—YOU BETTER BE LIGHTNING

 

 

https://www.bloodhoneylit.com/poetry/kuntz-two-poems

 

…There is only so much love can do.

 

…It’s like a miracle when a miracle happens.

 

…Sometimes it just feels good to have a cry.

 

…Apparently, I couldn’t get aligned properly.

 

…Some things are never easy to admit.

 

…“When you are dying, at least in my limited experience, you start remembering everything.” Tatiana Scholssberg.

 

…So why was that a good idea?

 

…The closer I got, the farther it pushed me away.

 

…I’ve seen things that just aren’t there.

 

…Spent a lot of lonely nights trying to stitch my scars.

 

…You don’t forget certain moments.

 

...The thing you always have to remind yourself of is---you never know.

 

…Just give me someone I can trust, and I’ll be with you until the end.

 

…911, what your emergency?

 

…I might be experiencing technical difficulty.

 

…I think God must be trying to tell me something.

 

…I keep thinking there’s a dog nearby, who’s going to jump up when I get up, but there isn’t one.

 

…Sometimes I get too angry at myself, by myself, and so it goes nowhere.

 

…Wow, well, that was a day.

 

…That’s probably all I wanted, though I wanted more.

 

...What’s the point of my life at this point?

 

…Whole lot of woulda, coulda, shouda can’t help me now.

 

…It’s a pretty brutal existence, just waiting for a reply, but it’s better than waiting for death.

 

…Believe it or not, that’s what I meant.

 

…Nobody could tell me, I had to find out for myself. 

 

…Oy yeah, we got that down. Verbatim.

 

…I wonder what you were like then.

 

...Dreams are never really gone if someone’s dreaming with you.

 

…It’s always difficult when the example doesn’t work.

 

…Throw me a rope, Somebody, please?

 

…If you’re actually texting people at 4am, and they’re texting you back, that something special. 

 

…This doesn’t exactly feel right, but it feels necessary. 

 

…I think I have to stop manifesting things.

 

.,,,Even when I’m weak, I’m still going to try to win.

 

…I hate reading through my junk mail, (who doesn’t?  or who does?) but when you’re a writer, it’s kind or paramount.  

 

…You can just drop that off right there, thank you.

 

…Is that all you want to take from me?

 

…What’s wrong with this picture?

 

…Subtly is pretty important.

 

…I guess I just don’t want to be one of those people who is totally full of shit, where everyone knows it but me.

 

…Yeah, but there’s nobody there.

 

…Why am I even in this picture?

 

…You’re out there living your best life (yay) and I’m here about to live my next and last life.

 

…There’s really something wonderful about being awake at 3am when no one else is. It’s one of those things you’d have to experience to understand.

 

…Is that a good question? Because I think it was a good question.

 

…Should you, or I be concerned right now? 

 

…Yeah, I know. I’ve seen this movie before as well.

 

…You can’t second-guess a second-guess, can you?

 

…I’ll double-check, but I’m pretty sure nothing’s changed.

 

…How many times can you say, “I give” before it’s the last one?

 

…It’s only funny if you think it is.

 

…This is stupid. I mean, isn’t this stupid?

 

…Fruit was something we didn’t eat when I was a kid, unless you were out in the fields picking it. I recall stuffing my mouth with gobs of pie cherries that were probably sprayed with all kinds of toxic things, because they tasted so bitter, but there they were, in my mouth. 

 

…Don’t make it a thing: Love who you love, and everyone else can Fuck off.

 

…How is this even going to work?

 

…I keep saying last time twenty-five times. Do other people do that? I have no idea.

 

…Of course, I always wanted to be popular, because I was anything but, but then I was popular and now that’s one of the least priorities in my life, so long as the people I love know how much I love them. If that’s popular, I’ll take, if not, I’m good.

 

… "In the end, everyone is aware of this: nobody keeps any of what he has, and life is only a borrowing of bones." Pablo Neruda 

 

…I no longer correct my typos in texts. I hate them, but they’re a part of the deal, especially, with hypertext.

 

…In the meantime, what happened to you that was really important? 

 

…That cannot be that, can it?

 

…Memory is so important, but it’s faulty. Some of those things happened just like that, just like you remembered them, but some didn’t at all.

 

…One of the great joys of life is discovering new music, a new artist.

 

…“I wake up some mornings and have my coffee and look at my beautiful garden and I go, ‘Remember how good this is, because you can lose it’.” Jim Carrey

 

--LOOKED AT YOUR PICTURE AND CRIED LIKE A BABY

 

Shifting Stars

 

Stars are shifting 

as we sit on the barn roof 

at midnight, a bottle of

half-empty clear dangling 

between our knees 

like another bad decision.

 

Grandpa plowed the east field 

but all we can see is dark on dark.

Uncle Tripp worked the west end 

where it’s darkest and there’s no escape, 

only dry rot, stooped gullies and cattle carcasses.

 

But right here, right now,

the stars are all line dancing 

like giddy drunks at a tavern,

and the moon’s wearing a 

shit-eating grin and we’re safe 

and I’m the big brother I was 

always supposed to be and 

you’re not quite the girl you’re 

going to be yet, but I can tell you this: 

you’re gonna be a freed woman,

clacking her heels on NYC sidewalk

looking past the scrapers and neon,

blowing a kiss to the very same moon 

you and I are staring at right now.

 

—THE MORNING’S GOT ME ON THE ROPES AGAIN

 

Enjambment

I wake up enjambed, but don’t even know what that means, like an artifact without a date, and still you kiss me dutifully on my dry scalp, like a tulip tipping toward dew it doesn’t need, as the sun comes up, just as it’s supposed to, and then you shower, pomade and spritz, as usual, and the day goes on, and goes on again, like a run-on sentence that fills up an entire blank page no one ever reads.  

—I WISH I KNEW THEN, WHAT I KNOW NOW 

 

…Fucking Fuck that guy.

 

…“Writing needs to take a risk, or it’s not worth a damn.” Dorothy Allison

 

…I’ll be there soon. I promise.

 

…How can you be a country that bans books but not guns unless there’s something intrinsically wrong with you?

 

…No wonder why my hands shake.

 

…But keep up those balance classes, Bllll!!!

 

…You don’t want to be attached to something you’re attached to, if you know it’s all messed up.

 

…It’s probably always a good idea to stop admiring yourself.

 

…It’s okay, you’re okay.

 

…Yeah, no, it’s not like that at all. This was different. This was special.

 

…I sure hope that’s just temporary or there’ll be trouble.

 

…That could be me. Maybe it is me, and I just need to take a closer look.

 

…I guess we’re all hypocrites in one way or another, whether we know it or have the guts to admit it. 

 

…Put some more words together. That’s a good distraction.

 

 

                                              “No, thanks, I stay energized with perpetual anxiety.”

…But some of us don’t forget it.

 

…This is the time to take two steps back, but you have to realize it first.

 

...I’m not as sad as I seem. 

 

…I think the screen puts ten pounds on me, or so I’ve heard.

 

…You better save that, because no one else is going to.

 

…Well, that’s good.

 

…Yeah, it’s probably time.

 

…I don’t get how people, friends, call me, “Sir,” when I’m their own age.

 

…In the words of Roberto Duran, “No mas.”

 

…The thing is, you’re always choosing and it’s not always easy to choose the right one.

 

…Was that just a song you were sharing, or was that a message?

 

…Chapter and Verse, I guess that means beginning to end, right?

 

…If this is the hard part, you’ve got it pretty good.

 

… “They’re like ride-or-die Seattle, and it’s super awesome to be a part of.” Josh Naylor

 

…Hey, Patterson, why are you even still up right now? Go get your mouth guard.

 

…What kind of country is this when someone can say to a reporter on air, “Quiet. Quiet, Piggy.” What kind of country is this when the person saying that is the President of The United States?

 

…What kind of country is this when the President of the United States says, “Stuff happens,” about the dismemberment of an American journalist” while praising Prince Mohammed bin Salman, who masterminded the journalist’s killing?

 

…What kind of country is this anymore? Please tell me, because I don’t fucking know.

 

…(and this was just one day.)

 

…How is that okay?

 

…“I would like to paint the way a bird sings.”  Claude Monet

 

…I don’t know, can be a really honest answer.

 

…Screw you, heart, I thought you were always supposed to be there for me.

 

…In the words of Kenny Loggins, “This is it, make no mistake where you are.” 

 

…What’re you actually trying to achieve here?

 

…I’m still waiting and believing, even if I’m not sure I want to.

 

…I’m fairly good at comforting myself but I’m especially good at scaring myself.

 

…I reminded myself that I need to think about people in wheelchairs when I thought I needed to be in a hurry.

 

…“The mere sense of living is joy enough.” Emily Dickinson

 

…I think what matters most is the trying, the effort.

 

…I always thought that dying would be easier if we all died at the same time.

 

…Thank you for that. It felt like someone kissing a wound to make it feel better.

 

…I just want to have a body. I don’t care what it looks like.

 

…Is it strength or imagination that gets you through? I only have one of those that’s worth a damn.

 

…Turn out the lights, the party’s over. They say that all, good things must end…

 

…“I think there’s a fear of feeling guilty about taking care of yourself.” Andrea Gibson

 

…Sometimes the best nights start in the morning.

 

…I said I was trying, I didn’t say I was getting there. 

 

…You don’t have to be a Dick. No one does.

 

...We should probably talk about timing, how timing is everything.

 

…It’s a dance and a balance on the tightrope, right?