Saturday, October 15, 2011


--PUT YOUR HOSTAGE IN DANGER

…I know, I know: I never talked about Vegas.
It's not because bad things happened or because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (In fact, there was a huge billboard that said this:
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS DOESN'T ALWAYS STAY IN VEGAS
Free STD screening. Call today!)
And don't worry--nothing like the above inference happened.
Let's just say it was FUN. Fun is really fun. If you're on short supply of fun, as I'd been, getting your fun on is a down right blast.
Laughing until you cry is fun.
Laughing until your guts ache is fun.
Picking on a friend or being picked on by a friend is fun.
Stumbling around down the halls is even a bit of a kick, provided you have a support system.
--In Vegas we ate very good food and drank fine wine and bought greyhounds and used screwdrivers.
We sat at the pool and the sports bar.
We gambled. I won a net of $500, a first in a long time of going to Vegas.
--At LAX on the way back I saw Rick Ocazek, lead singer of The Cars. He looked the same: a black-haired, pasty-looking Praying Mantis wearing guy-liner. No one seemed to recognize him, maybe because he was with his blonde-haired son, who clearly got Paulina's genes.
--LAX is a pain is the buttocks. I hate that airport. Hate it more than Newark, which is saying a lot. I had to switch terminals there and made my connection flight by the skin of my teeth, by the skin of my foreskin. It's no fun getting on a boiling hot plane when you're already sweaty from running.
But that's the price you pay for fun.
--During my connecting and layover time I read two books:
Donald Ray Pollock's "The Devil All the Time," is a twisted, violent affair, with four sets of characters on a course for the inevitable cataclysm. It became a page-turning addiction near the end. I'd give it 3 1/2 stars.
--The other book was "Long Drive Home," by Will Allison. This novel is a romp. Definitely a page turner, written in spare English with little to no description beyond the basic. But you get hooked very quickly. Halfway through I literally could not put it down. Swallowed the thing whole. You will, too. Get it.

…Yesterday I wrote a story. I’ve been working on the novel (almost halfway now) so this is the first one I’ve written in some time.
It was a strange story about this obsessed guy who takes out his ex’s ponytail and, well, does things with it.
No, nothing kinky or sexual.
It’s magic realism and kind of fun, as well, (I think) funny. Maybe I’ll post it some time.

…Here is something I like on a very foggy day in Seattle:

"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; ... - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, don't spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, do nothing." -- Coleen Hamilton

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