--IT’S FINALLY GETTING BETTER HERE
…It’s a banner year at my place for blueberries. I’ve spent over five hours the last two days picking them. The bushes in my yard are probably fifty years old and some are over ten feet tall so picking gets a little tricky. But they sure taste good.
Here were the notable comments on Facebook last week:
-now I weight lift to Beethoven. at home of course.
-the mini van in front of me has a bumper sticker that says--ETHANOL: FEED YOUR CAR; STARVE A KID
-I like when a man wears a Superman t-shirt paired with flip flops, 'cause nothing says Man of Steel like the clippity-clop of plastic footwear.
CO2: IT'S PLANT FOOD, NOT POLLUTION
i hate this person, and want to drop kick them in the face
-I hate the loyalty cards you have to use when shopping--and the fact that the checker always looks at the receipt and says "Thank you Miss Hinkson".... so I changed my name to Elizabeth America. Now whenever I shop, I get "Thank you Miss America"... then a confused pause and lots of giggles! Simple pleasures...
-A FB friend posted that she heard on good authority that today is National Orgasm Day. In her comments thread, it was noted (lamented?) that it comes only once a year.
-one of the most disturbing things I just saw....I head a crash of something crazy loud on the back porch...I jump up from my comfy seated spot where my wicked hot and strong coffeelove-love and a handfulla ibuprofen is working to calm my crampies...I hear squeaking over and over...something was attacked. I think it's the dove that's made a nest on the ledge of our ladder out back...maybe a hawk snatched it up. I race to the back door and there's a giant squirrel with a baby bunny in it's mouth! Holy FUCK! I say, not knowing what to do and before I could do anything, inna mad flash it took off with it's screaming prey....yes it was screaming. Poor bunnyheart. What a terrible sight and sound...one that's gonna stay in my head for all eternity. I think I need a drink already...
-Caught my coworker eating food that a customer had left on her plate. He just looks at me, shrugs, then says "I would have fucked her."
-Quick, how do I become a hipster? According to trusted ideological sources both right and left, hipsterdom constitutes a badge of dishonor, a marker of meretricious style and thoughtless privilege … but every time I see a PICTURE of a HIPSTER on the INTERNET, I get a funny feeling in my belly, a little gastro-erotic leap of excitement … so I wanna BE one! A hipster!! How do I BE one?! (I think all I need is glasses. Possibly also 15 years subtracted from my age. But mainly glasses. You know.)
-Hey Lauren, just followed your example, posted an ad at CL looking for a platonic friend. HA. "I can lick you to multiple orgasm and make you forget about your ex." Why did I mention the ex? Because I'm a fucktard. "How tall are you?" Geeeeez.
-Arguing about religion/politics on Facebook is so COOL! In fact, science proves that arguing about these things on Facebook almost always changes someone's views!
-How come people always touch each other when posing for photos? Like, if we wouldn't normally touch when standing next to each other, why not just take pictures of ourselves standing around not touching?