--IT’S NEVER TOO LATE

…At least that’s what they tell me.  At least that’s what they say.

Never too late for what, though? 

I guess it just depends what is that you want, or need.

…Anyway…

I am a fan of pop culture, though sometimes it seems idiotic, like these two bits of entertainment news from yesterday:

…A song listed as "Track 3" from the pop star's latest album "1989" was mistakenly released as a brief audio clip of white noise. Despite the glitch, the Canadian news site Nation Post reported that the track rocketed to the top of Canada's iTunes on Tuesday morning.

For the past few weeks, Swift has been unveiling songs from the album in the days leading up to its release. Apparently, the chance to listen to and download new music from the singer was so enticing that for a time, "Track 3" beat out her actual songs "Welcome to New York," "Shake It Off" and "Out of the Woods" on iTunes' Top 10 chart.

…Britney Spears was doing well with her Vegas contract -- raking in nearly $30 mil for 2 years ... but we just found out, 50 shows into her run, her show was so successful she got an even sweeter deal.
Sources connected to Britney tell TMZ ... the singer did indeed sign a contract for $310K per performance, with 96 concerts over 2 years the total was $29,760,000.
But Planet Hollywood was blown away by ticket sales, which they said broke Vegas records. So Britney's people went back to the bargaining table and hashed out an amendment -- with back end, merchandising and other perks, the singer will earn around $475,000 a show.  Celine Dion, the top money earner in Vegas, makes $476K a show.
Planet Hollywood actually added shows for Britney ... she'll now do 140 shows during the 2-year residency.
Bottom line ... with all her ventures ... we're told EVERY WEEK, Britney's people deposit around 1 MILLION DOLLARS in her bank account.

…But then I go on Facebook last week, and have a laugh or chuckle (are these the same thing?) reading posts such as these:

- just found a dead bee in my room and cried about it.

-warm and breezy, like your singing voice.

-"Men will let anything suck their dick. Dog, coyote, vampire, werewolf, zombie, Walgreen's clerk, retard from Dixie."

Today while I was with a client, this woman was staring at me for a good 10 minutes before I said something to her and when I did, she told me it was because I looked like someone who was wanted for murder in Italy. WAY TO BLOW MY COVER, BITCH!

-Darby just told us he hopes he doesn't need our money when we die. Oh boy. How do I let him down easy? What $$?

-"There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food."

-does anyone have some thin wire/twine? i wanna make this rape whistle cross i found into an upside down cross necklace

-So, I'm at Penn Station an hour early because that's how I like it but it's sort of like arriving in hell an hour early and who wants that? Also, I put on too much make up so that people won't confuse me for a man, a thing I noticed middle aged women did when I was younger and felt sorry for them

-subway quote: "what the fuck you looking at me for?"

-Excitement at opening a package with advance copies of my novel dissipated quickly when a certain 7yo asked, "Why have you only written two books? That's not very many."

"Writing a poem, for me, is a lot like drunk dialing an ex-girlfriend at 1am."

OK I might as well just come out and say it. I'm riding an armadillo naked across the Mexican border at midnight under the harvest moon.

-I love it when toilet water splashes up and hits you in the face!

-Been a pretty productive day on Facebook so far:

Learned what Gordon Ramsay was like when he was young.

Watched someone pet a huge snail.

Learned 15 different potential pet names for my penis.

Saw the 15 best high heels for my penis.

Learned about Cat Circles.

Heard a woman destroy everything I thought I knew about the clarinet.

-Don’t send me poems with stolen lines in them from Beyonce and Kanye. Stop it!

-News reporter just said his "life got flipped turned upside down" about a man in a hit-and-run accident.

 -one of my housemates uses AXE BODYWASH. am i wrong, or is this grounds for eviction?

-i like butts.  a lot.  there are a lot of butts I like.