--I’M GETTING DRUNK ON A PLANE
…What a beautiful day it is here in Seattle. I hope the sun is shining down on you wherever you are.
…I’ve been doing a lot of research about prisons for the novel I’m writing. I might need to go to one, but each time I call the prison that’s fifteen minutes away I get a recording so I’m not sure of the protocol.
…Here are some interesting Facebook posts this week from various friends:
“Dear Editor, this is my poetry website__________ which I would like you to review. There are over 80 poems there. I hope you can find one or two that you feel merits publication in your literary magazine.”
Our response:Our response:The Submitters reply:"Fuck you ass hole. I am an old man no time to jump through your hoops."Our response:The Submitters reply:"Fuck you ass hole. I am an old man no time to jump through your hoops."Our Response:
Dear ______: Our full submission guidelines are posted on our site. Please refer to them. We look forward to reading your work!
Fuck you asshole. I'm an old man with no time to jump through hoops.
-Last night I went to a strip club and a cemetery. Today I watch my little sister graduate. Cheers!
-My daughter: Yesterday a woman was supposed to come to my class to talk about volcanoes but, at the last minute, she couldn't make it.
Me: That blows.
-Some of my Facebook friends are total whack jobs. Not you, of course. I like you.
-Last night I learned that putting a dog down, digging a hole in the back yard and burying it in the rain is a life experience I could have done without.
-Why yes, yes, I did just walk all around the grocery store wearing a T-Shirt that says "I Have Issues," and yes, when I got home the zipper on my jeans WAS completely unzipped.
-Let's make a list of the things men are useful for. I’ll start:
1. Men can be good at cleaning dog toys.