--YOU GOTTA LOVE LIKE THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A BROKEN HEART
…Hey Friday, you sure got here in a hurry.
…Over the week, I kept getting offers to better my life. The only thing is I don’t think the senders know much about my life.
Here are some actual emails (headers) that came my way:
BECOME PREGNANT WITH OUR SPECIAL CHINESE FORMULA!
BUILD AWESOME FURNITURE YOURSELF!
LEARN THE PIANO IN JUST MINUTES A DAY!
TEACHING YOURSELF THE GUITAR IS AS EASY AS FLOSSING YOUR TEETH!
REGROW YOUR HAIR IN JUST 60 DAYS!
BUILD THE ULTIMATE CHICKEN COOP!
BUILD YOUR OWN MODEL TRAIN SET!
BECOME A SEDUCTION SPECIALIST! GET WOMEN TO WANT YOU IN THE WINK OF AN EYE!!!
WANT THAT TATTOO GONE? NO PROBLEM!
LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CAT!
THINK YOU’RE FAT? YOU MIGHT JUST BE BLOATED! TRY OUR SPECIAL BELLY-FLATTENING REMEDY TODAY!
DISCOVER THE SECRET “CAMP FIRE” EFFECT THAT DRAWS MEN TO YOU!
..Lastly, this was one of the more bizarre news stories I’ve read. Seems kind of amazing. Have a wonderful weekend:
...A police officer driving near the waterfront in Corpus Christi, Tex., Wednesday afternoon was waved down and given an unusual tip: an ATM was dispensing handwritten notes scribbled with an existential appeal — “please help.”
It had to be a joke, the responding officers believed. A Bank of America ATM pitting emergency notes with cash and receipts sounded like an absurdly constructed plot of a gotcha live television show. Then the machine starting talking.
“Sure enough, we can hear a little voice coming from the machine,” Corpus Christi police officer Richard Olden said.
The officer kicked down the door to reveal the author of the notes. A man, hidden behind the machine, was locked in the service room that housed the ATM. He began scribbling notes to the outside world in an analog version of The Wizard of Oz bellowing from behind a curtain.
The man was there to repair a door lock, which got the better of him, Corpus Christi police spokesman Lt. Chris Hooper told The Washington Post. The contractor, whose name and company were not released, had left his phone and a device needed to open the door from the inside.
The repairman wrote “several” pleas for help to people using the drive-through ATM, but it’s unknown how many notes were passed on to citizens. One note collected by a local news station read: “Please help. I’m stuck in here, and I don’t have my phone. Please call my boss,” with the number written below.
Police freed the man, but since there was no crime committed, details and records are slim, Hooper said. Officers on the scene said they believed the man was trapped for two hours.