--EVERYONE THAT GREETED ME WAS MOVING SLOW AND DRINKING FAST.  I WAS LOST INSIDE A PAINTING ON THE WALL.

 

A Necessary Thing

 

Remember that time you thought you might actually be a vampire, a werewolf, a normal person

Remember that time you met your first monster face-to-face and it looked very familiar
Remember that first time you heard them, and then all the times after that, how it never got better
Remember that time you saw the window explode, the stubby end of an arrow stuck in a sprocket of glass like symbolism
Remember that time you swore you’d never drink coffee or beer, never take drugs
Remember that time you told God to Fuck off and weren’t scared in the least
Remember that time you said God if you’re real please don’t let me die
(Why’d you do that if you’d already told Him to Fuck off)
Remember that time you fell asleep on a makeshift raft and almost flipped over the falls
Remember that time you cleaned every surface because your parents were screaming and it seemed like a necessary thing to do, something that might help repair them
Remember that other time when your mother led the herd of you through a night of sleet and snow saying about your father We’re out of here I hate that sonofabitch
Remember that time you were nine, when everything became real and true, and you walked bare-chested in the rain trying to be brave because you were anything but
Remember that time you had nothing to say so you made shit up just to be able to have a conversation with the woman who was your mother, who made you, who made dinner and sometimes breakfast, who wasn’t a very good mother at all, sorry to say
Remember that time you were a Peeping Tom and got an eye full
Remember that time you got an eye full when you were actually looking the other way
Remember that time a pheasant flew into the picture window and you ate it for dinner
Remember that time the police came and you were happy to see them, said Stay a while Let me show you around
Remember that time you thought dreams could be had and you pasted posters on the walls when you ran for President at age nine
Remember that time at age nine
Remember that time at age nine
Remember that time at age
Remember that time later when you saw the first crease of skin and mortality introduced itself, offering a shifty grin, like it knew so many scary things about you
Remember that time when you confused birth control with Aspirin, thought they were taken arbitrarily, realizing the girl was just a girl looking for a lay, not a soulmate, and it broke off a piece of you
Remember that time a friend grabbed your shirt collar and yanked you backwards so that city bus didn’t flatten you
Remember that time
Remember that time
There are so many times to remember let’s just jump ahead shall we
Remember that time you were a very bad dog owner
Remember that time you were a very bad person
Remember that time you (actually) said I love this company the way a man loves a woman
Remember that time you emailed at 3:11 am and got one back saying you were more or less stupid
Remember that time when you said sleep is overrated
That time I wished I’d had more kids
That I’ve had a good life
That I could die tomorrow and it would be okay
Do you remember any of that stuff
Maybe you should revisit it
It’s not too late
The sun’s coming up tomorrow
Just look out the window
And see if it hasn’t already bloomed
Staring back at you for an honest answer

  

 

--AND ALL I CAN DO IS SAY PLEASE, PLEASE, BABY PLEASE

 

…It’s Friday feeling like it’s Saturday not wanting to be Monday, though maybe it actually does.

…Today, already, I’ve seen every kind of cloud.  Early on it looked like a war was happening in the skies, everything sooty gray and claustrophobic, clouds with terrific wingspans, clouds wearing 1980’s shoulder pads, one cloud after the other trying to crowd out the next, like the paparazzi or groupies desperate to make it inside the room.

When the rains started everything lightened, not totally, mind you, but a little.  It felt like a release, like popping a ripe blister on your big toe.  The clouds looked like tattered sheets, like old garage rags washed and dried yet still lightly stained with grease.

Now the clouds are swimming overhead, acres of white pillows, cotton-headed with billowed bellies and the chubbiest ankles you’ve ever seen.  They’re kind of adorable and most definitely entrancing.

Clouds are like fish tanks or lava lamps or a campfire.  It’s easy to stare at them for hours.  There’s no need for narcotics when you have clouds like these floating out your window.

Come have a look…

…I had this happy poem published in a really wonderful journal which uses very slick and intriguing art with each piece they publish:

https://foxglovejournal.wordpress.com/2017/06/05/the-welders-song-len-kuntz/

…And the other day I got a contributor’s copy of the new Slag Journal.  I’m guessing only 30 to 40 people read the magazine, which is very sad, because it’s one of the best journals out there, lovingly done, with heavy paper stock and artwork that stuns.

I have the first two (happy) poems to lead off the issue.  I may have posted them before, but if not, here they are:

 

Menagerie

There is seam in this bottle

Straight as a cesarean scar
Where the two glass halves kiss
I would like to be constructed like that
Bound and connected to another thing so perfectly
Outside on the dock by the lake hatpin skinny girls
In string bikinis absorb midday sun
Believing it will cure something
Camouflage or strip away certain sins
So boys will see them differently
I’d like to tell them not to be so foolish
That perfection is a manmade hoax
A menagerie in photo-shopped magazines
But then I shouldn’t even be looking their way
Men under twenty maybe yes
But not a derelict fifty year old like me
The sexiest thing close at hand is
This table littered with drained Coronas
And an ashtray without ash
Gleaming like a colorless eye
Empty but for a discarded wedding band

 

Fishing

This is the perfect place

For drowning
Have you noticed?
It’s deepest in the cove
Where someone demolished
The beaver dam of evergreen limbs
Laced like arthritic fingers
Beneath the green-gray murk
Take the chain and tie it around my waist
Synch it tight because
I’m so thin now that people think I’m dying
Toss me overboard with an anchor
Count to one hundred backwards
Then float to the other end
Where all the really big fish
Are bored and biting

 

--DON’T BOTHER WITH ME, I AM BUSY MIMICKING A NORMAL PERSON

 

Imagination

I am making up a new world

Ripping away the barbed wire fences
Creating a moveable clay landscape
Turning cedars into palm trees
Despots into doves
Demons into ordinary parents
The kind that don’t smirk
When they say I love you
The kind of parents that
Don’t make you tremble

 

Each Morning

Each morning

I put on the same costume

Zip my fly,
Collect my books and
Pat down the surf wave
Cowlick I’m often teased about
Already I’m aware that there are
Far worse things
Than being teased
Already I’ve seen them up close
Felt their slice, their bite
Seen the bloody aftermath

At the bus stop I remind myself

That a beaver doesn’t mind the rain
A polar bear can withstand frigid cold
An eagle still soars in headlong winds
Why then should a scarecrow
Mind a good beating?
Waiting for the bus,
I rehearse the answer like it’s a mantra:
Nothing.  Nothing.  Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Each morning after

Another night of atrocities at home
Mother lights up at the table
Shooting cigarette smoke into our
Ears and cereal bowls,
Ready for a fight
Ready with the belt or pole
Repeating the same question:
What have you got to complain about?
What have you got to complain about? Huh?
The answer is one I know
The very one I’ve been practicing for weeks
Yet it’s a brick in my throat
A bloody fist
And I go mute again
Which makes her smile
Which makes her stop smoking for a while
Which makes her stand and
Find the nearest weapon, saying
Jesus Christ, when will you learn?

 

 

 

 

--THERE IS NOTHING ELSE

 

…Hey, Lifesaver how’s your day starting out?

I hope you have a fantastic weekend.

…It’s been a long while since I’ve had anything published, but this thing went up the other day:

https://foxglovejournal.wordpress.com/2017/05/28/the-history-of-their-handprints-len-kuntz/

…I am headed to Canada in a few minutes.  Specifically I’m headed to a tiny island called Galliano Island, then later Victoria.  I’ll be gone for five days which means I won’t be posting here until Wednesday at the earliest.

Please come back then.
Please?

…Here are some thing I like for a traveling weekend:

“The world is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” W.B. Yates

“We call them Faerie.  We don’t believe in them.  Our loss.” Charles de Lint

“The baby bat

Screamed out in fright,
‘Turn on the dark,
I’m afraid of the light’.”
--Shel Silverstein

"When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge." Albert Einstein

"It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good." Brian Tracy

"Wisdom comes alone through suffering." Aeschylus

"You, enlightened, self-sufficient, self-governed, endowed with gifts above your fellows, the world expects you to produce as well as to consume, to add to and not to subtract from its store of good, to build up and not to tear down, to ennoble and not degrade. The time is short, the opportunity is great; therefore, crowd the hours with the best that is in you."  John Hibben

"Real heroes are men who fall and fail and are flawed, but win out in the end because they've stayed true to their ideals and beliefs and commitments." Kevin Costner

 --THE MOON TOLD ME

THAT THE MASS AND STRENGTH

OF THE REAL STORY
    DOES NOT LIE
ON THE HANDS OR LIPS,
   NOT THE GROIN
 OR EVEN IN THE HEART.
  IT IS ALWAYS IN THE EYES.
THE MOON SAID:
    KEEP THEM OPEN—
YOUR EYES--
  WHEN YOU KISS.
   ALL THE ANSWERS
ARE THERE,
   EXPOSED AND NAKED,
EVERY SINGLE TRUTH
   GLEAMING.

…This morning the waves have all left the lake.  No boats bob.  The eagle’s in hiding.  The beaver must be holding his breath underwater.

And still it’s beautiful.

…The keyboard is slippery and dull.  It keeps getting stuck on the K and P.  It’s all I can type.  Occasionally I get an L.  That’s how it goes some days.

…Yesterday the sky was gray, the color of dirty water.  The sky boomed with thunder.  It sounded ominous, like God pounding his fist on the dinner table.  I worried for the lone guy in the metal boat but then he paddled away quick enough, drenched, however, from the spitting rain.

…Here are some interesting and/or funny bits from Facebook friends this week:

-If a person didn't have a miserable time in high school, I don't trust them.
 

-The other day I picked up the baby from daycare and a little girl whose like 3 told me, "My mommy has a baby in her tummy and she lets me rub it."
I said, "that's cool, you're gonna be a big sister."
Then She told me, "Can I rub the baby in your tummy?"
But another little boy jumped in, "Boys don't have babies in the tummies!"
And that poor girl looked so confused and pointed at my stomach saying, "But, but, but..."

-"Thank you for your recent submission, our editorial department was close with it, very close. Do you have a pickup truck? We are currently moving some heavy furniture. We are going to pass on the sub. But this Saturday 8am to 2pm ish, are you available, with the truck? We love your work and could use your help and your support! Will have sangria here, we are making it now as a matter of fact, friend. What do you say?" - the editors

-Liam: "If you look at the moon, you'll dream of the animals, and they'll tell you they're sorry they died, and they miss you."

-Where the Hell are my pants?

-Did you hear about the Italian Chef?
He pastaway.

-In my news feed tonight, one friend getting married tomorrow and another one got engaged tonight. But I hired a new housekeeper today, so that's probably the most important relationship of my life.

-I like the idea of doing things more than doing things.

 

 

--GOD IS GREAT, BEER IS GOOD, AND PEOPLE ARE CRAZY

 

 …Hey, You.
How’s your holiday weekend going so far?  Mine’s been pretty darn good.  It’s hard to complain when the weather makes everything look like a slice of paradise.

 ...On the lake yesterday I saw a woman sitting on an inflatable white swan, a little girl swimming with floaties on her arms, two grannies in a canoe, slews of fishermen, lots of wake boarders and water skiers, the Sheriff, but thankfully, no boat donning a confederate flag so far.

Oh, and I didn’t see you.

…I’m taking a poetry break to share some things I recently learned that you might find interesting.  The first one blew my mind:

-A 7th grader at Lance Cpl. Anthony Aguirre Junior High School in Houston was awarded a certificate that read "MOST LIKELY TO BECOME A TERRORIST" inside a border of cheerful stars.  Lizeth Villanueva, who was bestowed the unwanted honor, said her teacher gave out different "mock awards" including “MOST LIKELY TO GET ALONG WITH WHITE PEOPLE” to her advanced learning class. The teacher told them they were supposed to be funny but they "might hurt students' feelings."

-36% of women said they’d take a pay cut, gain 10 pounds or remain celibate six months in exchange for clear skin

-Co-workers make 49% of American feels shame or guilt for taking a vacation.

-President Obama spent $97 million dollars on vacations in 8 years.

Trump has spent $24 million dollars in his first 10 weeks.

--23,000 people were killed in Mexico last year in the fight against drug cartels.  That death toll is second only to Syria, and well ahead of Iraq, Afghanistan and Somalia, countries where was violence is frequently in the news

-Americans spent $6.7 billion on legal marijuana in 2016, up 34% from 2015

--4,169 people died from drug overdoses in Ohio last year alone, a 36% increase.  The bulk of the deaths were opioid-related.

-A 59.60-carat pink diamond sold for a record $71.2 million in Hong Kong on Tuesday to local jewelers Chow Tai Fook after a five-minute bidding war between three phone bidders.

The "Pink Star", the largest Internally Flawless Fancy Vivid Pink diamond ever graded by the Gemological Institute of America according to Sotheby's, set a new record for any diamond or jewel at auction.

-Joining the rarefied $100 million-plus club in a sales room punctuated by periodic gasps from the crowd, Jean-Michel Basquiat’s powerful 1982 painting of a skull brought $110.5 million at Sotheby’s, to become the sixth most expensive work ever sold at auction. Only 10 other works have broken the $100 million mark.

 

 

--I’M ALL TANGLED UP IN BARBED WIRE

 A Poor Boy’s Necropolis

I am telling my bones

To be patient
Don’t break
Not yet
Put the noose down
Use it as a jump rope
If necessary
Dice it into a dozen
Bushy eyebrows and
Short moustaches
Make a decoupage
Charlie Chaplin portrait
Pin it to the
Bedroom wall
And wait the war out

Next I am coaxing my bones 

Like a snake charmer
Until they turn fluid and liquid
Becoming a series of lava lamps
That glow under skin
Electric and ethereal
My heart shielded
By so much color
Distracted by all that beauty
A dull toad
Barely beating

Next I am telling my bones

Bedtime stories and fables
While trying to sound
Convincing and authoritative
So they know
I mean business
Like Yahweh in
The Old Testament
When he wiped out
Whole countries
Using genocide and infanticide 
When He asked a father
To take his own son’s life
Without apology

Next I’m becoming a young

Orthopedist skilled at the craft
Tucking my bones
Into soft scarves
Swaddling the ones
That still have flesh
Clinging to them
I dig a shallow grave
Nothing elaborate
Where my bones and I
Lay down together
Tricking ourselves
Into believing the dirt
Showering us overhead
Is an irregular water feature
Spewing pebbles and soil
Instead of clear sprays

Last I tell my bones

The biggest lies I can think of
And when I run out of lies
I tell them two short ones
That they are safe
That we both are
I repeat these over and over
I tell them anything
To distract us
From what’s coming next