Friday, January 1, 2016

…Happy New Year.  I hope it’s your best one yet.
Have you made your New Year’s Resolutions?  I have, but they’re more or less the same as last year:
1.      Get an agent
2.      Get novel published
3.      Get to 1,000 stories/poems accepted by year end
4.      Average 25 miles run per week
5.      Read 100 books
6.      Write 2,000 at least every day
…I was the featured poet at Poetry Super Highway with some poems I wrote when I was in a bad place after my dad died last year, my brother following him a week later:
…And I had a story published here on page 42 of the December issue:
…Funny Facebook friends had this to say last week:
-I just learned (from the internet so it must be true!) that the cells in your gums and labia can absorb nicotine, drugs and alcohol-- basically any drug that you can ingest. Which of course makes me wonder whether I should just be pouring manhattans down my pants now.
 -Things I've learned in the last 10 hrs:
1) I will scream "where's the damn tape?" At least 20 times before I can get just one last gift wrapped. 
2) 5 yr olds will tell you things that you probably shouldn't know.
3.) there’s a full moon tonight, as if family and alcohol isn’t enough.
4.) never shop under the influence, though in my defense it was on sale
5.) when everyone knows you’re a nurse they think it’s okay to describe their last colonoscopy to me.
Thank god the liquor stores are open tomorrow
 -I have a house full of family, some from out of town and some that just wandered I'm looking for my happy place, somewhere between I can't remember your name and my head in the toilet.
-I love it when he grabs me and pushes me up against the wall and whispers in my ear..."here's the Visa, go buy new shoes"!!* god I love it when he talks dirty to me
 -"I literally have like one skill -- I can be rude as fuck"

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