—I DON’T FEEL MUCH LIKE DANCING TODAY

 

 

…It’s almost been a month, and everything feels dislocated, discombobulated.

 

…Yesterday was a pretty shaky day, even by my standards. At one point, I thought the road was reaching up to kiss me.

 

…Here comes another Atmospheric River…

 

…It’s probably pretty strange to have a crush on a dead person, but what’re you gonna do?

 

…I don’t wanna say, “Goodbye.”

 

…I might just put all of those forlorn Friday pieces in a bottle and float them off to a wherever sea.

 

…“I’d walk a mile for a Camel.” It’s so strange what you remember.

 

…If you didn’t know better, you’d think I’m in deep trouble.

 

…I’ve still got, “No Bad Days” stuck in my head, after all these weeks. That’s at least something to smile about.

 

…When we were young kids, my brothers and I were more or less forced to get these buzz cuts that were, for some reason, called “High Knees.” It was basically like you’d joined the military, shorn almost bald, while longer hair was in style then. I remember at lunch, listening to a girl ridicule my brother’s haircut, then looking over at me and blushing crimson when she realized who I was.

 

…Life’s pretty good, if you don’t think about it too much.

 

…There’s really nothing worse than seeing your kid in misery. Like, nothing.

 

…Sometimes it’s very hard to find the right words when you need them the most.

 

…If I could do it all over again, I might not.

 

…I’m not sure why I feel so safe here. If you really knew me, you’d be stunned.

 

…When they landed on the moon, I was nine and really wanted to see it happen live, on TV, but my mom wasn’t having it. She said, “If God wanted man to land on the moon, he would have moved it closer.” True story. My mom. One of a kind.

 

…When I was nine, I learned a lot. Too much, actually.

 

…I hate losing. Is it okay to admit that?

 

…My seat-mate in the airplane didn’t want to talk at all, which was fine by me. But when I thought we were going to crash, I almost woke her up so we could pray together.

 

…So much to bitch about, so much to cherish. Take your pick. And take your time.

 

…The only people who really want to hear your sad songs are the ones that actually love and care about you.

 

…“Running With Scissors” is still my favorite book title of all time. 

 

…If I could have a do-over and be young again, the thing I think I’d do is talk more.

 

…It felt really good to write yesterday, even if no one will know what it means. Thank God for, Francine Witte.

 

…I’m not that great at many things, but I’m a good listener when you need one.

 

…God is awfully complicated. You’d think He’d make it easier on us to understand Him. I mean, like, why not? That sort of mind-fucking can make a person suspicious and crazy.

 

…You don’t get to pick your parents, but you can pick your way out of the fire if you hold your breath long enough, and keep low.

 

…I wonder if the ducks are out on the lake, after dark right now while I’m writing this, when I can’t see a thing but the faint flicker of lights across the lake.

 

…If your kids are happy, healthy and safe, you’re happy. That’s about it.

 

…I’ve run out of tricks.

 

…Only a clown would say that.

 

…When I was in sixth grade, for a couple of months, the bus after school would take you to the roller-skating ring. It was pretty uncomfortable, at least for me. They’d have “Single’s Skate” then “Couple’s Skate” near the end of the night, which was terrifying, because you had to ask the girl, first off, and if she said, “Yes,” then you had to hold her hand around the ring for the entirety of a whole song, praying your palms didn’t sweat too much to give you away. I was probably never more awkward than then.

 

…There are a lot of good doctors out there, but as far as I can tell, most can't seem to fix a thing. 

 

…Hey, Friday, I wasn’t so sure I’d make it this far. Take my hand and walk me out of this gloom, please.

 

…You took the words right out of my mouth. It must have been while you were kissing me. (Clap! Clap!)