—I GUESS I KINDA LIKE THE WAY YOU NUMB ALL THE PAIN

 

 

…This gave me a pretty good sob…

https://deadline.com/2023/06/glastonbury-lewis-capaldi-thanks-crowd-helping-him-someone-you-loved-tourettes-syndrome-1235424051/

I actually had half a dozen sobs over it before the day even turned to noon.

 

…I woke up on my birthday to learn I was $1.69 richer. Yay! More royalties from, THIS IS ME, BEING BRAVE (As you know, I’m only doing this writing thing for the money):

Bequem Publishing sent you $1.69 USD Note from Bequem Publishing: author royalties (inc. Kindle) Transaction Details Transaction ID 4G691217151263127 Transaction date June 25, 2023 Amount $1.69 USD Don't see the money in your account? Don't worry -- sometimes it just takes a few minutes for it to show up.

  …My birthday was Monday. I’ve spoken in the past about coming around to appreciate, and even look forward to, that landmark day, So, this time around, when it arrived, I embraced her like an old friend I hadn’t seen in years.

 

…Speaking of old friends, that photo above is me and my buddy, Jim Cippolla. I was 25, Jim a few years older. We were buyers who had landed in London on our way to Ireland. The airport had lost my luggage (it’s one of the loneliest feelings, watching that carousel do an empty, slow twirl after every other passenger has picked up their luggage but you) and so for the first three days I wore Jim’s clothes (note the super long tie and blousy shirt). Flying to Europe was my second airplane ride ever. I was scared as hell, but completely exhilarated.

 

...I think you discover how much you mean to someone by how they respond to your birthday, the things they write, how authentic they are. Even if they’re telling you, it’s how they say it. In this case, the show in “Show, don’t tell” is very much in the telling.

 

…”I hope you have a fantastic day. Sending you a BIG bear hug! You mean the world to me! I miss you, my friend” That’s a “Tell,” but it’s also a big “Show” and I’ll take it.

 

…Same with this: “Also, happy birthday! Live it up!!! Thank you for being my biggest supporter throughout my life. You mean the world to me!”

 

…This is day 17 without a drop of alcohol. Drip, drip, drip.

 

…This has been stuck in my head since Monday morning:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-wHixgp2RE

 

…If I could travel back in time 54 years, I wonder what I’d do differently, and how that would change everything that came afterwards. I mean, what would I even write about?

 

…Book number six, Things I Can’t Even Tell Myself, is due out within a month. What, what?

 

…If I could be as cool as Harrison Ford is when I’m 80, I’d take it in a heartbeat.

 

…I love Forensic Files and Dateline. On an episode of the latter the other night, I was convinced (along with the jury) that this couple was guilty of a brutal murder. They most certainly would have been convicted if, at the last minute, a witness hadn’t come forward to prove otherwise. I felt terrible afterwards. I still feel bad. I would have sent two innocent people to prison for life. It really rocked my way of thinking, about what it should require to find someone guilty.

 

…I used to despise them, but now I’ve come around to loving crows. They’re fascinating and my fourth favorite animal.

 

…One of the best things about spending a lot of time alone is you can have a raucous mini concert in your office whenever the fuck you want, as loud as you want.

 

…It’s a wonder outside this window. It’s sunny and beautiful, and a good day to be alive.