—I HOPE YOU KNOW I’LL MISS YOU BY AUGUST

 

…“I’d rather just say too much, share too much, be too much — and hope that somewhere in the mess of it, something more honest takes shape than anything I could’ve constructed on purpose.” JP Saxe

 

…No rain, no flowers.

 

…“When you have depression, it's like it snows every day. Some days it's only a couple of inches.” Anthony Bourdain

 

…Some of the things you’re supposed to do on your own are very hard to do on your own. But then some of the things you’re supposed to do with other people are really difficult to do with other people.

 

…I guess it’s a “No” then.

 

…Van Gogh painted a lot of sunflowers. I bet he was at his happiest then, with his easel and brush, because it’s pretty hard to feel sad when you’re looking at sunflowers.

 

…I never know where I go when I’m going.

 

…“We see the world very differently” is a sentence I didn’t finish, other than in my head.

 

…That might be too heavy. Yeah, it feels really heavy.

 

…Sometimes you really do need a lecture. 

 

…I swear I’m going to get to it sooner than later.

 

…People laugh when I tell them about picking blueberries, but it’s really something else. It’s not like just scooping up pearls off a conveyor belt. These bushes make you work for it, for every single berry—some bushes are twelve feet high and the berries are never all ripe at the same time, wicked branches sticking out, ready to gouge your eye if you turn around too sharp. Go ahead and laugh again, but my forearms look like I’ve just got done having a razor blade fight with a ninja.

 

…“Sometimes it's not your perspective that's off kilter; the things around you are just crooked.” Jay Halsey

 

…It’s getting a little late in the game to change your mind about that, don’t you think?

 

…You taught me how to look over my shoulder.

 

…Today looks a lot like yesterday which usually should be okay, but I’m not so sure anymore.

 

…I wonder whose job it is to decide things like Wednesday being National Root Beer Float Day. How do you even get a job like that?  

 

…If it’s getting hard to stop, it’s probably a problem.

 

…“Self-image is delicate on a good day, fragile on a bad one. As an artist, your sense of self is tangled up with your ‘brand,’ and it becomes hard to separate how you’re actually doing from how you’re perceived to be doing.

I’m scared I’m only ever as successful as I’m perceived to be. That to feel successful, I need to look successful — to my peers, my friends back home, my family, their families.” JP Saxe

 

…It’s a pissing contest between the guy I am and the man I’m supposed to be.

  

…The way you look at things is the way they tend to be.

…“For people who reach age 55, there is a 42 percent chance they will develop dementia in their lifetime.” Dr. James L. Nederlander

 

…Some of the best lessons in life are the ones that beat you to a pulp until you can barely breathe, but then you do breathe again, and you get up and ask for more and you say, "Please?"

 

…I know I'm repeating myself, but: children and puppies—there aren’t many better things in life than those.

 

…I’ve got a crescent that says I’ll be fine.

 

…“Every writer is a frustrated actor who recites his lines in the hidden auditorium of his skull.”  Rod Serling

 

…Isn’t half the purpose of having a friend so that you can feel safe with someone, be at ease and free of anxiety?

 

…It’s truly unbelievable how some people are such haters and cowards on social media, such as this example sent to one of my writer friends:

Libs R Stupid

@LibsRDumb99

@shaindel beers

 You’re a stupid bitch and your writing is ass. Your family deserves the worst and you deserve to watch.

 

…“Maybe the only way to keep living was to willingly forget large parts of the narrative of your life and then just live with what was left.” Kevin Wilson, Run For the Hills

 

…It’s a good thing WAVE changed their name to ASTOUND because ASTOUND is astoundingly bad and reliably unreliable.

  

…Everyone always wants to believe theirs is the best, which is natural, but what if yours actually is the best?

 

…The rain fell all day Wednesday and Thursday. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. 

 

…It’s only corny if you think it is.

 

…Here’s where it always gets messy.

 

…“What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains. ― Tennessee Williams

 

…Those berries aren’t going to pick themselves.

 

…I’ll be honest—I don’t even know what I’m feeling sometimes.

 

…What if it’s all a scam? What then?

 

…“Have you ever tried playing yourself. It’s pretty hard to do.” George Clooney

 

…I think the worst thing that can happen to you—something even worse than death—is having someone actually hate you.

 

…Actually is another word I use too much.

 

… I know that I have died before— 

once in November, once in June. 

How strange to choose June again, 

so concrete with its green breasts and bellies  

New York City will not mind. 

At night the bats will beat on the trees, 

knowing it all, 

seeing what they sensed all day.”

--Anne Sexton

 

…If I just leave it there long enough, it might go away. Or maybe it won’t.

 

…There are times (usually when I’m alone) where I think to myself—why does this even matter?

 

…Just stop is something I tell myself often. In my head anyway.

 

…I didn’t know what to do, so I went picking.

 

…I sometimes say things here I might never say aloud to another person.

 

…“We keep thanking each other. I suppose that’s a good sign.” LK to JH

 

…I hate to be alone. I want to be alone. 

It’s horrible when I’m alone. I love to be alone. 

I don’t trust myself when I’m alone. I’m at my very best when I’m alone. 

I sometimes get scared when I’m alone. I sometimes feel a little bit braver when I’m alone.

I’m alone right now.

 

…YOU APPEARED IN 69 SEARCHES THIS WEEK. 

  

…If I trust and love you, I’ll be an elephant friend.

 

…The key is, you have to always remember to press Save.

 

…All of my holding back is backing up.

 

…I’ve been busy making messes while making even more messes.

 

…But what if I didn’t really mean it and it’s too late now?

 

…“Silence isn’t peace. It’s pressure building behind the dam.” Michael Cohen

 

…Another actual headline, this one from Wednesday’s NY Times:

            ICE Is Ending Age Limits For Prospective Officers

Maybe we can model ourselves after ISIS and start radicalizing our kids when they reach the age of 6. We could start a new news channel called FOX NEWS JR., make our kids wear flag pins on their flag-print shirts and blouses, teach them it’s okay to lose because you can just say you didn’t, teach them how to lie and blame the other kid, teach them how to slash the bike tires of the other kid who got a better grade, grab that girl by the merry-go-round anywhere on their body they want, teach them how to love your neighbor as you would love yourself, just as Jesus said to. 

 

…It seems darker out than usual.

 

…I’m playing for an audience of one.

 

…Pete just flew by and reminded me that he’s still here, that there’s still plenty to be glad about and grateful for.

 

…You can really find a prompt anywhere, if you look and if you’re open to it.

 

…Anyway or anyways?

 

…You’ve gotta be kidding, right?

 

…If you don’t recognize yourself here, in some form, maybe it’s best that you skip on out, and I’ll still care about you, if you do.

 

…“a woman unlike myself is running

down the long hall of a lifeless house

with too many windows which open on

a world she has no language for,

running and running until she reaches

at last the one and only door”

--Lucille Clifton

 

…Is all of this making me look like an asshole? 

 

…Does this post make my butt look too big?

 

…Anyway, I wasn’t expecting company today.