--MAKE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL BEFORE YOU ARE DEAD
…It’s Friday and I think some of my Facebook friends are pretty funny.
Here’s what a few of them had to say:
-i want to meet the guy who is driving around south philly in a white truck with a gold-trimmed vanity plate that says BUFFMAN and a pair of shiny blue balls hanging off the back.
-Does anyone else have to constantly replace leggings because they rip on their upper thigh coming dangerously close to exposing their vagina?
-I was into Panic! At the Disco, until I discovered Zoloft! At the Pharmacy.
-In first grade, deprived of such delicacies, I stole a classmate's hostess snowballs from her lunch, got away with it, and have felt guilty ever since.
negative people are so fucking funny.
-Someone just challenged me to "No Drink December." I interpret this as someone wanting me dead.
-Spending the night in a creepy three-story building -- an empty college dormitory -- and I am the only human being in here.
-Pass the flask and close the tab.
-"Yes, fucker, I'll have the crispy quail."
-overworked. sleep-deprived. soft-hearted.
-you can't farm death when you're still buried in the dinosaur heart of time.
-These GU energy gels are great. I think I'm going to start hitting one before I preach.
-i'm not doing this to get attention. i just wanna know. am i pretty?
I hope I get through airport security with all of this poetry in my suitcase...
Serial Killer tip #1: Keep all the dead bodies on Myspace.
Where but in Seattle can you hire a man with a herd of goats to clear a city hillside of unwanted vegetation?
repaired my shoe sole with shoe glue. in the process i lost a sock. good glue.
-Dear Rand Paul you carpetbagging boil-tick on the ass of idiocy…
-if there's anything on facebook i cant stand, it's most of you