—DON’T TOUCH YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW, EVEN IF IT FEELS LIKE YOU SHOULD

  

…While we’re on the subject, could we change the subject now?

 

…“Never was there a time when the existence of the poet was more menaced than today. The American species, indeed, is in danger of being extinguished altogether. What we obviously lack in this county, what we are not even aware that we lack, is the dreamer, the inspired madman, the lone individual, the only true rebel in a rotten society.” Henry Miller

 

…Who knew Sam Elliott would show up this week, brandishing gifts, no less?

 

…I know the cure for most things is to not care too much, but—while I’m no Mother Theresa by a long shot—that’s hard for me to do.

 

…Sometimes it feels like God’s just letting these things happen, which doesn’t do a lot to bolster my faith.

 

…It’s not all just going to go away in day. Not like, Poof!  That’s what I tell myself anyway.

 

…There’s more than one way that a thing can be true.

 

…Help me out here—I’ve been losing things lately, and apparently duplicating them at the same time.

 

…Why do I still stick around? I don’t know, or I guess I do. Because some things are worth it.

 

…The problem is we get to choose.

 

…I don’t care whose fault it is. After all, what does it matter whose fault it is? 

 

…Nothing ever went as we planned. But here were are, now.

 

…I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I know what I’m not going to do.

 

…What is wrong with this fucking lunatic?

https://ew.com/donald-trump-trolls-taylor-swift-during-wedding-12012170?hid=67047e0035f87a8f461668b09298ab9ecee4a0fc&did=24515322-20260705&utm_campaign=ewk_relationship-builder&utm_source=ewk&utm_medium=email&utm_content=070526&lctg=67047e0035f87a8f461668b09298ab9ecee4a0fc&lr_input=53ec56adb86cd4ea3ef0e0cd3320199c27188c1201a7ee9d4299c7d2f991d964&utm_term=news-alert

 

 …RETURN TO SENDER is nothing you ever want to see.

 

--That’s a good line.

--Stop saying, ‘That’s a good line.’

--But it sounds like a good one.

--Every line sounds like a good line, if you want it to be.

--Yep. Now you finally get the point.

 

…I guess the point is you really have to annunciate.

 

…For instance, a lot of times when I talk to her, Suri thinks I’m saying Sumi, and therefore many of the questions in my life go unanswered. 

 

…I forgot I left that turned on.

 

…It’s not like I’m just making this shit up.

 

…“The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth.” Jean Cocteau

 

…This chair doesn’t work properly anymore. It just wants me to keep sitting in it, bad back and all.

 

…But anyway, it’s America, so you can always go to Carl’s Jr., eat a 3,000-calorie burger, plus fries and a shake, or buy a gun at Walmart. How is this not a great country?

 

…I really don’t like to be beholden to anyone, but it always depends on who that anyone is.

 

…This is a small town, where no one lives more than fifteen minutes away from anyone. Hard to believe you’ve only been fifteen minutes away this whole time.

 

…"When things aren't going your way, there isn't just one way to win.” Argentina soccer coach, Lionel Scaloni after being down 2-0 to Egypt, with ten minutes left in the match

 

…I wonder if they have compression socks for your head.

 

…I was looking for my best friend, and there you were.

 

…Seems like the only time I don’t cut things short is here, on Fridays, when I really should.

 

…(But have you noticed I haven’t apologized so much?)

 

…I think I know most of my friends better than my friends know themselves.

 

…Who spends that much time writing about a girl who falls in love with a dung beetle? Oh, yeah.

 

…“I’m not sure about this piece,” is usually code for I’m pretty sure this sucks, and I’m sorry I’m asking you to read it because I’m pretty sure you and I both know it sucks, but will you please be honest?

I always hate sending something like that, but you never know if it’s salvageable or not until you get a smart set of eyes on it.

 

…I think I need a trash compactor. Like, really bad because garbage day is coming up, and things are overflowing.

 

…Some things run into other things, and no one can stop that from happening.

 

…There are a million ways this fucking guy is ruining the country, and the world—from accelerating climate change to literally killing hundreds of thousands of people in Africa by eliminating USAD—but there are also all these unannounced, papercut ways he’s hijacking the America some of us celebrated last week, one of which is: 

The 'white genocide' myth is shaping immigration policy

JUNE 26, 2026, NPR

 

Since October 2025, the U.S. has admitted more than 6,000 refugees — and all but three are white South Africans. The Trump administration says Afrikaners are fleeing a "genocide." They're not.

 

…This is the biggest fucking tool, with the biggest ego a human’s ever had—

    “They said, ‘We love you , sir, we love you.’ These are grown people saying that. Isn’t that nice?” Trump told reporters after the first day of NATO meetings. “Maybe, I don’t know, maybe they’re trying to get to me, and in a way they did, because there was tremendous unity in that room.”

 

…Fuck that stupid fucking guy.

 

…It’s hard to root against your country, but sometimes it’s harder to root for them.

 

…I don’t want to be a person who doesn’t give a shit, even if I can’t do anything about it.

 

…Hey, but did you see the Mariners are still in first, somehow?

 

…“Is it too late for ‘Sunny?’”

 

…If you can write humor well, you’re one lucky fuck.

 

…“All I do is joke, so when I become serious, I think it’s a bit arresting for people.” Jack Antonoff

 

…Sometimes the last thing you’re trying to do is be a dick, and yet you still end up one, a dick. 

 

…I have to remind myself, time and time again (cliché), that I already have that sweater or that shoe or that jacket in the same color, so what am I doing adding it into my cart?

 

…I get the news delivered every day, in various formats, but you know what’s not news yet?  IMOMNB.

 

…I’d try therapy again if it’d worked the first, or second, or third time.

 

…My first therapist used to fall asleep while I was talking, and yeah, I know I have a soft-speaking voice, but still? 

One time, I decided to just stop talking and see how long he’d nod off. It was maybe only a couple of minutes, but of course, it felt like half an hour to me, just sitting there. 

Eventually, he jolted awake and said, “So, how did it make you feel?” 

I stopped going after that.

 

…My second therapist was maybe my emotional doppelganger, but he scared the piss out of me. He and I had had mirrored lives in many ways, which was a relief to know I wasn’t the only one that fucked up. But one day, he just said, “Sounds like things are good,” and sort of clapped his hands, We’re done now, though we weren’t. 

 

…(Time to stand!)

 

…My third therapist was a kid trying to grow his first moustache, and he never gave me any feedback, so much so that I felt I had to come prepared with topics, even after all the horrible stuff I’d spilled to him during our first session. Like, I used to bring poems I’d written about my childhood, my brothers, my mother and such, and I’d read them aloud to him, and he’d say, “Wow, that’s good, I can see why you’re a writer,” but he’d never say anything else. Like, nothing beyond that.

 

…I know therapy works, and it’s extremely important, but it’s sucked for me.

 

…I don’t expect you to get it, or anything else I say here, unless you’ve walked this street before. 

 

…I get PEOPLE every week, though I never subscribed. (I think they subbed it for some other magazine that folded. Something like that.) But, yeah, I get it delivered in the mail, PEOPLE, each week, and I look at it, and of all the celebrities they show, I know less than fifty percent. Back when I worked at N, I’d know everyone.

Toward the end of the mag, they profile some famous person and ask a few questions. Usually one of those questions is—When’s the last time you danced?

I’m not famous, but I danced on the treadmill this morning, sort of, and I also sort of danced after peeing, alone in my upstairs bathroom.

So, there’s that.

 

…Again: “Do you think I tell you too much?”

 

…“Even if it’s messy, I bet there’s still a lot of people who read your blog, because you have something to say.” (That’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.)

 

…Did you know I’d go to sleep and leave the lights on?

 

…I think I might need a mulligan.

 

…You can work out regularly and consume all the necessary protein, but if you’re not careful, it’s the sugar that will ruin everything.

 

…Maybe I’m the only one here who doesn’t give a flying fuck what Prince Harry or Megan Markle do.

 

…Sometimes you just can’t sleep, even when sleep is the thing you need the most.

 

… In a statement, singer Brittany Howard said the new Alabama Shakes album “I Must Be Dreaming” title “has a double meaning to it. It could be saying, ‘I must be dreaming, because the world is so fucking crazy right now.’ But it could also mean, ‘I must be dreaming, because the world is so incredibly beautiful.’ Both those things can be true at once.” -- Pitchfork

 

--Who is that guy? 

--I haven’t seen him around here in ages.

--Wasn’t that the guy everyone talked about?

--I don’t know. I haven’t seen him around here in ages.

 

…I’ll be better in a couple of hours. Or I’ll be in a casket.

 

…Give me a rubber band please. It’s the only tool I know how to use well.

 

…You can make anything sound better with the right word. Even the word elastic.

 

…Here’s what I keep hearing, a voice inside my skull saying: Stand up for something, you Prick.

 

....Here's the poem (above) that won't "paste" for some reason, written out...and worth it.

The Committee Weighs In

        Andra Cohen

I tell my mother 

I've won the Nobel Prize. 

Again? she says. Which 

discipline this time? 

It's a little game 

we play: I pretend 

I'm somebody, she 

pretends she isn't dead.

…There’s a lot to be said for platitudes.

 

…Each person I tell that I watch “Everybody Loves Raymond” snidely chuckles in their lap. But the joke’s on them. It’s honestly the funniest show I’ve ever watched. I mean, like, EVER. I’ll laugh “uproariously” for 20 minutes straight every time, sometimes spitting at the screen without meaning to. 

It feels really good to laugh. Especially now.

Don’t be a dumb ass--watch Raymond. I guarantee you’ll be glad you did.

 

…A smarter guy than me would end things about now. 

 

—IF I HAD A FACE LIKE THAT, I’D NEVER LOVE NO ONE ELSE

 

Thrifting

Let’s go thrifting and find a store that sells used hearts and broken pulse points. We can compare colors and beat times, talk about Grandma Ruthie’s necklace that fell off its clasp and your neck straight into the garbage disposal and made a ruckus for months on end, very much like a heart that just wants someone to finally hear it. 

I’ll hang around while you try on plaid exoskeletons and waxed eyelid replicas of celebrities, but I promise I won’t say how goofy and strange you look staring into the mirror with that sprig of lettuce or avocado in your teeth. I might not be able to stop from grinning when you open the hope chest filled with scrolls they’ve recovered from Vesuvius. 

And if you’re not tuckered out after that, we can set up our own garage sale right out there on the lawn like in that Carver story I can never let go of, them kids so you in love but broken up and unable to hold onto the remnants of a future that could have been a past they could have had, that maybe we’d have read about in the hope chest we landed on that weekend we had nothing else to do and went thrifting.

 

—SOMEBODY’S TELLING ME 

 

 I Hope You Don’t Mind

 

That’s a lot of ghosts, all of those sentries hanging there by the shower curtain, next to the blood stain that looks like a heart which has been dug up but not buried.

What I'm thinking is--Maybe the door hinge won’t swing off its screw tomorrow and hit the hound right on its snout, if no one twists too hard.

What I'm thinking is--Maybe things will work out after all.

I don’t know. I’m just going to sit here in the shadows by my feet, breathe shallow and try not to feel scared for once.

I've got this paperback a cute girl left behind in the library while I was eating lunch in the back row.

it’s kind of curdled, like soup you'd never dare to eat, but I’m learning there’s actually magic in it.

Like, I read those opening paragraphs. I read them over and over, and I could swear I saw my mother smiling at me up from the first page.

 

—I END MY DAY THE SAME WAY I STARTED. LONG NIGHTS, HEAVY FEELINGS.

 

…“There may be no you—no other to receive and understand these revelations of mine.” Joe Wenderoth

 

…You know what’s funny is (…) 

…I can’t keep revising my life, day after day. No one can, unless they’re Buddhists with nothing else to do.

 

…Do you ever have a day where you just wake up super cranky for no discernible reason? No? Well, I do.

 

…Yeah, that’s not a reason—I was cranky well before that.

 

…It’s a whole lot easier to just blame you.

 

…Doesn’t the power always land when the ending does?

 

…“When you get used to the dark, you realize the ghosts are all friendly.” Jack Kerouac 

 

…But if it’s not real, what does it really mean, or matter?

 

…The other day I doubted almost everything. 

 

…That pocket I’m wearing looks awfully empty, and the other one has a fucking hole in it. 

 

…I think I can hear the sand tripping, can’t you?

 

…You should have seen the geese today. It looked they were about to storm Normandy.

 

…Eniyah. If you pray, pray for Eniyah. God.

 

…You can use all of your sweetest words again, but they won’t work this time.

 

…I’m not going to make a mistake again today, am I?

 

…It used to be so natural, to talk about forever.

 

--I’d probably sob.

--I already have, several times.

 

…IMOMNB

 

…Trust me.

 

…The thing is, I almost don’t even need a reason.

 

…Don’t worry, I’m not in a hurry, I’m not going nowhere, I’m not going nowhere. 

 

…“Fuck man, that’s otherworldly. Who can even write shit like that?”

 

…It’s all pretty hard to explain. But if you have a few days, or a month, I’ll tell you all about my mother.

 

…It feels like a good evening to just fall asleep.

 

…The problem is I’m looking for a lap. 

 

…Yep, sure, but it’s not even noon yet, dude.

 

…Maybe we should go for a long walk. I think there are things you’ve yet to say.

 

…I just looked up; it’s pretty spectacular.

 

…Wait, is that still there?

 

…What’s the point, if you’re just faking it?

 

...Dare I?

 

…I’m always giving it up before I should. I’m such a puss.

 

…If you’re going to believe all the stuff I write, you’re in for trouble. I’ve tried it before, believing my own shit, and it almost killed me.

 

…“How does this song not have more attention?”

 

…sjowgren – seventeen: I wish I could get stuck inside that beat forever. It’d be a good way to die, not that I actually want to.

 

…I’m waving through a window…tap-tap-tapping on the glass.

 

…It’s award season, and all my friends seem happy now. Yay.

 

…I might spend too much time worrying, and thinking about, my friends. The funny this is, they don’t even know it.

 

…This line said (…) before I wisely deleted it.

 

…I always think, Maybe if I don’t look, it won’t hurt as much. But then I still look. I look every fucking day.

 

...I know what I said, but I realize now that I didn’t mean a word of it.

 

…It’s so sad, how hard it is to trust anyone donning a flag.

 

...Fuck that guy.

 

…You’ve got to hand it to them though; they pulled off a couple of the greatest hijacks ever.

 

--Fuck that guy.

--Why do you say Fuck so much now?

--Are you serious?

--I asked, didn’t I?

--Take a peek, Patterson.

 

…“Hey, didn’t you used to work for a church?”

 

…Who does this?

 

…I’m not keeping score, but so far it feels like I’m losing.

 

…It can just stop, like that. That’s what I realized. That’s what I didn’t think was even possible.

 

…People who aren’t afraid of heights and say, “You’ll be fine walking over that bridge” are like someone telling a short person they’ll be taller if they just try harder and keep their eyes closed.

 

…Okay, I’m desperate, so, it’s “No Bad Days” again.

 

…We just wanna stay upppp.

 

…It’s funny the things you stumble on when you’re not looking for anything.

 

…It’s not hyperbole to say I’d be dead by now, without music, without books, without writing.

 

…Sometimes the problem is listening.

 

…Flowers are always important. No one’s ever going to say, “Why the hell did you bring me flowers?”

 

…I promise—I’ll only play it one more time.

 

…This guy can literally get away with anything:

Trump Pulled In at Least $2 Billion After Returning to the White House

The release of a mandatory financial disclosure for 2025 shows that the Trump family’s holdings, particularly the president’s crypto businesses, were stunningly lucrative.

…“The easiest way to give up your power is to believe you don’t have any.” Janjay Lowe

 

…It’s a shock to me that someone from the so-called Department of Justice hasn’t knocked on my door yet bearing handcuffs.

 

…Fuck them. 

 

…Hello, Honey, do I know you?

 

…(Break) Love me, Love me, Say that you love me.

 

…I’m not sure why that’s spinning right now, but it’s spinning kinda hard.

 

…Give and Take, yeah, I get it, but still.

 

…Debacle is one of the best words ever, for all sorts of reasons.

 

...The things your mind does, right? Or maybe it’s just mine. 

 

…It’s not like you just remember someone’s birthday anymore, unless you have an app that reminds you.

 

…“Make good choices!” (Bad film, but that line always makes me smile.)

 

…Is it because I keep talking? She said, Mostly.

 

…One thing’s for sure—I need a new song.

 

…This is kind of hard to watch (for me). Gosh, he looks so young, reminds me of me without the body, of course, and without all his boyish handsomeness, but well, everything else, there’s something there...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky6FNKxtLM4&list=RDky6FNKxtLM4&start_radio=1

 

…I think the key is you just have to be authentic, stripped down and bare, and true. The rest is left up to chance, but your odds of success are a lot better if you’re honest.

 

…And also, straws should get way more credit than they do.

 

…Alert: Theft reported less than 6.9 miles from your home

 

…Alert: Assault reported less than 1.9 miles from your home

 

…What I don’t want to do is fall into depression. 

 

…Or off the top of a skyscraper. 

 

…Or anywhere tall, really.

 

…See what I mean about having a fear of heights?

 

...Maybe I should get a socket set. Like, lots and lots of sockets.

 

…I’m not sure I believe karma comes around, but I get why people would.

 

…It’s good to believe in something.

 

…Maybe I need a tracking number.

 

…Maybe that will help out.

 

…The thing is, I never have anywhere to go. Just check the odometer on my car.

 

…A random person buying your book is one of the best things ever.

 

…But a note from them is even better. 

 

…I don’t want to end this with one more piece of bad advice.

 

…One thing’s for sure; I’ve got a lot of messy folders.

 

…Once upon a time, we were almost famous.

 

…I’ve got a sore back, but I’d still carry your bags if you asked me to. 

 

…If songs were shoes, High Hopes 3000 would have no rubber left on its sole. Or Mandy. Or Thirst Trap. 

 

…I did a lot of erasure this morning. Thank God.

 

…I wish I could walk that fast on a treadmill.

 

…How can you be a celebrity today and not be doxed? So, even if you hate her, my hat’s tipped to Taylor.

 

…I guess I don’t want this to be some kind of currency exchange, as if it’s supposed to have superficial value with nothing there. 

 

…But Used-to-be’s don’t count anymore… 

 

…Maybe we need a different litmus test.

 

…You can go ahead and try all you want, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to work out for either of us.

 

…It’s your call—you framed it perfectly.

 

…The thing about tomorrow is, you’re there and I’m here.

 

…See you in Tacoma.

 

…Okay, here’s what we’ve got now:

 

...I better leave it at that.

—DOES LOVE COME AROUND, OR DOES ONE COME AROUND TO IT?

 

A Scary Story

Your kiss this morning 

is a different kind of tyranny, 

slick and somehow meaningful, 

the mattress warmer than usual, 

blankets pulled over us as if 

we’re in summer camp 

with a flashlight 

telling ghost stories about 

a girl who said she 

loved a boy though, in truth, 

she loved a different monster instead, 

your lover whose shadow stalks me, 

even now as I reach down

and slip inside of you. 

 

—DO I REALLY BELIEVE, THAT SOMEONE COULD CHANGE MY LIFE?

 

Thrifting

Let’s go thrifting and find a store that sells used hearts and broken pulse points. We can compare colors and beat times, talk about Grandma Ruthie’s necklace that fell off its clasp and your neck straight into the garbage disposal and made a ruckus for months on end, very much like a heart that just wants someone to finally hear it. 

I’ll hang around while you try on plaid exoskeletons and waxed eyelid replicas of celebrities, but I promise I won’t say how goofy and strange you look staring into the mirror with that sprig of lettuce or avocado in your teeth. I might not be able to stop from grinning when you open the hope chest filled with scrolls they’ve recovered from Vesuvius, another good thing that blasphemous AI has done. 

And if you’re not tuckered out after that, we can set up our own garage sale right out there on the lawn like in that Carver story I can never let go of, them kids so you in love but broken up and unable to hold onto the remnants of a future that could have been a past they could have had, that maybe we’d have read about in the hope chest we landed on that weekend we had nothing else to do and went thrifting.