—HOW DID WE GO FROM THAT TO THIS?

 

loose

 

is that blood

on my wrist

or wine

please take

your time

answering

i’m trusting

you like i trust

the shame-free

wind that heckles

me most days

this room is so

fucking fond of

fucking with me

all hoodlum walls

and fake photos

when what i

really need is

your soft / firm

hand / cheek

to hold onto

so for now i’ll

keep clinging to

these brittle edges

and hope that

i’m not your

loose end

the thing you

can’t shake

but really want to

—I’VE BEEN BUSY, PACING AND RUNNING MY MOUTH

graveyard walk

I unstrung

my bones

today

took them for

a graveyard walk

to talk to

the ghosts

I haven’t

seen since

I buried

one half

of myself

and I know

what you’d say

if you were

with me now

how I’m

the king of pain

whether it’s true

or fiction

but I plucked

some weeds anyway

and dusted off

the lonesome

headstones

to see if

their names were

still spelled right

it’s funny/not funny

what the dead

have to tell you

all the truths

they couldn’t

while alive

like how they

wish it’d been

different

and how sorry

they are that

they had you

—I’VE BEEN TRYNA FILL UP ALL THIS EMPTY

Thicket

I watched a

fawn traipse

through the lawn

this morning

agile and uncertain

yet graceful like a

dancer pointing

in her shoes

each tic of sound

causing her to test

the air the way

the hunted never

trust the trees

I let her take down

every plant and flower

because she was

such a beauty

a bit of wonder and

magic wearing fur

with those

foxglove-looking ears

that glistening wet nose

and when I

opened the window

she remained in a

state of repose

her eyes fixated

eyes like two

shimmering

brown moons

so I read her the

poem in my head

with all the inflection

and feeling I’d believed

while writing it

and after I finished

she gave me a nod

and smiled before

disappearing

into the thicket

like the fickle

ghost of joy

—YOU HAVE THE ONLY THING GOING THAT’S WORTH WAITING FOR

a.m. rainbow

in the frail morning

you show me clemency

turning to my side

with a poignant kiss

dawn pressing against

the shaded panes

you pressed against me

us tattooed together

warm as mauritius

your uneven eyes

sleepy yet alert

taking me in like a

detective that needs

more information

and just like that

i’m yours again

every old bit of me

still yearning

and churning

me sucking down air

realizing how you’ve

changed the  

echo chamber

of my heart

indigo running coral

coral to chartreuse

periwinkle fronting

our very own

a.m. rainbow

gleaming above

the headboard

when i realize

the only reason

worth moving is

to get another / better

glimpse / taste

of you / u

and soon i’m

curling a strand

of your hair

around my finger

like a ring of

joy / hope

grinning inside

so hard it hurts

handing you

that pot of gold

that everything

i have in me

—I’VE BEEN WALKING INTO WALLS ALL WEEK

  

Comet

I looked

for the comet

but only

saw clouds,

a gray cushion

pressing down

like an x-ray

vest on my chest,

mist thick as soup,

the world awash,

but you were

there as well,

the one solid light

in a seam of ash,

and so I took down

my defenses and

succumbed to the day

trusting your net

would catch me if

I ever was to fall.

—THESE ANGELS IN MY EARDRUMS CAN’T TELL BAD FROM GOOD

Bridge

I’m on

the bridge

one foot

dangling 

testing the waves

nearsighted

the rocks

protruding

below and

I can’t

think

of a reason

not to

you should

see the

look

on your

face

I’ve never

seen you

smile

so big

—I WANNA BE HOPEFUL

happy for 

    you / me

point your

camera

in the

direction of

love

over here

yeah where we

stood / laid / swayed

right now

i’m willing / pulling

back the sheets

fluffing your pillow

poem-ready

shaky hands

still for once

broken-off

peppermint

pressed between

my lips

waiting for yours

nothing underneath

nothing on top

and you’ll be

happy to know

my breath tastes

precisely like basil

mixed with some

kind of heaven

my extremities

are even warm  

everything is just

so goddamn

right tonight

maybe simmering

a bit actually

pretty steamy

actually

so let’s slow it

down okay

hit the

balcony first

catch some

starshine or

butterscotch moonshine

on our

glistening chins

i’ll lick it

off yours 

while you carve

your breath

across my skin

and as luna nods off

i’ll take your hand

hold it tight but

also tender

like precious crystal

never letting go

whispering it’s you

it’s you

it’s always been

you

—MY SCREAM GOT LOST IN A PAPER CUP

i’ve been down

didn’t think

it’d be this heavy

or gauche

ghostlike

me always

reaching for some

hair of the dog

morning

noon

night

if there’s a way up

i sure as hell

can’t find it

where’s the glint

of summer

where’s a glimmer

of hope

on the wing

of that

cabbage white

butterfly

that just flew by

goddamn it

i loved that thing

so much

the rain keeps

typing on these

plastic panes

july ready-ruddy

in my leaky

boat-throat

childhood bed

lamenting about

star-crossed

coincidences

while the

long hand

on the clock

aims

a pistol at

my chest

you can probably

guess the rest

how i’m here

on the floor

gin and tonic-eyes

falling backwards

and sideways

twilight zone-style

sucking on

the tip

of a

delicious

silver bullet

—YOU MAKE THE SUN SHINE ON ME

blood work

today while I was

looking for the thing

that isn’t there anymore

the fucking spiders returned

scrawling and trolling under my skin

testy critters re-routing my dna

looking for the other dead arachnids

flattened in between all that tacky bloodwork

so I got up off my ragged heels and

hugged the warmest patch of nearby pane

hoping for a breakthrough not noticing the

steel planks or metal-tipped slipknots hidden

in the jelly / membrane / sticky love /

and sure yeah I know about symbolism

and all the other ism’s that come with every note

but these days i wear a re-stitched tongue and faulty pores

each day pushing the same bruise over and over again

so I think I finally comprehend what you were trying to convey

and though it had to be hard for you to say good for you

and thank you it didn’t fix me but it told me to