller-skating ring. It was pretty uncomfortable, at least for me. They’d have “Single’s Skate” then “Couple’s Skate” near the end of the night, which was terrifying, because you had to ask the girl, first off, and if she said, “Yes,” then you had to hold her hand around the ring for the entirety of a whole song, praying your palms didn’t sweat too much to give you away. I was probably never more awkward than then.

 

…There are a lot of good doctors out there, but as far as I can tell, most can't seem to fix a thing. 

 

…Hey, Friday, I wasn’t so sure I’d make it this far. Take my hand and walk me out of this gloom, please.

 

…You took the words right out of my mouth. It must have been while you were kissing me. (Clap! Clap!)

 —I’VE JUST GOTTA GET A MESSAGE TO YOU 

 

 

…I’m not only cycling, I’m actively recycling.

 

…That guy at the airport with two toddlers straddling his ankles had to be thinking, “Look at my fucking luck!” Anyway, that’s what I’d be thinking if I were him.

 

…That woman at the airport looked like she was carrying the entire world on her shoulders, yet she only had her handbag with her.

 

…This hair—it’s not getting any thicker.

 

…Toddlers this weekend. Yay.

 

…I’ve wished you a million things.

 

…Seems like we’re running out of goodbyes.

 

…There’s no way they can all be that sweet.

 

…The clouds I’m looking at now, all blue-black, could be the most menacing-looking things ever. 

 

…Or maybe they’re just smoke signals with kind greetings wrapped up in terror.

 

…It’s a wonder, or else a clusterfuck, being stuck in an airport with a thousand grouchy F&%@s who’ve all missed their connections, the same as you.

 

…That might be the wrong pocket.

 

…Maybe you’ll get a replacement. There’s plenty like me to be found. 

 

…Day after day, if you get them.

 

…You hear the word, “Dad” and it changes everything instantly. Papa is pretty great, too.

 

…Turns out that going to a live golf tournament just means acres of endless walking, but hey, it’s still something.

 

…Ghosting is only ghosting when there are no pre-described conditions.

 

…After yesterday, my worst fears may be coming true.

 

…Re-entry can be a real bitch, but at least I have hot water.

 

…Next is better than nowhere.

 

…All those holes? How do you possibly fill them?

 

…It’s weird to be this lucky and not feel like you are. But I’m still grateful.

 

…Even the ducks look lost right now.

 

…Turbulence is no one’s friend.

 

…Blaming it all, on the nights on Broadway.

 

…I don’t like to think this way, but if T wins again, the whole world is doomed.

 

…I’m trying to be less reactive, but that really only works when you don’t care.

 

…If you can’t abide the rain, this is tough place to be.

 

…It’s kind of funny, people throwing shade. I’m just doing me, I don’t got no bad days.

 

…This is a stupid confession, but when I was ten I decided I wanted to be president and taped up all of these signs in the house that said, “LEN FOR PRESIDENT!!” and somehow my parents left them up for a few days.

 

...It’s almost too late to figure things out.

 

…It’s odd, the things you remember so clearly, and those you don’t at all.

 

…If you tell it to a friend who doesn’t judge, it usually feels better afterward.

 

…Did I mention re-entry is a bitch?

 

…I’ll stop bitching now. 

 

….“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live it properly.” Marcus Aurelius

 

…I usually know what I mean, but sometimes it’s hard to express it accurately.

 

…Shouldn’t the longest days be the best ones, and not the other way around?

 

…Was I a good son? I don’t know. I’ll probably never know.

 

…It’s good to have a best friend. Without one, where would that leave you?

 

…Where did all the happy people go?

 

…It’s not that easy to say nice things to yourself.

 

…Back to the horny-backed toads.

 

…You’ve got a friend in me.

 

…I’m right here.

—LOVE IS ALL AROUND

https://www.mcneese.edu/thereview/2024/01/12/true-love/

--IT’S A LONG WAY THERE

 

 

F   r   i   d   a   y,     #   6

 

 

The moon won’t stop staring. Like a serial killer with a bound and gagged victim. The air has never looked so much like an oil spill. Never tasted so fraudulent. Each wall hisses like a pissed off snake. There’s danger in ennui, homicide behind the door. At some point I’ll figure out why this day hates me, but for now, I’ll toss a coin in the well and wish for a different truth.

 —AND BUTTERFLIES ARE FREE TO FLY

 

  

…Walking on this driveway today would be like taking your whole life into your hands.

 

…Some days you need to see/hear this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2h82Wevk11s

 

…It’s not that hard to read 21 books in 15 days when all you do is read and sleep very little.

 

…“There’s something in my head, but it’s not me.” Pink Floyd

 

…“If” is a lonely place.

 

…No bad days…

 

…One of the things I’m most proud of is turning into a napper.

 

…If you look around, it seems like people are just looking for someone to blame.

 

…“I’ve decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” MLK 

 

…Even nothing is something.

 

…I need a better rescue plan.

 

…For what it’s worth, I remember everything.

 

…I’m so Warhol…

 

…It’s pretty hard to look at social media anymore. Everyone else’s life is so bright and motivating.

...Pete doesn't seem to mind this drudgery at all. He just keeps flying.

 

…I just keep on losing you.

 

…It sounds stupid, but it takes a lot of courage for me to play Mac.

 

…Gone too soon, is a thing.

 

…You think your day’s going fine until your pipes burst and you have to hold your thumb down hard, for hours, to stop the spray. 

 

…Never superficial, you’re going to know it when it hits you.

 

…First World problems are still problems, just not as bad as others.

 

…You gotta jump in to swim.

 

…Some things are really hard to explain and articulate, so your best move is to sound stupid. 

 

…Yesterday I was like a guy fighting bees.

 

…Time gets away from us.

 

…Some memories are painful, but at least you got to have them.

 

…Save it for a rainy day is right.

 

…I feel pretty crappy sometimes.

 

…Sometimes it’s best to go for a walk, even if it feels like you’re skating on ice.

 

…Less than 4 ='s the number of phone calls I get in a week.

 

…When I was a young boy, I used to fight the wind. Seriously.

 

…My watch doesn’t like me anymore.

 

…Get a little sentimental when I’m off the juice.

 

…Nine times out of ten I get it wrong.

 

…Getting up that slope is going to be awfully tricky.

 

…Finding beauty in imperfection is the work of poets, and is easier said than done.

 

…The world is so small, ‘til it ain’t.

 

…Sometimes more is less, and sometimes less is less.

 

…I’m running out of things to say.

 

…One day more.

 

—IT’S ALWAYS HALF AND HALF

  

 

…This is the absolute definition of badass:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zWGlOEysK0

 

…“Cold” doesn’t even come close.

 

…72 emails and not one of them meant anything.

 

…“Boredom can be a really good thing for someone in a creative jam.” Stephen King

 

…Pretty sure someone was depressed last week.

 

…All those days you want back, man, you’re not getting them.

 

…Who doesn’t love Mary Tyler Moore?

 

…It’s hypnotic, looking into a fire, no matter how long you do it.

...It's a really good sign when you brush your tongue and don't throw up.

 

…These have been some lonely-ass days of late.

 

…Sometimes a new haircut actually helps a little.

 

…There’s nothing worse than worrying about your kids. Like nothing.

 

…I’ve got to do a better job of getting my head out of the past.

 

…Sports are pretty dumb, if you think about it. But then so are most sitcoms.

 

…“The truth is that most writers are needy.” Stephen King

 

…You can’t just show up because it feels good in the moment and not be there the rest of the time.

 

…I’m giving free bad advice today. Ask me anything. Go ahead.

 

…It gets pretty dark without you.

 

…It seemed real, if only in my dreams.

 

…The lake wants to freeze so bad that it’s not even letting the wind in.

 

…If you have the right tool, the rest is easy, or so they say.

 

…It’s pretty amazing how Bay can just pick up the guitar, and though he hasn’t played in months, he just creates a song out of nowhere.

 

…If I’m being honest, I’m not real optimistic about the future.

 

…I think I’m going to re-set New Year’s to start on February 1^st.

 

…Four days until I see my best friend, and then everything should be good again.

 

…Not to sound like an embittered, jealous writer, but I don’t understand how some books get published.

 

…How the power didn’t go out this weekend is anyone’s guess, but Pete and his new friend didn’t seem to mind the weather much. They eloped two trees over.

 

…What, really does, “Hold on loosely, and don’t let go” actually mean?

 

…Some days are just like this, but you always have a choice.

 

…Being able to make my friends laugh, or anyone really, is probably my favorite thing.

 

…An old friend once asked me, “Why does something have to mean anything?” and that gave me pause.

He was the same person who told me I could write a lot darker than I do.

 

…Those eight marathons I once ran now seem like something I saw during a mushroom outing.

 

…I got a bit lost while struggling to survive.

 

…I might be overthinking things again.

 

…If you’re going to write gibberish, at least try to make it interesting. 

 

…Doesn’t matter who says they love you, or even how many times, it’s all about if they show up when you need them.

 

…A friend recently asked me, “Do you feel like a lucky man?” Guess my answer.

 

…Bygones are bygones, but they’re still hard.

 

…I’m here, holding my breath, same as you.

 

…Loneliness will likely never be on the endangered species list.

 

…When I had an actual diary as a kid, all I did, was write about the weather. Now it’s more like life and death.

 

…I’m fairly certain that someone’s going to read all this and disagree.

 

…College sports, especially football, are such a hoax. No one cares about the team when there’s a bigger paycheck to be had.

 

…I remember looking in the mirror, too.

 

…I never thought I’d say this, but thank God it’s Monday.