--I HAVE BEEN A FOOL FOR LESSER THINGS
...I wrote poetry today. These (I think "Bullies" is my favorite):
Eighteen
That
broken bottle in your hand
Looks
a lot like me
Eighteen
and angry
Too
much useless sunshine
The
summer’s endless reach
A
noose around my neck
Home
no option
Only
alleys and freeways
Places
to unwind and wither
You
should
Look
at yourself right now
Pull
out a mirror
Or
find your reflection in
What’s
left of that bottle
Realize
that if anything
You
don’t want to grow up
Swollen
with regret
Misery
eating you whole
Like
your old man
Bullies
But
you think
What
if it’s true
The
things they say
The
labels, slurs and insults
Texts
on your phone
At
school
On
the bus
Online
Everywhere
you look
But
you think
What
if you fight back
With
some ranting of your own
Throw
some hateful darts their way
Or
buy some guns
Go
all Columbine
Make
them pay
What
then
Or
what if you simply
Tuck
your chin and dart your eyes
Take
it
Every
hurtful word
Swallow
it down like you have
Every
minute of
Every
day
For
the last three years
Or
perhaps you take that one guy’s advice
And
do it
Kill
yourself
Like
he said to
It’d
be easier that emptying the trash
Yes,
that would be
A
major accomplishment all right
And
possibly you’d feel
Better
when you’re dead
But
maybe you think
There’s
another way
What
if you found a friend
A
mom
A
dad
Someone
What
if you allowed yourself
To
crumble inside their embrace
Just
this once be vulnerable
Tell
them what’s going on
What
you’re up against
What
if you did that instead
Wouldn’t
that be a pretty good option
Wondering
Is
it warm where you are
Is
there fresh fruit and linen sheets
Do
the mornings make you feel special
Like
a princess
Who
is the one who makes your tea now
Is
he handsome and well-built
An
athlete or scholar
Your
best friend and secret-keeper
Does
your laughter still shake the walls
And
do you still mumble to yourself
When
you’re nervous
Has
my dog stopped missing me
Has
the stain of my imprint worn off in the rain
Is
there ever a time in the day
When
you wonder how I’m doing
And
if I think of you
You
always claimed I asked too many questions
Do
you still think so
Is
it fair for you to go your own way
While
I’m still tethered to the past
Like
a junkyard dog
No
longer angry
Just
desperate and very
Very
lonely
Climate
Change
But
really
There
is no moon
The
dogs have all left their masters
And
the assassins keep missing their mark
In
the wink of the last few stars
We
find the guilty party
Our
names written there
With
the high tide
The
oceans swelling
Whole
cities sinking
While
watch complicit
Congratulating
ourselves
On
having had
A
pretty good run
Cell
There
is proof somewhere
That
you once loved me--
Pawnshop
ring for sale
Record
of an unwanted fetus
Prom
pictures with big 80’s hair
Blood
on the sand
The
surf coming in
Loud
and violent.
But
I’m doing all right now
The
warden is friendly enough
And
this cell’s going to keep
Me
safe from you
For
years
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