—YEAH, I’M MOVIN’ PRETTY FAST, MOVIN’ PRETTY FAST FOR ME

 

...Can you let me have a moment, please? 

...Yesterday was a day, and then some.

...At least I don't need to workout today. Or maybe ever again.

...This is why life matters-- Thnx Big Bro .. will do.. life , Roller Coaster, not Merry Go Round! Love you too man ill keep u posted Night.

 

...It looks like you’ve been up for a while, for a really long time, and I have, too.

 

…Don’t talk shit, that’s just embarrassing.

…You can read a lot in the white space if you look close enough, but it’s not always advisable. 

…Karma’s just a different word for bad luck.

…Shouldn’t everyone write their own lyrics? But then, what about Sinatra? What about Elvis?

…You only get so many moments. They’re like wild fish flapping in your palms for air.

…Someone told me that “August is the easiest month to reset.” I still don’t believe them.

…Like any kid, it took me a while to get that a lot of people are liars. Like my parents. Like my mom, especially.

…I’m always going to root for the 70’s. I just am.

…I just realized I’m spending way too much time on this. Do you ever do that? Go, what the fuck, I just wasted ----?”

…“The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t.” The Joker

…One thing I learned this week is that bison and buffalo are not the same animal. What we think are buffalo in North America are actually bison. Buffalo are only found in Africa and Asia.  

…You probably shouldn’t play “Against the Grain” too much, this early, in the morning. The background voices start to sound like they’re actually talking to you.

…I’m really glad you’re asleep right now, and I'm sorry I’m not.

 

…Maybe we should just go on a long walk.

…“Yeah, sure. It’s pretty easy to use the glue when you’re not the guy who had to kill the horse.” Everybody Loves Raymond

…You sure know how to beat a metaphor to death.

…Last night, while trying to fall, and stay asleep, I must have run into a dozen different things, none of which I wanted to collide with.  

…You’re only happiest as your unhappy child. That’s a very true story.

…Okay, I swear to God, this is my last listen of this song.

...I don't know why it does that, but it does that sometimes. 

...“Nobody starts out saying: I’m gonna be honest with you…And then finishes it with: I really do still love you madly.” Benjamin Drevlow

…How did I get here? I wonder that every day.

…There aren’t many things better than watching young people in love trying to figure it all out.

…You can’t take back what’s been done. No one can. All you can do is move forward and try to do better.

…Maybe Heaven is a ghetto with no bad blocks.

…The reality is, sometimes you just get bad letters and there’s nothing you can do about it.

 …Don’t ever piss off a hacker or you’ll be sorry. 

…The good thing about hair is it grows back.

…Asking Dr. Fauci to testify, and then trying to vilify him, find him in contempt, jail him, is akin to putting Jesus on the stand. He wasn’t Jesus, I’m not saying that—but he was Christlike—he was saving LIVES. What in the fucking fuck is wrong with you?

 …Aside from e v e r y t h i n g else, let’s take a gander at a different topic, though these are just a few points, of MANY… 

…Trump’s nuclear-powered battleships cost $275B: CBO report

 

…IRANIAN WAR COST TRACKER (Estimated U.S. Taxpayer Spending):$113, 300, 000, 000

 

...USA Today: Trump ballroom soars to $600M, with taxpayers on hook for half: 

 

…Trump revamps White House helipad, then tears it up, construction will cost $6 million

…As of mid-2026, the U.S. government has significantly ramped up spending, with over $46 billion authorized to build and complete a "smart wall" along the U.S.-Mexico border.

…Where is all that money coming from? If every person, man, woman and child in the entire country, plus their pets, paid taxes, we could never fund all this, not to mention Social Security, Medicare, and all the other countless, necessary social programs.

...It's like Global warming: we know it’s happening, but let’s not care right now. Let’s burn the whole fucking world down for nothing.

 …Dude, you’ve got to take it down a notch. Or several hundred.

…Anyway, how about those Mariners?

…Most people only manifest good things while all I seem to manifest is palsy.

…“Sometimes I forget how punchable my face is.” Benjamin Drevlow

…Lord knows I’ve had some really bad haircuts, but I’ll give myself a couple of points for a least trying something different.

…Every disappointment, every rejection has led you here.

…Hey, I’ve got nothing to brag about. Sorry. Age has let me down but it’s somehow left me living, so I’m grateful for that.

…“Every morning I wake up and think I have a test that I’m going to fail that day.” Benjamin Drevlow

…This is one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time. You can replace “songwriting” with whatever you choose, and it still works…

With hits under his belt like Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso,” Teddy Swims’ “Lose Control,” Gracie Abrams’ “That’s So True” and One Direction’s “Drag Me Down” and “Best Song Ever,” Julian Bunetta has emerged as one of the most successful and influential producer-songwriters of this era and was recently honored by the National Music Publishers Association.

We in the audience were cued to shout “SONGWRITING IS EASY!” We knew all too well the irony of that statement, and we joined in with relish.

Here’s Julian’s speech in full:

“Songwriting is easy. It’s only notes and words. It’s a skill that can be learned like any other craft. Songwriters know this. The more you write, the better you get — simple as that.”

Rejection is hard.

Watching years of songs go nowhere is hard.

Watching songs you think are the best you have ever written get released and do absolutely nothing is hard.

Admitting to yourself the song was not good enough is hard.

Lying awake at night wondering if your songs will ever be successful is hard.”

(All) “Songwriting is easy!”

“Trusting your gut is hard.

Telling the truth is hard.

Fighting for your idea at the risk of disturbing the peace in the room is hard.

Asking people to stay and rewrite something when everyone wants to go home is hard.

Getting people back in a room to keep working on something is hard.

Finding the time is hard.”

(All) “Songwriting is easy!”

“Putting all your eggs in one basket is hard.

Losing a project is hard.

Rejection is hard.

Staying the course is hard.

Persistence is hard.

But if one day you woke up, and you had parents like mine….

And if you had a brother and manager like mine….

And if you had a writing partner like mine…

And if you had a wife like mine…

And if you had daughters like mine…

And if you had publishing partners like mine…

And if you had mentors like mine…

And if you had lawyers like mine…

And if you had collaborators like mine…

If you had a big family like mine…

If one day you woke up and had all that, I guarantee you would also say that …”

(All) “Songwriting is easy!”

 ...How about that?

—YOU KNOW I HATE THIS TUNE

 

Keedy’s—All You Can Eat!

 

I took myself 

to Keedy’s today. 

No one noticed, but there 

was a kid at the counter with 

a noose around his neck. 

It looked like a string of forever,

or Puka shells strung too tight.

That kid, he was cute, but a punk. 

He kept asking for answers you can’t

get from a jar or deck of cards,

but he had some of his own,

pointing at my back pocket, telling

me, “Yours is the ce of spades. Ta-da!”

Sure enough he was right.

I thought, “You Fucker.”

Then I thought, and I thought, 

and I thought again, how much 

that kid looked just like me.

 —IT CAN GET PRETTY DARK OUT IF YOU LET IT  

Another Way to See Things 

Most days he lives frozen, petrified, so even the wind can’t get him. When he tells her the door sometimes grows a face and speaks to him, his mother says, “Please go touch some grass.” When the strange voices rain down like a hailstorm, his mother says, “There are robins outside in the trees right now. Have a look.” When the boy explains how he can move the stars merely by shifting his eyes, his mother doesn’t hesitate and says, “Let’s step out into the night so you can show me.”

 

 —SHE SAID TO GET BETTER 

…Do you love me, which one is it? Do you love me?

…Wait, what? There are 31 days in July? 

 

…Arguing with your kid about art—it doesn’t get much better than that, at least not for me. Maybe he’ll remember someday, how we bantered the words “artistic integrity” back and forth, and why that matters.

 

…Lucy’s room kind of feels like my second home now.

 

…“Life’s not all bad when I really think I’ve thrown everything but the kitchen sink at it. Wouldn’t bet my piggy bank on it.” Sly Jr. piggy bank

 

...I never ever expected to win in the first place, so Congratulations!!! I hope you get famous, or whatever the Fuck it is you want from life.

 

…Here it goes, those first finger taps I love so much.

 

…I’m waving out a window, is anyone waving back at me?

 

…It must really be something, to want to bark that bad.

 

…“Drink a little water before going to bed. That will help a lot.”

 

…Good luck with all that, Sucker. 

 

…“I fell down last week, 

I couldn’t pick myself up.

My Momma called me last week,

I started to cry when I hung up.”

          Role Model—six speed

 

…I’m going to keep all my WTF? messages to myself from now on since I’m, apparently, the only one who gets them.

 

…There are only so many times you can say goodbye until it feels like you’re just making shit up while trying really hard not to get your soul crushed again and again.

 

...Maybe you just made that whole story up about me without me knowing it.

 

…“How long have you been up?”

 

…You look like fucking Hell.

 

…I don’t get it. Can’t you just love who you love? What does it matter what their sex is? Come on, really, don’t be as stupid as that, as them.

 

…“Evil doesn’t care. It just needs a victim and a road.” Charlie Salmon

 

…There’s only one reason someone sends you that, you stupid bastard.

 

…We’re almost there. Promise. Pinkie Swear.

 

…Can’t stand the way you turn your head when you see I’m bleeding.

 

…I get so angry sometimes, and I’m not sure where else to place my fury other than here. Sorry. Though look—not a single political comment on today’s post.

 

…But I had a nap, plus there’s always Audrey Hobert. She’s the real deal, goofy as hell, a young Lucille Ball, but true through and through. 

 

…I’m not suggesting anything, but I wonder, in a world of 6 billion people, how many have looked into a mirror this morning and asked themselves, “Okay, what are we doing here right now?”

 

…They have a really awful band name, but still “Light Me Up” is a pretty fucking great song.

 

…Pushing “Delete” is almost always a wise decision.

 

…Some days, five days feels like 5,000, but maybe it doesn’t feel the same way to you. I really don’t know how it feels to you.

 

…Whatever you do right now, keep that door closed.

 

…This is going to sound a lot more fun tomorrow. Or so, I’m praying.

 

…Here’s what you do now—you just lay down and say, “Uncle,” like the old days when “Chinese torture” was still a thing and not some kind of racial slur, when your older brothers really wanted to kill you, but somehow left you alive, young and still breathing.

 

…“My friend Eddy’s here.”

 

…I guess the answer is you play “Katie” again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ae0sYBbXkbo&list=RDae0sYBbXkbo&start_radio=1

 

…I just wasted a day I’ll never get back, but it was actually pretty fucking fun in a lot of respects, so maybe it wasn’t a waste after all.

 

…“Can you leave the key on the counter before you go?”

 

…What I hate is pretending.

 

…I guess I do a lot of pretending, but don’t we all, in one way or another?

 

...What I’ve learned is epiphanies aren’t always good like you think they are.

 

…I listened to three different songs during my workout yesterday that referenced how “your ass shakes.” Seriously. Three. It’s either totally misogynist, or else those words must mean something really special that I just don’t get—how your ass shakes, and why it’s important enough to incorporate them into song lyrics.

 

…I like the sound of laughter. I like when your ass shakes.

 

…“What does ‘AWK!’ mean?”

 

…You need to learn when to turn the volume down. I’m still working on that.

 

--Don’t be stupid. You can’t adopt a child.

--Why not?

--You’re sixty-six.

--(Fuck off.)

 

…That’s one way of putting it--“This war is ⁠illegal.” Andrii Sybiha, Ukrainian Foreign Minister

 

…Is the rain going to beat me, or the berries, or you? 

I hope it’s you.

 

…Dude, get control of your dogs. Why do you even have dogs if you’re never there for them?

 

…I might have too many tabs open right now.

 

…This party’s only going to last so long before it crashes.

 

…If you do anything often enough, you get better at it. I mean, anything.

 

…“I think writing is a way of fixing things, too.” Eliza

 

…Yeah, but you’re not here, so you don’t really know, and that’s not your fault.

 

…I think I need to calm down.

 

…I always wonder—What’s the real reason, though?

 

…You can tell me all you want about symmetry, but I’ll still never believe it, or you. Sorry, not sorry.

 

…I could probably watch “Wet Hair” forever.

 

…Wait, how old am I?

 

…The definition of cruel is when your children are cruel to you, even if they’re doing it lazily, without meaning to.

 

…Your shirt’s too big, you dyed your hair.

 

…I guess the thing you’re supposed to do is you’re supposed to let the air out of your lungs once in a while. 

 

…In a couple of more years, this will feel normal, and you’ll forget what my face feels like in your hands.  

…Maybe I just need a Stevie Nicks.

…Or a Lucy. Yeah, a Lucy. I know I’d be happy if Lucy was here. I can only sleep in her room so many times.

…I don’t feel anything at all like a trophy, but I feel a lot like a fake one lately.

…Sometimes the difference is just a couple of inches.

…I’m in my car, I’m killing time, Should I go and guzzle a glass of wine?

…If you knew it on “the rooftop that night” what the hell happened, Jack? Please take care of Margaret, please.

…“As a writer, one of the things I’ve always been interested in doing is actually invading your comfort space. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Get under your skin, and make you react.” Stephen King

…I love my bathroom mirror because it magically makes me look way better than I actually do, but then when I look into any other mirror, the truth is a harsh bitch who doesn’t mince words.

…Just a warning—I was aiming to lift, shave and shower, but none of those things came to pass. So, I might resemble that guy on the curb with his hoodie held out like a hat wanting to be filled up with rain.

…I’m going to push “Save” now just to be safe.

…And I don’t wanna cry, because no one ever cries if they’re tough.

…You can’t beat that, even when you think you can.

…But I’ve done it a couple of times. Trust me, if I can do it, you can.

…I was in the mud. I was in the dirt. Found out what I was worth.

…I think I might have been a cult leader when all I was really taxed with was being a manager of people.

…There are some films, and songs, that are so sacred they should never be remade or “covered.” “Beast of Burden” is one of those. And who the fuck is Argonaut & Wasp anyway?

…A lot of stuff on social media makes no sense, or it annoys the hell out of me and after I’ve read it, I feel like I’m lost in the hallways of “Backrooms,” bouncing off walls without even knowing why.

…Maybe God is just a cop that we can fast talk.

…I’m just sitting here, in my head again, which is dangerous for all sorts of reasons.

...“Yep, your hair is looking pretty greasy.”

...I pay close attention to epiphanies, because they’re rare, sort of like angels landing on your shoulder. But what do you do when the epiphany isn’t at all what you wanted to hear?

…I’ve got a million reasons to smile, so why is it so hard?

…Sometimes the story’s better with a different ending, but if it’s genuine, any ending should do.

…Trying to tinker with someone else’s story is always tricky, but the key is you just have to say, Fuck it, and start slaying what needs to be slayed.

…Yeah, I’ve thought about it, and I know how self-centered it is, but there’s really no excuse for that.

…I’m really cold. Even though it’s 93 degrees out, I’m cold. Why is that?

…I think the thing about “Grown Up” is it just makes you happy, if you let it.

…I guess we all have our moments when we find logic constraining.

…Tomorrow. Tomorrow’s the day I'll finally do it.

…I’ll start shortening things next week. I’m just not quite ready right now.