--I'VE GOT TROUBLES THAT I CAN'T HIDE
…How was your weekend? Mine was interesting.…On the treadmill this morning I ran to Gavin DeGraw’s latest album. It’s quite good.
…Hard rain is falling where I am. I like it.
…Below is a piece I wrote a long time ago when I was at my desk and looking across the lake at a house with i’s lights winking back at me.
Center and Fringe
I want you to lie to me.
I want you to pull my hair and threaten to leave me again, tell me every soiled thing you loathe about me but, later, do a paint-by-numbers watercolor on my chest, inserting a subliminal message between the stripes of a rainbow.
I want to cuddle with you on this bed of pine needles so scratchy we’d never be able to sleep, the frosty air cold enough to make our noses bleed, dribbling down our chins like scarlet fondue.
I want the taillights glowing rat-eyed across the lake to be your eyes, fascinated by me on this winter’s night. I want the cones of light reflected on the wafting water to be a cloud that morphs in undulation so that we can find new characters and objects in its wake, its center and fringes.
I want you to see what I see, the people who own that light and the house where that light glows, the ones that have been together since before the war against Germany. I saw them at Safeway yesterday. She was testing a melon with her gnarled thumb while the brittle little guy manned the cart, hunched, grinning like a very happy gnome.
I want our skins to spot and sag together. I want us to molt and refute what happened last weekend. I want magical powers, the ability to make you stay put, to cause that car to miss you, take a different corner, let you live.
I want to take it all back.