—I’M JUST WAITING ON A FRIEND

 

 

…A troupe of 27 geese just floated by, one after the other, like a castoff, dirty cord bobbing on the lake’s surface. Each one was bigger than a toddler. They’d be beautiful if they weren’t such a menace.

 

…I wrote some really bad poetry yesterday. It meant something to me but to anyone else it would sound like gibberish, or one hallucination after the next.

 

…”Impossible” is relative. It means different things to different people. The other day a good friend of mine sent me their status update saying that they were 3 years and 6 months sober. Beneath those numbers, they’d written, “Seems impossible.”

Today will be 31 days since my last sip of alcohol, and that, too, while minuscule in comparison, seems impossible.

 

…I’ve been on a bit of a documentary kick of late. First, “Wham!” then “Freedom Uncut,” the latter of which is about George Michael’s solo career. I found myself fairly mesmerized. I could relate to a lot of what he was sorting through about himself—his ego, his insecurities, his self-made obsessions, being incredibly shy yet able to become someone else on the stage. One person interviewed said, “George had this ability to tap into his dark side, leaving himself completely bare and vulnerable.” Yeah, I can relate to that as well.

“What Happened to Miss Simone"--about the fascinating and fraught life of activist, musician and singer Nina Simone--was equally powerful, but for different reasons, though when seated and playing at the piano, her alter ego often took over. Throughout the film she had so many powerful things to say, but as simple as it sounds on the surface, this is the one I saw as most profound: “You know what freedom is? No fear.”

 

…It’s been a month of float so far, or so I described it as such to my best friend the other day. None of the days have done me in. No anxiety. No depression. I’ve been in no hurry whatsoever. If there’s pressure I should be acknowledging, I don’t feel it.

 

…I don’t mind seeing people’s selfies online. I just wonder why, what’s the point?

 

…When someone says their favorite book is “Ulysses” or "As I Lie Dying," I admit that I have a hard time believing them.

 

…It may sound despicable or even evil, but I also admit I wouldn’t feel too bad if someone knocked off Putin, or that other guy as well.

 

…Napping is a gift I wish I possessed.

 

…What people say about you (negatively) shouldn’t hurt, but it does.

 

…Pete the eagle just flew by at close range with something that must have been breakfast locked tightly in his talons.

 

…I live in a rural town on a small lake. There are only two roads around the lake, one being Wonderland Road, which I live on. If you happen to pass another vehicle while on Wonderland, the other person always waves, or waves back after you. If you’re walking on Wonderland, the same thing definitely happens. Except there’s this one guy who walks his two dogs. I could literally brush shoulders with him and he’d never wave back, let alone even look at me. I figure he’s either really shy, or a total dick.

 

…Thank God for books.

 

…According to the book, “How the Word is Passed,” it’s estimated that 25% of all people on Death Row are innocent. That’s a book everyone should read. Trust me.

 

…It sure is nice to be loved.

 

…A note no one wants to get: “There are no possible moves.”

 

…The car commercial where the little girl giggles hysterically every time a snippet of “Wake Me Up (Before You Go Go)" comes on makes me laugh right along with her, and I’ve seen it at least 50 times.

 

…It’s kind of impossible not to get spoiled by Spell Check. I guess that’s a form of AI, right?

 

…I love Amazon, but their founder, not so much. I remember meeting him when I was at N, when they only sold books. Even back then, his arrogance bled right out of him. I can only imagine what he’s like now. 

 

…Yesterday someone online was saying how much they hated living in America, how awful the country is. I didn’t want to be one of those people, so I read his comments and tried to be thoughtful about them, and still, all I could come up with was—Why don’t you move then?

 

…One year I ran over 2,200 miles. That’s not a lot for an ultra-runner but for an average Joe, like I was, it’s pretty massive. Even then my addictive personality was showing itself.

 

…People I’d most like to have a drink with—Ryan Reynolds, Dolly Parton.

 

…You watch enough commercials and you realize nearly all the food being pitched is absolutely terrible for you. Looking at some of those obscenely large hamburgers, slathered and sweating out sauce, makes me want to vomit.

 

…Marlo Thomas is the closest thing we have to a living saint.

 

…You get a note, out of the blue, from a friend you love but haven’t heard from in ages, and it’s a good day.  

 

…Surprise. Seattle ranks 17 for U.S. cities with the most amount of rainfall. But it ranks 2^nd for most days of rainfall at 156. Makes sense. Yet it was awfully beautiful for yesterday’s MLB All-star game.

 

…So, hey, it’s Wednesday, which means it’s another good day to be alive. I feel very lucky for both of us, you and I.