—NOVEMBER MADE ME CRY, DECEMBER MADE ME SHY

 

 

dolphin play

 

let’s (.…)

under a

waterfall

your skin

slick and

puckered

ready for

the next volt

or crush

I’ll shout

I love you’s

through the roar

while you

tell me to

(….) off again

no need to fight

for a frequency

or court anything

but intimacy

the waves are

going to lull us

salt intake’s going

to swell us

might stay here

til ’21

bury my face

in your chest

like you’re

the only one

(you are)

I’ll braid

your hair

with seaweed

while you steal

my breath

and sole need

let’s catch

this dolphin

see where

it takes us

he’s giggling

so hard

little guy

must have

read my mind

 

—HE DOESN’T LOOK A THINK LIKE JESUS, BUT HE TALKS LIKE A GENTLEMAN, JUST LIKE YOU IMAGINED

 

 

choke

 

got a strange day

in my pocket

all dressed up with

nowhere to go

think I’ll close

the door

and recreate

my own show

find some love

on the screen

not care what

that means

I’ve been

losing sleep

and a grip

trying to shake

the things that

make me sick

couldn’t be a

better man

unless I was

a deader man

woke before

the rooster

and the one

before that

one sad sack

and one bad habit

hope you’re sleeping

like a doll baby

cause I can’t dream

when I’m this crazy

wrote you a song

poured my guts out

tried to sing it

but it only

made me shout

got a strange day

stuck in my throat

trying to swallow

but all I do is choke

trying to wallow

but all I do is choke

all I do is choke

 

—THIS IS THE CLOSEST THING TO CRAZY I HAVE EVER BEEN

 

 

have you seen me

 

when you

called off

the search

the flowers

uprooted or

hung themselves

threw their ratty

luggage on the yard

and thumbed it

out of town

while the sky went

a hideous shade

of brown

left me dizzy as hell

all I hear now

is the rusty clatter

of that warped key

and broken bell

and the days slog on

a lot like hell

even death looks

a little lazy

doing its killing

after dark

camouflaged by infection

and fire smoke

all hazy

and it’s okay I’m just

feeling a little placid

can’t seem to

stomach the rancid

can’t even make it to noon

which is pretty soon

time to drink

I’d rather feel

than think        

thoughts have been

my enemy

like those three peaks

in Albuquerque

where nothing gets decided

and every desire

is unavailable

not meant to

be acquired

but I’m still

studying the facts

printed out like a vert

on the milk carton back

degenerate and desperate

imploring the reader

HAVE YOU SEEN ME

HAVE YOU SEEN ME

HAVE YOU?

 

 

 —I GET INSECURE FOR STUPID REASONS, I TELL MYSELF I SHOULDN’T, BUT I FEEL IT

 

The Importance of Play

 

 Today all I

wanna do is

 something

without purpose

 just play

it doesn’t have

 to be childlike

not like that

  maybe I slap you

on the ass and

 run for cover

or you take me

 on the counter

hood of the car

 or under a

scalding shower

 today let’s just play

come here and

 give me your digits

my mouth is open

 and it’s really   

really wet

 

—SADNESS IS FOR SUCKERS, AND MOST OF THE TIME I’M A PRETTY BIG SUCKER

 

 

bloody mary

 

let’s not sing

the mundane

kill me instead

no need for apologies

excuses or

a burial

the crows

are wise and

need to be fed

I read where

a woman lifted

a car off

her daughter’s

crushed body

just today

or yesterday

I saw a

mimosa sunrise

and a bloody

mary sunset

oh my

there are all

these miracles

taking place

right over

our shoulders

so why are we

even bothering

with this?

 

—I HATE HOW YOUR TALK TO YOURSELF

 

Flush

 

been sitting here

not really listening

just poking skin

ripping sails

hoping not to

break anything

crumple or wail

been wondering lately

a lot about Hell

wondering if you

can actually tell

if you love-hate

someone or something

like the beauty

of frost smothering

the dappled lips

of earth’s most

beautiful flower

because I love

flowers

even though

they die and I can’t

smell them

they’re one of

my favorite things

flowers are

what we need  

flowers sprouting in

your eyes

flowers growing in

the sky

flowers all over earth

Amen

 

—AND ALL OF THE OTHERS CANCEL OUT EACH OTHER AND IT’S ALWAYS YOU LEFT

 

 

Couldn’t Care Less

 

thought I was

doing so well

but I’m still

swimming in circles

can’t out-churn the sharks

or turn down these voices

squirming in my head

might be better off dead

and yes I do

remember precisely

what was said

don’t say that

  you said

don’t say that

  I said

don’t say don’t

  we both said

still the desolate water

keeps on lapping

spiders on the panes

are knitting their breath

with eight pinched feet-fingers

looks like a question

without an answer

now that’s symbolism

that can’t pull the trigger

and isn’t that how it goes

the gullible undertow

how I whisper

come and pull me down

pull me under

I’m only floating

here for you

thought I was hanging okay

but then I saw the way

I demolished each day

like a glutton

shit leaking outta

his eyes and ears

oh did you hear

(...) passed yeah

and the world’s

burning up fast

I can smell the

smoke on your

left lash

chalky gray-black ash taste

and I can’t smell a thing

which can only mean

that wave’s got

my name on it

and I’ll own it

and I’m actually

okay with it