—I START OFF SLOW, BUT I GET THERE QUICK, BUILD IT UP, BRICK BY BRICK

 

 

…This baby is about to have a birthday a month from now.

Here are some outtakes… 

 

  

“There are things about my childhood that I’ve never told anyone. Not even a therapist.”

 

“It’s tricky when you can’t trust your mother, and even trickier when you’re a child. It’s a bit like not knowing if the air you’re breathing is clean or toxic, if your food might be contaminated.”

 

“Sometimes it seems like alcohol has always been a part of my life, though really, I didn’t have my first drink until age nine.”

 

“A friend once told me I have trust issues. They had no idea how right they were.”

 

“The strongest relationships I have are with people who make me feel safe. Who take me as I am—broken, flawed, and all.”

 

“A few weeks ago, my daughter and I sobbed watching a documentary about child abuse, and now I appreciate the notion that we could do that, cry unabashedly over something we’ve both been through.”

 

“When I was in fourth grade, a bully at school used to taunt me. Being gangly, shy and basically friendless, I was easy prey.” 

 

“And the thing is, when Depression hits, I know what to do. Call someone. Get out of the chair. Move. Turn on the lights. (For God’s sake, turn on the lights.)

Yet I don’t do any of those things.”

 

“Here’s a fact—it’s actually pretty easy to say you love someone. People do it all the time. But proving you love someone is a lot more difficult.”

 

“I haven’t necessarily been counting, yet I know it’s been sixteen hours and thirteen minutes since I last cried.”

 

“Death does that to people it hasn’t yet taken. It leaves them rattled, confused and ineffective. It steals their sense of clarity, their hope, and it’s not their fault.”  

 

“Loneliness is a trick your mind plays on you. It’s crafty and insidious, and it doesn’t like to lose.” 

 

“The thing about wonder, or rather our sense of wonder, is we usually start to lose it right around the time we’re shedding the last of our baby teeth.”

 

“I was lucky. I discovered books at a young age. In some respects, they saved my life.”

 

“A crushed heart or bruised ego is almost due to a rebuff of some sort.”

 

“I have also been spurned by someone I loved, or thought I loved (I was seventeen). It made me feel ugly and pointless.”

 

”What I’ve found is that everyone is starving for affection. Everyone wants to be affirmed, to know that they matter, that what they do is special, and that someone actually notices.”

 

“I have a gaggle of writers I’ve chosen as mentors. I don’t just read their work, I study it, tear it apart, question it, compare and contrast it with things I’ve tried in my own writing. I’m always learning, and they’re always teaching me, unbeknownst to them.”

 

“When you miss someone, your heart turns into something like a sunflower, bending toward the light it cannot directly reach. It’s a futile yearning. You wonder if the other person is feeling similar to yourself. You wonder when you’ll see them again. You wonder if they’re sleeping well. If they’re healthy. If they’ve laughed today or seen a butterfly.”

 

“The stark truth is, love’s a choice, not an emotion.”

 

“The truth is, love can be a little ugly. Suddenly there’s morning breath, flatulence you never noticed. There are mood swings. Selfish tendencies elbow their way in. Insecurities fray and unravel. It’s the same person you fell in love with, but now you’re seeing them un-Photoshopped.”

 

“People without pets often think those of us with them are nutty, starved for affection, likely barren, or socially inept. They may be partially correct on all accounts.”

 

“In those moments of togetherness, we are no longer awkward aliens, We sit across from each other, anxious to hear what the other thinks, and they readily tell us, and it feels like authentic kinship.” 

 

“The thing about forgiveness is, without it, we’d all be screwed.”

 

“It’s easy to hurt people. Even when you don’t mean to. Especially when you don’t mean to.”

 

“Without a sense of purpose and a spark of hope, all of us are wandering this earth aimlessly.”

 

“The worst thing that can happen to a parent is watching their child suffer. The only thing more horrible than that is not being able to do anything about it.”

 

“For some people, regardless of what the scale says when they’re on it, there’s the shame of weight, but there’s also the weight of shame.”

 

“Sometimes, in the shower, or on the couch dealing with a bout of insomnia, I’ll think of all the people I’ve hurt in my lifetime and it will make me feel despicable, like I’m a terrible person. A real piece of shit. Or worse. “

 

“The truth is, we live in a time of envy, and it’s not all our fault.”