—CRACKLIN’ ROSE YOU’RE A STORE-BOUGHT WOMAN

 

 

…That’s what’s called an awfully tight squeeze.

 

…Thank God for tow trucks.

 

…I think these blueberries are trying really hard to find a way to kill me, and get away with it.

This might just be the year, even if belatedly.

 

…What I’ve learned is the best way to maintain a low profile is to keep your head under the covers until the snoring stops and everyone’s gone. Then jab earplugs deep into your cerebellum and try very hard to enjoy the Apollo-like silence. 

 

…It was a very long weekend, albeit it incredibly epic despite some minor mishaps.

 

…But aren’t they always?

 

…I’ve been wondering if I would ask, if I was in such dire straits. I’m thinking I probably never would, and so I’d just die.

 

…Sometimes you don’t physically have to be there to be there. At least that’s what I’m thinking.

 

…I’m guessing I’ve got about a year left of being here before I go underground (not like that) and just write for myself, to myself, as if that’s not what I’ve been doing all along.

 

…Sure seems like recuperation should get easier.

 

…Sometimes it’s hard to know if your decisions are good ones or not.

 

…I hope those people I keep hearing in my room are not real people.

 

…If you try, you can find symbolism in just about anything.

 

…I’m very far from it, but I wonder what it would be like to be perfect.

 

…If you can ask it, you can make it. That’s what I’m counting on anyway.

 

…A bar’s tableau with a creepy clown and a skeleton playing Tug-of-War with a child near the ceiling is not something a person should ever have to see.

 

…I heard Jeff was amazing.

 

…There are a thousand opportunities to be a great parent, answer life’s questions, solve problems, make things better, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way.

 

…One sign you’re in a bit of trouble is when your handwriting looks like it’s in Farsi.

 

…“Love is all you need.” I used to denigrate that lyric, but now I think they may have been right all along.

 

…I’m not sure how you can possibly say and Attorney General and State Prosecutor is “dumb as a rock.” I’m not sure how a candidate, who is supposedly a Christian, can tell a competing candidate that he wished “she would go to Hell.” I mean, really??

 

…What isn’t any fun whatsoever is seriously believing you’re going to die and not having a solution.

 

…I remember the first time I knew I was old. I was watching TV and every star was beautiful or handsome and they all looked immensely younger than me.

 

…I still very much wish I had a dog, but I never again want to experience the death of a pet I love.

 

…I know it sounds odd, but if you watch The Golden Girls you’ll find most of the correct answers about many of life’s conundrums.

 

…Big weekend here. I hope yours is stress-free and that you’re surrounded by joy and love. 

 

…Thank you for being a friend.