—I’M SLEEPING, LATER EVERY DAY

 

It Doesn’t Always Look Like Darkness

 

        by Lesle Honore for tWitch

 

 

Disheveled

Discombobulated

Sometimes it looks like dance 

Like joy 

Like syncopated rhythms 

Like grace

Like choreography channeling

Ancestor’s dreams 

Powerful

Successful

Enviable

Sometimes we get so good 

At the act

At the entertainment 

At wearing the mask 

That we can fool ourselves 

A little bit

Long enough for the public 

To believe 

That we 

Have it all together 

That the airbrush portrait 

Is real 

The Instagram smile 

Is permanent 

That the steps aren’t automatic 

That happiness 24/7 isn’t toxic 

But the truth is 

Living is hard 

Lonely is real 

Grief is too heavy to hold 

People don’t check 

On the strong friends 

The smiling friends 

The dancing friends 

The friends who look like 

They are on top of the world 

Looks are often liars 

Hopelessness can grow 

Like weeds in the most beautiful 

Garden

It doesn’t always look like 

Darkness

And it’s so hard to say the words 

Out loud 

“I need help 

This is too much 

I don’t want to try anymore”

Because we clap for stunning 

Clap for the performance 

And ignore those in pain

It doesn’t always look like darkness

Sometimes it just looks like 

Our reflection

In the Mirror 

Sometimes it’s just too hard 

To stay in the light 

If life feels like it is too much 

to take one more step

let someone hold your hand while you walk

You aren’t alone 

You aren’t the only one 

I’ve had those thoughts too

You are not alone

I promise 

 

 

National Suicide prevention life line 1-800-273-TALK