--IT'S A LONG WAY THERE

…It’s Friday where I’m at.  How about you?

…A tissue used by Scarlett Johansson: Sold! for $5,300.

…The opportunity to name a Connecticut woman’s baby: Sold! for $15,000.

…An image of the Virgin Mary on a cheese sandwich: Sold! for $28,000.

…The world’s best single-malt whiskey no longer hails from Scotland. It’s distilled in an old welding shop beneath a bridge in Waco, Texas. Last year, Balcones Distillery beat storied Scottish spirits to become the first American whiskey to win Best in Glass, a blind taste competition judged by a panel of British experts.

…Until the late 19th century, people used a variety of unpleasant items to clean up in the loo, including leaves and corncobs. Then, in the late 1880s, New York inventor Seth Wheeler wrapped narrow perforated strips of paper around cardboard tubes. And a happy ending has been had by all.

…Teresa Richardson uploaded a single how-to-crochet video to YouTube on a whim. Now she earns a living from her tutorials, which have over 173,000 subscribers, many of whom also make money from their crafts.

…"I called a discount exterminator. A guy came by with a rolled-up magazine. "—Will Shriner

…"I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he’s gone."—Steven Wright

…"I constantly walk into a room, and I don’t remember why. But for some reason, I think there’s going to be a clue in the fridge. "—Caroline Rhea

…"I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?"—Jerry Seinfeld