—I END MY DAY THE SAME WAY I STARTED. LONG NIGHTS, HEAVY FEELINGS.

 

…“There may be no you—no other to receive and understand these revelations of mine.” Joe Wenderoth

 

…You know what’s funny is (…) 

…I can’t keep revising my life, day after day. No one can, unless they’re Buddhists with nothing else to do.

 

…Do you ever have a day where you just wake up super cranky for no discernible reason? No? Well, I do.

 

…Yeah, that’s not a reason—I was cranky well before that.

 

…It’s a whole lot easier to just blame you.

 

…Doesn’t the power always land when the ending does?

 

…“When you get used to the dark, you realize the ghosts are all friendly.” Jack Kerouac 

 

…But if it’s not real, what does it really mean, or matter?

 

…The other day I doubted almost everything. 

 

…That pocket I’m wearing looks awfully empty, and the other one has a fucking hole in it. 

 

…I think I can hear the sand tripping, can’t you?

 

…You should have seen the geese today. It looked they were about to storm Normandy.

 

…Eniyah. If you pray, pray for Eniyah. God.

 

…You can use all of your sweetest words again, but they won’t work this time.

 

…I’m not going to make a mistake again today, am I?

 

…It used to be so natural, to talk about forever.

 

--I’d probably sob.

--I already have, several times.

 

…IMOMNB

 

…Trust me.

 

…The thing is, I almost don’t even need a reason.

 

…Don’t worry, I’m not in a hurry, I’m not going nowhere, I’m not going nowhere. 

 

…“Fuck man, that’s otherworldly. Who can even write shit like that?”

 

…It’s all pretty hard to explain. But if you have a few days, or a month, I’ll tell you all about my mother.

 

…It feels like a good evening to just fall asleep.

 

…The problem is I’m looking for a lap. 

 

…Yep, sure, but it’s not even noon yet, dude.

 

…Maybe we should go for a long walk. I think there are things you’ve yet to say.

 

…I just looked up; it’s pretty spectacular.

 

…Wait, is that still there?

 

…What’s the point, if you’re just faking it?

 

...Dare I?

 

…I’m always giving it up before I should. I’m such a puss.

 

…If you’re going to believe all the stuff I write, you’re in for trouble. I’ve tried it before, believing my own shit, and it almost killed me.

 

…“How does this song not have more attention?”

 

…sjowgren – seventeen: I wish I could get stuck inside that beat forever. It’d be a good way to die, not that I actually want to.

 

…I’m waving through a window…tap-tap-tapping on the glass.

 

…It’s award season, and all my friends seem happy now. Yay.

 

…I might spend too much time worrying, and thinking about, my friends. The funny this is, they don’t even know it.

 

…This line said (…) before I wisely deleted it.

 

…I always think, Maybe if I don’t look, it won’t hurt as much. But then I still look. I look every fucking day.

 

...I know what I said, but I realize now that I didn’t mean a word of it.

 

…It’s so sad, how hard it is to trust anyone donning a flag.

 

...Fuck that guy.

 

…You’ve got to hand it to them though; they pulled off a couple of the greatest hijacks ever.

 

--Fuck that guy.

--Why do you say Fuck so much now?

--Are you serious?

--I asked, didn’t I?

--Take a peek, Patterson.

 

…“Hey, didn’t you used to work for a church?”

 

…Who does this?

 

…I’m not keeping score, but so far it feels like I’m losing.

 

…It can just stop, like that. That’s what I realized. That’s what I didn’t think was even possible.

 

…People who aren’t afraid of heights and say, “You’ll be fine walking over that bridge” are like someone telling a short person they’ll be taller if they just try harder and keep their eyes closed.

 

…Okay, I’m desperate, so, it’s “No Bad Days” again.

 

…We just wanna stay upppp.

 

…It’s funny the things you stumble on when you’re not looking for anything.

 

…It’s not hyperbole to say I’d be dead by now, without music, without books, without writing.

 

…Sometimes the problem is listening.

 

…Flowers are always important. No one’s ever going to say, “Why the hell did you bring me flowers?”

 

…I promise—I’ll only play it one more time.

 

…This guy can literally get away with anything:

Trump Pulled In at Least $2 Billion After Returning to the White House

The release of a mandatory financial disclosure for 2025 shows that the Trump family’s holdings, particularly the president’s crypto businesses, were stunningly lucrative.

…“The easiest way to give up your power is to believe you don’t have any.” Janjay Lowe

 

…It’s a shock to me that someone from the so-called Department of Justice hasn’t knocked on my door yet bearing handcuffs.

 

…Fuck them. 

 

…Hello, Honey, do I know you?

 

…(Break) Love me, Love me, Say that you love me.

 

…I’m not sure why that’s spinning right now, but it’s spinning kinda hard.

 

…Give and Take, yeah, I get it, but still.

 

…Debacle is one of the best words ever, for all sorts of reasons.

 

...The things your mind does, right? Or maybe it’s just mine. 

 

…It’s not like you just remember someone’s birthday anymore, unless you have an app that reminds you.

 

…“Make good choices!” (Bad film, but that line always makes me smile.)

 

…Is it because I keep talking? She said, Mostly.

 

…One thing’s for sure—I need a new song.

 

…This is kind of hard to watch (for me). Gosh, he looks so young, reminds me of me without the body, of course, and without all his boyish handsomeness, but well, everything else, there’s something there...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky6FNKxtLM4&list=RDky6FNKxtLM4&start_radio=1

 

…I think the key is you just have to be authentic, stripped down and bare, and true. The rest is left up to chance, but your odds of success are a lot better if you’re honest.

 

…And also, straws should get way more credit than they do.

 

…Alert: Theft reported less than 6.9 miles from your home

 

…Alert: Assault reported less than 1.9 miles from your home

 

…What I don’t want to do is fall into depression. 

 

…Or off the top of a skyscraper. 

 

…Or anywhere tall, really.

 

…See what I mean about having a fear of heights?

 

...Maybe I should get a socket set. Like, lots and lots of sockets.

 

…I’m not sure I believe karma comes around, but I get why people would.

 

…It’s good to believe in something.

 

…Maybe I need a tracking number.

 

…Maybe that will help out.

 

…The thing is, I never have anywhere to go. Just check the odometer on my car.

 

…A random person buying your book is one of the best things ever.

 

…But a note from them is even better. 

 

…I don’t want to end this with one more piece of bad advice.

 

…One thing’s for sure; I’ve got a lot of messy folders.

 

…Once upon a time, we were almost famous.

 

…I’ve got a sore back, but I’d still carry your bags if you asked me to. 

 

…If songs were shoes, High Hopes 3000 would have no rubber left on its sole. Or Mandy. Or Thirst Trap. 

 

…I did a lot of erasure this morning. Thank God.

 

…I wish I could walk that fast on a treadmill.

 

…How can you be a celebrity today and not be doxed? So, even if you hate her, my hat’s tipped to Taylor.

 

…I guess I don’t want this to be some kind of currency exchange, as if it’s supposed to have superficial value with nothing there. 

 

…But Used-to-be’s don’t count anymore… 

 

…Maybe we need a different litmus test.

 

…You can go ahead and try all you want, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to work out for either of us.

 

…It’s your call—you framed it perfectly.

 

…The thing about tomorrow is, you’re there and I’m here.

 

…See you in Tacoma.

 

…Okay, here’s what we’ve got now:

 

...I better leave it at that.

—DOES LOVE COME AROUND, OR DOES ONE COME AROUND TO IT?

 

A Scary Story

Your kiss this morning 

is a different kind of tyranny, 

slick and somehow meaningful, 

the mattress warmer than usual, 

blankets pulled over us as if 

we’re in summer camp 

with a flashlight 

telling ghost stories about 

a girl who said she 

loved a boy though, in truth, 

she loved a different monster instead, 

your lover whose shadow stalks me, 

even now as I reach down

and slip inside of you. 

 

—DO I REALLY BELIEVE, THAT SOMEONE COULD CHANGE MY LIFE?

 

Thrifting

Let’s go thrifting and find a store that sells used hearts and broken pulse points. We can compare colors and beat times, talk about Grandma Ruthie’s necklace that fell off its clasp and your neck straight into the garbage disposal and made a ruckus for months on end, very much like a heart that just wants someone to finally hear it. 

I’ll hang around while you try on plaid exoskeletons and waxed eyelid replicas of celebrities, but I promise I won’t say how goofy and strange you look staring into the mirror with that sprig of lettuce or avocado in your teeth. I might not be able to stop from grinning when you open the hope chest filled with scrolls they’ve recovered from Vesuvius, another good thing that blasphemous AI has done. 

And if you’re not tuckered out after that, we can set up our own garage sale right out there on the lawn like in that Carver story I can never let go of, them kids so you in love but broken up and unable to hold onto the remnants of a future that could have been a past they could have had, that maybe we’d have read about in the hope chest we landed on that weekend we had nothing else to do and went thrifting.

 

—BRAND NEW SHIRT, IT’S A LITTLE EXPENSIVE

 

…The worst thing in the world is seeing your child suffer.

…There’s no greater truth than that.

…I remember a time when I actually believed ours was the greatest country in the world. Now I’m certain it’s one of the very worst.

…People who say it’s not the country, it’s our current government, fail to understand one of the most important principals America was founded on, that we’re a democracy, meaning the plurality wins, meaning a majority of us voted this current government into office thinking it would be a good idea.

…Okay okay okay.

…But, how about those Mariners?

…This short one looks too short. And, hey, can you hand me a straw please?

…I don’t care how you get here, just get here, if you can. 

…I just want you to love it as much as I love it. Is that too much to ask? You can even lie if you have to. You can lie all the time, if that’s what it takes, and I’ll believe you every time.

 

...Maybe we can talk about it later, if you’re not too busy. 

 

…Hey, now, lend some independence.

 

…Why did I used to hate Friday so much? There must’ve been a really good reason.

 

…Oh, yeah, I just thought of it.

…You’re the only person on the planet that knows what it means when I say I want to get paid. That must mean something.

…Poor Rocky. I think he spends even more time alone than Alex did. You can’t really blame him for being onery, even if it’s completely obnoxious. 

…You’re so fucking gorgeous.

…“You’re sweet and a liar.”

…I don’t have an answer for that.

…But don’t most writers lie?

…Somehow I’ve got a lot to say, and nothing to say at all.

…Who puts a plastic rose on a guy’s necktie while he’s lying in a barren bathtub right before he's about to get married? Oh yeah, some random friend who loves you.

…That was a random thing I remembered today.

…Do you think you might be the angriest driver ever?

…You know what’s annoying as Fuck? It’s (…)

…“Check your rings.” No, fucking check yourself.

…Gosh, really? I don’t think you wanna know.

…It’s pretty special, and rare, to meet someone at this point in your life who becomes a friend, someone you can share real life stuff with.

…It seems like, if you kill someone, you should be willing to die as well.

…But as it stands, I need some more to drink.

…I know that look upon your face.

…That’s not really an endorsement.

…“Fuck, man, you’re wrong. Taylor Swift is the nicest person ever.”

…If you’re gonna open it, you gotta at least have some.

…“What I like about her is that she makes being neurotic look fun.” Kim Deal, on Olivia Rodrigo.

…The real problem is ______.

…Honey, turn off the light.

…You can spell “hard” any way you want, but it’s still hard.

…Why does everyone have to die?

…The problem is, even when you’re ugly, you’re not.

…Wait, let me wipe my glasses.

…You have to keep your chin up or else the sun is going to get you.

…I think I’d take, “I see what you mean” as opposed to nothing.

…I can tell a lot has changed, but that’s on me.

…I can barely lift my eyes.

…Well, we’ll see about that eventually.

…Sorry I’m late, I was busy emptying my pockets

…It’s still magnificent.

…Those birds. I love those messy birds so much.

…Isn’t that the whole point of art, to make you feel something—even if it’s depressing or sickening, instead of giddy and sitcom romantic?

…I’ve got a poem in my head, but there are still oysters in my ears.

…Oh, well, that’s miles away.

…I think Pete’s been lifting weights.

…You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. Right?

…I promised not to be “that guy,” yet sometimes I definitely am him. Or her. Or someone who very much resembles him or her. (You get the drift.)

…Asking you to listen to new music and just try to appreciate it is like me asking you do believe in Jesus when you’re at a turn signal and the light’s changed to green but no cars are moving—Jesus, can you just fucking go?! 

…If you can see me coming, you can watch me go.

…I push “Save” a lot now. Maybe more than I do anything. 

…And I don’t mean that in the way you’re thinking.

…Pardon me for asking.

…Cheese won’t melt in the fire, chili hit sweet in the sugar.

…I might be a little obsessed.

…Where do we just get $88 billion, and then nearly another billion for a ballroom? Nothing makes sense unless he’s the antichrist, though I know he’s not close to that smart:

Trump wants $88 billion from Congress for Iran war

…Somebody’s telling me something, but they have to speak up.

…You surprised me.

…Do I really want to know that? You tell me.

…I’m not sure why you wouldn’t ever want someone to put their head in your lap if you’re lucky enough to have them want to do that.

…It’s going to be beautiful no matter where you are. I guarantee it.

…That was really stupid, but somehow it worked out okay.

...I think I just need to take my phone off of “Sleep” but I’m not sure.

…It’s a problem when you don’t recognize your own handwriting.

…True story—it’s all clouds now.

…You said I love you like you meant it, but then again that mosquito looked full when it stuck my arm and stayed there.

…I said, “I think I’ll have another,” she said, “Jynx.” Now I'm paying $40 dollars for our drinks.

…I’ve probably said that before. Maybe even lots of times.

…I don’t blame you for a second.

…There’s no way anyone is eating that meatloaf.

…It’s annoying—all the places you can be lonely.

--But do you really want to? 

--What I want is to get it over with it already and for you to stop talking so much.

…

Members of alleged antifa group in Texas get decades-long sentences for violent protest outside ICE facility

Eight people got prison terms ranging from 30 to 100 years for their roles in a protest that turned violent outside an immigration detention center last summer.

…

Tillis: Pirro can’t be taken ‘seriously’ for prosecuting alleged reflecting pool vandalism

Sen. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.) is blasting U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro for threatening to prosecute people accused of vandalizing the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool to the fullest extent of the law after President Trump granted blanket pardons last year to people convicted of crimes related to the Jan. 6, 2021, storming of the U.S. Capitol.

 …We are a country gone wrong, and I wish I could say I’m almost done, but…

 Supreme Court rules asylum seekers may be turned around, siding with Trump

 

U.S. Supreme Court rules on 2nd Amendment

The U.S. Supreme Court has rejected states' right to forbid licensed gun owners from carrying a firearm into stores or some private businesses open to the public

The U.S. Supreme Court is allowing President Donald Trump’s effort to terminate legal protections for Syrian and Haitian migrants

 …That’s one bad robot, and I don’t mean it in a good way. 

…No one does this. Nope.

…I guess you’d have to read it first.

…“You time out awfully fast.” 

…How did that alarm not go off?

…It might be total shit, but I’m always writing.

…I could love you until my very last day and you’d never know it.

…“Dude, you’ve never been called a liar?” 

…It’s like a card you have to punch.

…“If you’ve been injured in a car accident, we can help.”

…It’s another flavor of the week, but I like it.

…Alert: Assault reported less than 4.9 miles from your home

…“It feels like we’re about to get into a really big fight.”

…I mean, Come on.

…Time could change, but I’ll give you my number.

…Here’s what I often tell myself: No. Don’t.

…Thank you for sharing this with me.

 

…Last night I did this thing where I talked to random people at the bar…

 

…Can’t you just say Fuck and mean it?

 

…I was a virgin, too, once.

 

…“Sex is just weird hippie shit.” Sid Vicious

 

…It’s so beautiful out that it doesn’t even seem real.

 

…Before you go for good, just ask (and answer) yourself the only question that’s important—does this matter to me, and why?

 

 …I used to have more confidence in college...

 

…Rock solid is something I’ve never been.

 

…STOP ANXIETY NOW!!

 

…Okay, I’ll stop now.

 

–IF YOU CAN’T TELL, I WANNA DANCE WITH YOU

 

Jars

      Let’s open up a Kool-Aid stand and drink every jar we make. I’ll wipe the grape smear off your lips, and you’ll smack me back playfully. We’ll be young again, in love, and you’ll be alive again, the girl next door I used to fantasize about when she picked dandelions and put them in her hair like three simple suns just out of reach.

 

—I’M NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY

 

 Troy

 

How do you die

before your fourth birthday,

when there’s cake and candles inside,

balloons everywhere?

 

I used to think water was gentle,

a kind of savior, or Jesus

who keeps his eye out for

the stray duckling.

 

Was he trying to swim

for the first time that morning or

did the dock unexpectedly

jolt beneath him?

 

Who’s to say but God

or that misty universe people

reference when they need to,

requesting thoughts and prayers.

 

I didn’t know the boy,

not even his name,

but I know this lake, it’s

called “Flowing.” I’ll call

 

that kid Troy, think of him when

the water winks at me,

and waves roll out,

one after the other.