Wednesday, September 2, 2015


…Hey, Wednesday, how’re you doing?
I’m okay.
I’ve been writing poetry instead of editing the novel.  That’s not good.  But today, today is the day I get focused on priorities.
Until then, here are some funny and/or interesting posts from Facebook friends of late:

-No, autocorrect, I don't mean gucking.
-I regret to inform you that yesterday morning at 4:23 AM, the screaming-sex neighbors returned with a vengeance. Now I have so many questions, chief among them: have they just not been having sex all these months?
-I'm tired of your problems, so hear mine: I'm broke. I have 2 kids w/ special needs. I haven't written poems in months and I have a wet dog.
-I wish I could see what I look like when I walk down the street. Maybe then I'd understand why psychics are always stopping me.
-If it wasn't for Facebook I would have never known how many experts there are on every single topic.
-Feel like I'm gonna puke hummingbirds.
-The internet is weird. Sometimes I forget that you don't all know me personally & understand that I am a multifaceted human being capable of both error and empathy. There's no room for mistakes, when you're reduced to a 100 x 100 profile picture, a list of likes & dislikes, links, & small snatches of conversation.  But hey, here I am, this is me--I screw up. I get angry. I say things in the heat of the moment. I listen. I consider. I reason. I am capable of great and terrible things. I have hurt people. I have hurt myself. Maybe I've even brought people joy, peace, and solace.  Sometimes, often even, I'm just a big goofy twat. & I'm painfully annoying on the regular. I do not have a brand. I do not have an image. Welcome to my big, unfiltered mess.
-You're driving around all lonely with your box of sci-fi and unused Magnum XL condoms and in a moment of despair you fling it in my yard. I get it, dude. Possession of a big wiener and knowledge of Star Trek episodes doesn't draw the ladies like in the good ol' days, but did you have to resort to littering to vent your impotent rage?

-I hate it when I'm on the eliptical and accidentally hit the "Stop" button and go to Chipotle and eat a burrito.
-It's my writing day, so of course I've washed all the dishes from last night's party, swept the patio, watered the orange trees and started making lunch. Nothing like a writing day.
-Had a hangover and a ghost encounter all in the same day
-You can find me on the corner of "hell yes I can do this" and "existential crisis."
-This post is dedicated to everyone that's going to need like a whole pot of coffee to get through Monday.

-Every time your phone dies you could too.

No comments:

Post a Comment