…RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS

Nothing to say but here’s some words from Facebook people”

I wish I was as wise and as wittyas my Facebook friends who had these things to say:

People, please don't do meth. There are no worms in your skin, and short of detox, there's no medicine for what ails you. Go home. We're closed.

The cat has a stuffed penis (with cock ring) catnip toy. Of course Ben's friend brings it to me, smirking. "This looks like a butt!" He declares, pointing at the balls. I am the best mom.

So this just happened. Police came knocking on my door, asking for me. My landlord called them to speak with me about my "unsupervised and out of control children" which they have suddenly received a list of grievances about signed by 10 - TEN - neighbors! Every little incident from the past three years whether it involved my children or not - lumped on me. All a week after the neighbor showed up yelling at my door, cussing me out because my son aimed a laser pointer towards her and a cat and dropped a note from the window asking her if it was her cat let loose outside. For this, so begins a witch hunt. Grab your pitchforks and torches, the B­­­­­­­_________’ s are on the loose! So how am I feeling Facebook, appalled, saddened and frustrated. I am so not where I belong.

THIS JUST HAPPENED:i was walking with a case of beer, and the box handle ripped, and a bottle fell onto the street and shattered. looking around, i noticed a couple on their porch, and not wanting to leave the broken glass i asked if i could use a broom. they said yes, and as the gal went to get the broom i handed the dude two of the remaining beers as a thank you for them being so chill and helpful. then, after i swept up the glass and put it in their dumpster, dude gave me two mugs for being so considerate.

In portland we’re using booze and pot like chickens and goats, except we have them, too, because it’s portland. 

oh every conversation you have is about drugs, you are clearly an interesting, progressive, and liberated human being.

  

A drag queen just compared me to Nicole Kidman. Fucking swoon cake

I'm still pissed off that you can't get steel wool anymore

in portland, we're using booze and pot like chickens for goats, except we have those too, because it's portland. two nugs for being so considerate.

I don't think it's complicated—don't hit, beat or abuse women, children, or animals. Be kind to each other, in every possible way.

i was told this in class and i think it's true but i could be wrong: gillette wanted to sell razors to women, i think maybe it was during a war and men were gone but i'm not sure maybe they just realized they could double their market, so they made up a myth that european women shave their underarms to encourage american women to be similarly elegant (bc of concept that europe is naturally elegant.) of course, it is a famous cultural trope now that european women do NOT shave, so this is all pretty funny. basically everything you do is arbitrary and was invented to sell you shit.