—AM ALL THE WAY OVER THE PAIN? NOT YET, BUT THE SUN KEEPS COMING UP, BABY, AND I’M STILL BREATHING

 

 

Reap

 

Time, on your tongue, must taste like acid, or arsenic, as you slow-swirl it in a bitter glob across your molars. It’d be okay, if it wasn’t creative non-fiction. We’ve only months and weeks left, yet you keep punching holes into everything until it all seems fabricated, like a toupee, Gulliver’s Travels, or a trapdoor with an itchy spring under the rug. 

But didn’t I kiss you like the world was formed just for us? And didn’t you kiss me back with a tremor in your throat? Didn’t that all matter more than any kiss, more than what we’re both regretting now, as The Reaper takes two steps forward?

 

 —THE BOOK OF LOVE IS LONG AND BORING 

 

saved

 

it’s a little bit of bliss 

spooning while hail hits the roof like

ten thousand caffeinated woodpeckers 

and look at us we’re nineteen or ninety-nine 

and your skin still shimmies and whispers

as it did when it first hit my lips and oooh it

makes me want to sing you the book of love

makes me want to make up for all my failures

makes me want to copyright your too-long

chin your smile and moxie

just look at us our sad skins sagging so tender together 

our silly squabbles drawing us to center 

the groans and destress getting dressed 

a matter for another day time and year

so why should we not fold in the crescent moon tonight

i’ll hold you as close as i ever have 

your heart beating against my chest like 

a carrier pigeon baring a note 

that’s meant to be read savored and saved

 —HONESTY, IS SUCH A LONELY WORD

 

  

Heartstopper

 

 

Everything without you is just awful.

 

Do you ever feel like you’re doing things just because everyone else does it?

 

I was born to kill aliens.

 

It worked for a while, until I just wanted to die.

 

Maybe I’m over-thinking it.

 

Maybe I just do ruin other people’s lives.

 

I get it; it’s just me.

 

Sometimes the loneliness is just absurd.

 

I’m just, I’m just sorry.

 

I should have been looking out for you.

 

I blurted out “yes” because I didn’t know how to say “no.”

 

I wish I would have met you when I was younger.

 

It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.

But you just saw me.

 

There’s no crying, because this is my birthday.

 

You don’t have to figure it all out right now.

 

It’s a good suggestion, though.

My life's way better because I met you. You're my favorite person.

 

Kissing you was one of the main things on my list.

 

Can we talk about something else?

 

Can I kiss you here, right now?

Yes, please.

 

This is one of my best days ever.

 

—FUNNY, BUT IT SEEMS THAT IT’S THE ONLY THING TO DO

  

Colony

  

He’d run out of people to trust, even himself, a boy moon-pale and skittish, the walls between rooms in their home cut so thin it was like being in a single chamber of circus chaos, calamity and danger, but the rabbits outside, they were trusting sorts, famished for not only food, but any kind of sustenance or attention, and what began as a few spare leaves nibbled down on afternoons turned into a ritual of mutual respect, the boy and these animals, so curious they were with their questions about what it was like to be human and free and so utterly rich without even knowing it, and after some months had passed the boy asked his own questions and the rabbits answered what they could, and when he asked if he could be one of them, the bunnies tittered until they understood he meant it, and the bravest of the colony took the boy’s hand, took him to the opening of the hole out back in the vast meadow, asked, “Can you see yourself down there forever?” and without answering, the boy slid down the hole, his laughter echoing back to them, booming with so much joy that the rabbits began to dance.

 

—WHEN IT HURTS THIS BAD, YOU KNOW IT MATTERS

 

“Music is probably the only real magic I have encountered in my life. There’s not some trick involved with it. It’s pure and it’s real. It moves, it heals, it communicates and does all these incredible things.” Tom Petty 

 

“The opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression.” Stuart Brown

 

“Help is the sunny side of control.” Anne Lamott 

  

“Around us, life bursts with miracles—a glass of water, a ray of sunshine, a leaf, a caterpillar, a flower, laughter, raindrops. If you live in awareness, it is easy to see miracles everywhere. Each human being is a multiplicity of miracles. Eyes that see thousands of colors, shapes, and forms; ears that hear a bee flying or a thunderclap…..When we are tired and feel discouraged by life’s daily struggles, we may not notice these miracles, but they are always there.” Madeleine L’Engle

  

“It’s scary to live with uncertainty, to live without closure or conclusion." Ryan Meeks

 

“You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” Mary Oliver

 

“I think if you’re really honest with yourself, life usually gives you what you want.” HIMYM

 

When I began to listen to poetry, it's when I began to listen to the stones, and I began to listen to what the clouds had to say, and I began to listen to others. And I think, most importantly for all of us, then you begin to learn to listen to the soul, the soul of yourself in here, which is also the soul of everyone else.
—Joy Harjo

 

“It costs $0.00 to remind someone they aren’t alone in this world.” Robyn Field

 

“Children are the light at the end of the tunnel. Even when parenting feels like the long dark tunnel, they are the light.” Aaron Giblreath

"I've seen and met angels wearing the disguise of ordinary people living ordinary lives." Tracy Chapman

“Write as thought nobody’s watching, because nobody’s watching.” Dan Brown

 

“It’s easy to latch onto the answer.” Ryan Meeks

 

—YOUR GUITAR, IT SOUNDS SO SWEET AND CLEAR

 

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

 

this despair wears

slow skates 

carving circles from its 

own gutted gloom 

I ogle like a 

toddler transfixed 

or a rabid zombie

until it makes me 

so dizzy I puke up

scarves of chartreuse

there’s no baby and

no twins and no you

I knew that yesterday

knew that today

it’s tomorrow that

wants me dead

because the sun’s

supposed to be shining

bright and lofty

covering every free 

speck of earth like

the color of grace

 

—HAVEN’T WE BOTH GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO?

  

…“We laugh when we have cried enough.” Sally Reno

 

…Concede nothing. But reject nothing either. Just listen, and maybe we’ll all get along a little better.

 

…We live in the best times ever, no matter what the naysayers say.

 

…Things are never as simple as they seem to the other person who’s not in the situation.

 

…Sometimes one of the best things you can do to cheer yourself up is to pretend.

 

…Sometimes I drink in secret, and sometimes it’s not a secret at all.

 

…“I came out at a time where there we 12 blondes on my label. I was like, ‘Okay, here we go—Bitch better stand out somehow.” Miranda Lambert

 

…No matter what happens today, someone’s out there, crushing grapes, turning them into wine.

 

…I could drink a case of you and still be on my feet.

 

…Sometimes you’re a slave to the letters, and other times the letters do the enslaving.

 

…I always get nervous when I see a locked door.

 

…“The stage is empty. How do you fill it? With music.” Max Ritvo

 

…It’s only complicated if you think it is.

 

…None of us ever make it to the end.

 

…A group of rhinos is called a “crash.”

 

…A sneeze ravels out of your mouth at over 100mph.

 

…Some days the demons win. But if you wake up, there’s always tomorrow.

 

…I don’t think we’re going to be able to figure this out without some help.

 

…Try the tangerines. They’re delicious.

 

…I had no idea this was even possible.

 

…You’re right: Being sorry doesn’t really do any good.

 

“—Something’s wrong with you.”

“—I know, but I’m working on it.”

“—How hard?”

“—What’s your definition of hard?”

 

…What I usually get is, “Wow, that’s really fucking dark.”

 

…“What is the point of life, if everything you want to do is bad for you?” Ozark

 

…“There’s nothing lonelier than a party.” BoJack Horseman

 

…“I don’t hate you, but it would be so much easier if I did.” Sex Education

 

…“Good for you. All I learned from my parents was breaking and entering.” Ozark

 

…I’ve got a journal of bad dreams you’d rather not read about.

  

…You and me could write a bad romance.

 

…“Express everything you like. No word can hurt you. Not being able to express an idea or word will hurt you more. Like a bullet.” Jamaica Kincaid

 

…I’m a neat person. I like things orderly. However, for some reason, that doesn’t apply to my office. Hence, I spent the week cleaning it and weeding through mounds of books and way, way, more mounds scribbles on pages that I must have once thought were good lines for a piece, but now seem, well, just insipid.

It’s messed with my confidence, for sure.

 

…Apparently, I spend a lot of time writing about the moon, and without using the right words.

 

…Everything beautiful wants to die in a hurry. 

 

…You want my advice? Don’t take my advice.

 

…Ain’t no doubt about it, we were doubly blessed.

 

…“Love doesn’t keep score.” Marty Byrd

 

…If you’re right about that karma stuff, I have a great week coming to me.

 

…Sorry, but what was the question again?