Friday, February 24, 2012
HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT US SO FAR?
Yesterday I threw away thousands and thousands of my own words. Maybe over a hundred thousand. Perhaps more.
I decided to get organized and go through the stacks and stacks of papers and folders.
There were sections of stories, half-finished pieces, really bad poetry, broke-down sentences, phrases, a line here and there that didn't make sense but must have at the time I wrote them down. The majority of it was really horrid.
It felt good to purge, to get my office less cluttered, but what I tossed was some really bad (okay, shitty) writing.
It nicked my confidence a bit. I kept thinking--How can the person who wrote this be the same person who wrote that other (good) thing? It was a big disconnect, let me tell you.
…But then, yesterday I submitted a poem and got it accepted seven minutes later. That's a record.
…Yesterday two different people asked me to read and review their book. I said, "Yes." I'm not very good at the word No. Plus I like to help people. Plus I'd like to know they'd do the same--or similar for me, even though I'm not really great at asking for help.
…Yesterday the power went out again. This happens frequently where I live because I am in the boonies with telephone poles and power lines exposed, not to mention lots of trees, many of which are old and arthritic (well, for trees) and tend--when it's windy--to topple over said power lines.
I am a spoiled American and therefore really enjoy the use of electricity.
I am a spoiled American and take the consistent and immediate use of electricity at my disposal for granted.
I admit it.
I could never make it in the woods with a lantern. I couldn't even make it with a camper fully stocked with food and a year's worth of propane. Even the word "camping" makes me anxious.
…Yesterday I felt really lonely at one point. I started feeling sorry for myself. Then I realized how idiotic and self-indulgent that was.
…Yesterday is over and now it's today. That's just how it works.
"Many of our fears are tissue paper thin, and a single courageous step
would carry us clear through them." Brendan Francis
"Everything eternal happens in a spare room at 3am." Ron Dakron
"Ek mis jou, أفتقدك, Ես քեզ կարոտում եմ, Seni özledim, Ez dut, Я сумую па табе, আমি আপনি ফসকান, 我想念你, Jeg savner dig, Ma igatsen sind, Sinto saudades de ti, Μου λείπεις, Ég sakna þín, Fada liom uaim tú, Mi manchi, 私はあなたがいなくて寂しい, Ego te requiro, دلم برایت تنگ شده, Я скучаю по тебе, Em nhớ anh, Te extraño."
"I miss you" in 22 different languages.