Friday, June 14, 2013





--I'M BRUSHING UP MY FLAWS


…I ran ten miles this morning and feel a little banged up.  It’s nice to be able to go on those long runs when they’re comfortable, but I’m not in the shape I used to be, so around mile 6 it usually gets a little painful.

…I ran across this the other day.  It’s kind of cute:

Children Are Quick           

--TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find   North America  .

MARIA:         
Here it is. 
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered   America ?

CLASS:         Maria. 


--TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables. 


--TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' 

TEACHER:  No, that's wrong

GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.   


--TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O. 

TEACHER:   What are you talking about?

DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.  

--TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:       Me! 


--TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
 
GLEN:  
        Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.  

--TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE:         I is. 

TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
     

--TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.   Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his hand....
    

--TEACHER:    Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.  

--TEACHER:       Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?

CLYDE  :         No, sir. It's the same dog.   


--TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher 

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