Monday, April 28, 2014



--I’LL BE BETTER WHEN I’M OLDER


…First morning in Manhattan in a few years.  I love it here.
Everywhere I went last night people were speaking a language other than English.
NYC is different on a Sunday night, though.  Into the evening the streets empty out, which is a strange sight.  There were lots of clouds last night, lavender and plum, which gave the sky and the sky scrapers a spooky, haunted quality.  The Chrysler Building looked majestic. 
You should have seen it.
Today should be lots of walking, shopping and people watching, maybe a couple museums.

…Here are some quips from Facebook Friends last week:
-Let's see if wearing a Spiderman costume while I write helps. Better than coffee?
-As far as I can tell, the following conditions are out of fashion for women:
1. nymphomania (no longer exists)
2. menopause (must have a different name now, never hear the word spoken)
3. nipples (they are absolutely unfashionable and hidden in padded bras)
4. "the vapors" (whatever that was)
 -Most things in my life are influenced by Columbo.

 -Tips On How To Quit Smoking!!
1. Avoid activities that are improved by smoking, such as:
- Drinking alcohol
- Thinking deeply
-Talking to people
-Watching Mad Men
-Dating
-Taking a shit
-Leaving your house
-Staying in for the night
-Listening to music
-Making eye contact
2. Replace smoking with another habit like shooting heroin or incessant masturbation (unless you think these would be improved by smoking, if so you should avoid them at any cost.)
3. Kill yourself.
- Talking to people
- Watching Mad Men
- Dating
- Taking a shit
- Leaving your house
- Staying in for the night
- Listening to music
- Making eye contact
- Talking to people
- Watching Mad Men
- Dating
- Taking a shit

--Something you're not expecting to hear when you accidentally enter the women's restroom: "Mathieu? Hey! How's it going? Say hi to your mother for me."


-Hi Friday. You're cute. What's your sign?

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