Thursday, March 21, 2013


…Is it bad that I forget what day it is?  More and more, I do that quite often.
But I just look and so I know it's Thursday.
I know tonight I will go to The Hugo House in Seattle and hear writers read and I will be one of those reading as well.
I know I'll be a little bit nervous even though that's kind of ridiculous, since I used to speak in front of very large groups, five to ten times larger than the size of the crowd which will be at The Hugo House.
Still, I will try not to be nervous and I will attempt to make eye contact and project and find a cadence that makes my writing sound fluid.
I will try to do all those things and later I'll let you know if I succeeded or not.

…Until then, here are some more Facebook quips/ditties/ruminations that peeked my interest, and maybe yours as well…

-They better let atheists in Heaven, or I'm screwed.

-Question: is there any point in getting old, besides the not-dying part?

-Wanted: extremely wealthy terminally ill literate adorable man over the age of 90 who needs a sweet brunette to read original stories to him, no sex, just reading and occasional pecks on the cheek. Marriage is possible. References upon request.

-Things I've learned over the weekend...I don't love jesus, I'm all for child abuse, I support all forms of violence against women, I hate kittens and puppies, and I don't love my own children. ALL THIS BECAUSE I DIDN'T REPOST. I guess reposting is the new "if you don't forward this email, your leg will fall off and a leprechaun will crap in your cereal."

-Smashing windows like there ain't no blowback.

-"Gay" man telling me how "hot" I am. And how my smile "cripples" him. I am too drunk to deal with this. And now the band is playing Freebird and I want to evaporate with someone.

-Just tried to include a message with a friend request, was offered choices that amounting to this: 'You're not connected to so-and-so on facebook, so your message will be delivered to their Other Box. Would you like it delivered to a Box Where They Might Actually See It for $1?'

-My girlfriend was answering the Jeopardy final question. I thought she said "Ice Cream and Methadone". What she really said was "Hunchback of Notre Dame". Time to get my hearing checked.

-last full day of winter. i celebrated with a beer and a burrito. well, two beers. i'll miss you, snowy. i'll miss you, wintry mix. tomorrow begins another life.

-I've discovered that some of my emotional problems are a result of too much love rather than too little.

-In my next life I am going to be a radical feminist, obsessed with root vegetables.
-I have a cold. Need juice. And someone to sing Soft Kitty.

-Maybe it's normal to caress your gun on the sidewalk but it scared me.

-Him, glancing at a card on the dresser: Who is that? Christopher Robin?
Me: No, he's that guy from "A Clockwork Orange."
Him: Oh man. I hated that movie. I wish I'd never seen it.
Me: It's a great movie.
Him: No it isn't. It's perverted.
Pretty sure March is the cruelest month.

-Tell me about your day, sugar…

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