--YESTERDAY THE CHURCH BELLS
RANG, JUST FOR ME
…Hello, it’s me again, still trying to sort things
out. (I know: no surprise there.)
…The way a person compliments someone says a lot about
the person doing the complimenting. I
mean a compliment can be the opposite of a compliment depending how it’s
delivered.
…A reasonable system works because we’re not all crazy
on the same day. But then again, who’s
to say what crazy really looks like?
…It’s not our business to judge people, and still we
do it all the time.
…Today I kept writing the same poem, over and over,
not getting anywhere, until I realized I was writing it with an eraser.
…Back then, most of the neighborhood kids thought I was
a ghost, but their parents never stopped staring each time I walked by. Either way it was creepy.
…If there’s a moment you wish you could return, I’ll
take it and give you a full refund.
…All I can say is, thank God I have these stories.
…There are things I thought were horrific that turned
out to be blessings instead, and there were blessings that later morphed into
horrors I hadn’t expected.
…So why am I so afraid of falling when I mostly avoid
going to any heights?
…Did I mention I’m bad at math, science, mechanics,
cooking and a whole host of other things?
…I’ve been asked stranger things, but yes, my mother
wanted a girl instead.
…Tonight, I’m on a raft to Mauritius. The sky is new, the wind feels like a hug and
I’m not even halfway there yet.
…Who hasn’t followed some invisible magic at one time
or another? Even children know the
importance of that. Especially children.
…When you’re not the favorite and it’s made very
apparent that you’re not, it’s easy to think you’ll never be anyone’s favorite,
to shrink and shrink until you’re the size of a very puny jawbreaker.
…Even now, I am a sound that does not stop. I say, “I can’t, I need, I want," and “Is there
a god? And “Yes there is, but he’s just not listening right now.”
…We all have our make or break moments. Some of us end up taking home shiny new
packages, while others of us take home a bag of shards.
…There are days when I feel braver than others, and it
has nothing to do with rainfall and the direction of the wind.
…The days may be slow, but make no mistake: they’re
following you.
…But you never know, people win the lottery all the
time, babies are born every two seconds, and I once twirled in a hail storm
without any shoes or socks on.
…Fire has a lot meaning for me. The smell of it, how destructive it can
be. Sometimes fire is the answer even
when it shouldn’t be.
…What if we traced the path of that boy all the way to
adulthood? Would we intervene? Would we say, “Oh no, not that. This.
This is what you should chose.”
…I have no doubt there are many days when my body
would like to tell me to go to hell.
…The mountains don’t care about their names, nor do
the rivers or lakes or oceans. Why then
are we so particular?
…Each night a little piece of me got filched, but
little by little I’ve been sewing myself back together, and since I don’t sew,
that’s why I walk somewhat stilted.
…Blame can be placed wherever, but it’s not going to
change anything. What happened,
happened. End of story.
…What’s it feel like to have everything inside you
intact? Just give me a picture of that,
please.
…Liar moon, you with your severed head. You ask but never answer. How fair is that?
…We always find something to give us the impression we
exist.
…Sometimes the net that keeps me from plummeting
starts to fray and sag and there’s not much I can do about it.
…Here’s one of life’s most important questions that
doesn’t get answered enough: “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be
happy?”
…Sometimes wanting to help is really just the sunny
side of control.
…When they tell you it’s a small world, don’t believe
them. Most of the time, it’s the biggest
thing out there.
…Nothing in the world sounds like crushed ice. Nothing in the world is the pink color of
that drink you were holding.
…Light is bad at changing its mind, so it continues to
tumble in the same direction, the way I continue to pummel this keyboard.
…There’s so much to be afraid of, so much to gaze at
and be wrong about.
…I’m never capable of holding onto the very things
that could save me.
…Tonight, I’m betting on Cabernet again.
…Dear God,
If you have a bored angel sitting around somewhere
with nothing to do, would you mind sending them here?
Thank you.
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