--SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT, OR ELSE MAYBE PAINT THINNER

…Happy Friday, Peeps.

…Gave the dog a bath and now she’s scratching more than ever.  My dog does not like baths.  But she sure looks cute after she’s all dry.

I love Lucy.

…Here are the notable comments from Facebook last week, some funny and others just interesting:

-Sorry if I "poked" any of you; I'm having some trouble with my mouse.

-Today, I realized that flashing my high beams to alert oncoming traffic of a nearby cop is the closet I'll ever get to being Paul Revere.

 -Just overheard two assholes bragging about who's taken less vacation - the guy who hasn't "taken a day off in three years" won. Is there some way we can institute a national vacation exchange pool - so that the millions of Americans who have no paid time off can use the leave all these corporate jerks are so proud to never touch?

 -There is a small gap between the kitchen sink and the wall. I’ve dropped, over time, all our forks down there. They cannot be retrieved. We eat with our hands now.

-Yes, I did just have a job interview and yes, I did just come home and find my breast button on my dress wide open. Glad I wore a matching color bra. I am so together.

-My phone died while I was at the fair, so I did a lot of people watching. Here are my wide sweeping generalizations/observations:
1. Some people should be less proud of their (non-existent) abs.
2. Mexican kids are always well-dressed.
3. You can't help but stare at a pregnant 15-year old.
4. You have to bite your tongue when you see a mother smoking a cigarette while making a bottle right over her newborn. 

5. Two hand dryers in a bathroom with ten stalls is not nearly enough.

6. The fair is in desperate need of a beer garden.

7. The carnies are clean this year but that could be because it’s the first day of the fair.5. The fair is more ethnically diverse than it was 10 years ago.
6. The carnys are very clean this year, but that could be because it's only Day 3 of the fair.
7. The fair is in dire need of a beer garden.
8. Fischer scones will be the death of me.
9. Two hand dryers in a bathroom with 10 stalls is not enough.

5. The fair is more ethnically diverse than it was 10 years ago.
6. The carnys are very clean this year, but that could be because it's only Day 3 of the fair.
7. The fair is in dire need of a beer garden.
8. Fischer scones will be the death of me.
9. Two hand dryers in a bathroom with 10 stalls is not enough.
5. The fair is more ethnically diverse than it was 10 years ago.
6. The carnys are very clean this year, but that could be because it's only Day 3 of the fair.
7. The fair is in dire need of a beer garden.
8. Fischer scones will be the death of me.
9. Two hand dryers in a bathroom with 10 stalls is not enough.

 -Last night's dream was really obvious; I had sex in an elevator and a bodega with Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson, respectively, of course.

 -World news makes my soul hurt

 -I do my best work surrounded by bad influences. Otherwise, I'm just fucking boring.

 -I have to say, cocaine would have been mighty helpful today

 -I just used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket. So I'm going to need bail money.

-hey you

if you're reading this, i bet i like your poem / book / song / biscuits-&-gravy / painting / photography or like, whatever-it-is-that-makes-you-special / you-are-proud-of, because i like you and i like when you express yourself, xoxo

-dear the jesus,

parker and i are in atlanta now. please bless us with liquor, cheap food, and little to no traffic.

thanks, bro

 -Yesterday, I met a stranger in an abandoned Walmart parking lot and bought chickens out of the back of his van. What an interesting life I have wandered into.

hey find it so irresistible. Its what really attracts them to men. A woman will say she wants a man who buy her flowers and listens to her stories and cares and bla bla bla (all that sissy stuff) but at the end of the day she will fall for the alpha male (Usually found in Badboys) and break all her rules. This is because for women attraction is not in the head; its in the heart. Its how they are wired – To fall for Alpha Males – And they can’t help it. This is why you want to become an alpha male."hey find it so irresistible. Its what really attracts them to men. A woman will say she wants a man who buy her flowers and listens to her stories and cares and bla bla bla (all that sissy stuff) but at the end of the day she will fall for the alpha male (Usually found in Badboys) and break all her rules. This is because for women attraction is not in the head; its in the heart. Its how they are wired – To fall for Alpha Males – And they can’t help it. This is why you want to become an alpha male."

 -What doesn't kill you makes you stranger.

 -The world is full of stupid fools.