--I’M NOT FEELING TOO GOOD MYSELF

…Oh, my.  Here it goes.

…When I say I am slowing dying, ppl say, “Hey, don’t say that.”  But it’s true.  It is.  Isn’t it true for all of us, some more than the others?

…You are always so quick to assume it’s my fault.

…Wait, what are we talking about?

…The thing is, one person can’t know what another person is going through unless they see it firsthand.  Otherwise, it’s just all assumptions.

…“The shell must be broken before the bird can fly.”  Yeah, I guess that’s about right.

…I’ve pretty much tried to keep ppl from hitting the tires, but most of the time they miss and hit the wheels.

…There’s not a day, or morning, in the last month that I haven’t been up later that 3:30, waiting for the rooster to crow.  I live in the sticks, but I still haven’t seen that rooster yet.  I’m not complaining.  It’s just the way it is.

…Why do you keep drinking the water if you don’t like the taste of it?  I mean, there’s always diet Coke, or Cristal.

…It’s so easy to be sad.  I wish breathing were that simple.

…Something that’s hard to do is admit you’re ugly.  Not physically ugly, just ugly.  If you could hear me wheezing away, you wouldn’t need much help convincing me what I am.

…“I wish I knew now what I didn't know then.”  Well, yes and no.  Knowing would change everything, and then what would be the point?

…A guy shouldn’t be up at 2am every single morning.  Can’t be healthy.  Can’t be good for the soul.  But what do I know?

…You wouldn’t want to know all the stuff I write here that I delete before posting.  Trust me, you wouldn’t.

…“Please don’t bother.  I don’t care.”  Who wants to hear that hogwash?

…Some of us have journals, and some of us talk to ourselves.  Some of us do both in print, where everyone can see it, and think what they want to think.

…Amen.

…Amen means “So be it.”

…Hallelujah means “God be praised.”

…Ppl shouldn’t assume everyone knows what things mean.

…I don’t think I’m afraid of dying anymore.  I can’t pinkie swear that, but I don’t think I am.  It’s not like I’m prepared, yet I don’t think I’d be that sad or surprised if it happened today.

…“All these pieces, broken and scattered…”

…Maybe that’s a good way to end it, with silence and me the asshole.  Yeah, I think so.

…All of life is worship, and everyone worships something, or someone.

…“The book of love has music in it…It’s full of love and heart shaped boxes, and things we’re all too young to know.”

…But, again, what do I know?

…Dear God.  I’d like to talk to you without asking for something for once.  I’d ask you for help with that, but then I’d be asking you for something again.  See the dilemma?