Wednesday, May 28, 2014


...I stayed up way too late.  When did one o’clock get to be too late?  Oh, yeah, after I got old.

…Would someone please stop Adam Sandler from making any more movies?  Really, just please stop.  His latest scored a 15% favorable rating from critics while fans gave it an A-.

.So here are more witticisms (I wish I was so witty) from Facebook friends over the lest many days:
 -Hottie in the next lane over.
Oh wait,
Baby seat.
I'm out.

-i got the skills
(what skills?)
to ignore the bills

-Dear Editor,
That was my bad. I read a few bits of your journal, saw that you only published complete bullshit, and submitted anyway.

-I like the idea of people either loosening or tightening their tinfoil hats.
-As I was bending over to put some of the groceries I'd purchased for my Mom in the cupboard at her place, she said, "YOU have a VERY sexy behind." I told her I was going to have to shop for her more often. Moms are fun.
-As I was leaving this morning, Eden said half asleep, "dad take pictures of cute puppies if you see them." Things kids think of at 2am
-Me: I don't like running out of coffee.
Student: Me, either. I hate it. I get really butt hurt.
Me (pause): I think you're drinking it wrong.
-Why is everyone texting me as though I am someone else? Yesterday, someone texted me and it said: Hello Suzanne, how is your father?
-listening to bone thugz & harmony in a church parking lot, feeling pretty spiritual
-Back in East L.A. where the ice-cream truck is spouting the sweet sounds of "Sexual Healing."
-I am so excited. I just had an invitation to "connect privately" with a woman named Bacon Joy. I kid you not. MY weekend is going well.
-forgot about hickeys until i saw a chick with her neck covered in hickeys, now can't stop thinking about hickeys.
-Jay: Would you eat human flesh if you were starving?
Me: Yep, I sure would.

Jay: Like me, if I was dead? Would you eat me?

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