—IT’S THE SEASON OF THE STICKS

 

 

--Are you buying?

--Not whatever you’re selling.

 

…I’m the one in the empty row.

 

…I’ve set my bar for joy a lot lower.

 

…You look like you don’t believe me.

 

--Would you ever be surprised if I actually killed myself?

--Have you read your blog?

 

…Hearing an old man say, “Aww, Fuck,” off the tee is kind of special.

 

…“Do you think I tell you too much?”

 

…Typos—I hate them, but they’re kind of like regrets—you just have to let them go, even if you don’t want to.

 

…I know, I know, I’m almost done.

 

…Yeah, I realize I should have done that when I had the chance. 

 

…I may or may not be. Your call on that.

 

…Do you cry because you have to or because you don’t have a choice?

 

…You got it mostly right. I’ll give you props for that.

 

…You once called me forever, now you still can’t call me back.

 

…This is why you always bring extra books.

 

…You should drive more because God knows you’re a good driver. Patient, too.

 

…“It felt good to give something away, that which hadn’t been asked for.” Lily King

 

…I hope you know what you’re doing.

 

…Words aren’t always the most reliable things.

 

…The really great thing about tomorrow is that it’s there.

 

…Because I’m not sure. I’m never sure. Is that enough?

 

…I’m pretty sure I have nothing left to tell you, but let me know if I’m wrong about that.

 

...Water—what a concept!

 

…What time is it there?

 

…Pentagon Puts Iran War Cost at $25 Billion

 

…Try trying to respond to that irony.

 

…Supreme Court Further Weakens Voting Rights Act

 

…It doesn’t always come out in the wash.

 

…TIME TO STAND

“Try to reduce your stress level, and if you somehow succeed please let me know how in God’s name you did it.”

 

…I’m living in the backseat.

 

…This is a pretty good song, though.

 

…I’m well aware that I cling too much, but I only do so with the ones I love most.

 

…Message to STEVE LEATHAM failed to Send.

 

…You must have had yourself a change of heart like halfway through the drive.

…“She was aware that the story you think you know is never the real one.” Lily King

 

…My mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it.

 

…That was funny for a while.

 

…Wow. I got nothing.

 

…Someday, I think, I won’t look at all.

 

…Talk about a train wreck, I wish you could see it? Shouldn’t you be the one to see it? If not you, I guess I’ve got no one.

 

...I’m going to leave it at that.

 

…It’s been a beautiful, tough night. Have your you ever had one? No? Lucky you.

 

…Here we go.

 

…There you go again.

 

...Silly boy.

 

…Okay, lets let it play. It’s just Middle School Kids after all.

 

…I don’t know much, but I don’t think it’s supposed to feel like this.

 

…Tell me again, please, about being happy.

 

…You don’t always see how other people are shaping you.

 

…“Carry on. You can do this. This is important.” Lily King

 

…There’s a shotgun over there, but I swear I’ve never seen it before.

 

…Maybe we’ll actually make it this time. Expiration date and all that.

 

…“I thought we had time. Despite everything, I believed we had time. Love’s first mistake. Love’s only mistake.” Lily King 

 

…Please let’s not play at anything.

 

…I’ve used up all my tricks.

 

…There is no one alive who can possibly play a song that he loves as much as me on repeat.

 

…You can definitely tinker with poems too much, until they lose their original meaning or intent.

 

…I wrote that a hundred different ways.

 

…The key, with almost everything, is telling yourself, “That’s enough.”

 

…Maybe I’ll be better when I’m older.

 

…Yes, yes, I would. I would love a glass of wine right now.

 

…I must have missed it again.

 

…I guess I don’t know what that means.

 

…Who’s at fault here, and why does it matter?

 

…Remember when you said you felt like  ________?

 

…Who am I kidding?

 

—I DON’T KNOW MUCH, BUT I DO KNOW THIS

 

 

 

Sweet Disposition

 

this morning smells like 

your hair 

before breakfast

and that bluejay has 

your same  

sea glass green eyes

 

but the dog 

the dog still won’t 

move when I toss the ball 

he just sits there 

watching each cloud 

flirt with you

—I GOT YOUR NUMBER OFF THE WALL

 

Peace

 

There was nothing left to do, 

so they took turns shooting each other.

Each bullet hit, blood spraying windows

and wallpaper, all kinds of crimson.

 

In the morning, the one still breathing 

took aim again, the shot just missing his heart 

but ricocheting off a framed photo of sunflowers

leaning into the corn-colored glare where a pair of

children were either hiding or laughing behind them, 

holding up peace sign fingers.

 

—I MADE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL BUT I NEVER GOT PAID

 

…No matter what, it doesn’t get much better than spending time with your best friend.

 

…“I saw the crescent, you saw the whole moon.” The Waterboys

 

…Yeah, well, you say that now.

 

…I don’t have a lot of talents, but I’m really, really good at being sad.

 

…I don’t think I can fake it as good as you can.

 

….Well, that’s a good thing, right?

 

…Whatever it is, it’ll keep till the morning.

 

…“Really? Really?”

 

“I’m out with lanterns, looking for myself.” Emily Dickinson

 

...Boy, get your shit together.

 

…You could if you really wanted to,

 

…You don’t really believe that, do you?

 

…Yeah, I don’t have a good answer for that.

 

...If you haven’t thought of it on your own, I’m not bringing it up.

 

…I’ll still go with Brandon Flowers as the most handsome man on the planet.

 

…This began with a lot of blanks.

 

…If it felt good to do that, then good for you.

 

…Everyone needs a good luck charm. 

 

…I guess what I liked most was that I made you laugh because I’ve never thought I was funny.

 

…Today would be a good day to get paid.

 

 …I’m not sure what I’m trying to do anymore.

 

…Now is as good a time as any to hit the Delete key again.

 

…You know you’re out of luck when a dog whistle won’t work.

 

...Maybe it’s what we needed after all.

 

…Sparky, what say you?

 

…I don’t think it’s the end, but I know that we can’t keep going.

 

…Some days I wouldn’t mind being shot.

 

…The catch is, that’s it.

 

…Sometimes you just have to push “Send” and hope they get what you were trying to express. 

 

…I guess we’ll just have to see.

 

…I really wish I had more than two minutes.

 

…I’m so sick of dragging my two feet.

 

…I think you’re assuming the wrong things about me again.

 

…Anyone can create a file, so just fucking delete it.

 

…You’ve got a lot to tell me, but I’d rather not know.

 

…Hey, whimp, be strong for once.

 

…“I wandered, lonely as a cloud.” Wordsworth

 

…Maybe I’ve always been A LOT and just never knew it.

 

…Don’t worry so much.

…The last thing I need is another superstition, but Thanks.

 

…Looking at Facebook can be extremely depressing. In fact, it almost always is.

 

…You don’t have to remind me that time’s ticking.

 

…You’ve got your finger on the trigger and that’s okay.

 

…Fuck that guy.

 

…I know things can get really rough when you go it alone.

 

…Help me out here. I’m losing things. 

 

…I guess, I just keep wondering, But why?

 

…What, I mean what? Do I have to be sad about?

 

…I think you’ve been trying to say Goodbye for a long time now, and I just wouldn’t let you. My fault.

 

…This really sucks, doesn’t it?

 

…Probably not right now. Right?

 

…Will you water the plants while I’m gone?

 

…“Oops.” What does, “Oops” mean? 

 

…There’s no laughing or sneezing and whatever you do, don’t tell me about my mother,

 

…I just have to get going.

 

…“You’re worried if you don’t leave tonight that you won’t leave at all.” The Pitt

 

…Things change.

 

…“When falsehood can look so like truth, who can assure themselves of certain happiness?” Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

 

…Sometimes you get lucky.

 

…“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” Oscar Wilde

 

…Exactly.

 

…It’s hot as hell out there.

 

…Yeah, I’m making some progress. Or faking it, but don’t tell.

 

…I probably won’t.

 

…“This is a hard place to leave, and a hard place to stay.” The Pitt

 

…Might as well face it—some days, I’m just meant to die.

 

…I was wrong seven ways from Sunday wrong.

 

…Bygones are for people who never cared in the first place.

 

…Paranoia has its occasional benefits.

 

…“Sometimes what you think this is an end is only a beginning.” Agatha Christie.

 

…It’s a sad story. I’ll tell you what, though—there are far sadder.

 

…You’re failing to see the bigger picture. 

 

…So how do you plead?

 

...If you’re going, I’m going.

 

…Can’t lose them all.

 

…Seems like a good time to get really wet.

 

…“They don’t want you, they want your faith.”

 

…Isn’t it strange, like when you know someone through a friend’s description of them, and then you finally meet them, and then you have to mesh what was said all that time with what you see and hear right in front of you?

 

…I don’t think so, but what do I know?

 

…I’m on my hands and knees begging you to kiss me. When I’m not around, do you even miss me?

 

…Maybe we’ll talk about this someday.

 

…It’s good, really good ,to have a friend you can share your shit with and they won’t judge you. I think that’s the definition of a friend.

 

….La-la-la-la-la love on a wire. Looking for a fight.

 

…Maybe I do need therapy. But I’m still going to laugh.

 

…I think I got all that.

 

…That was a different time.

 

…I think I’ll just cry a lot and see what happens.

 

…Not a walk, but a shotgun. That’s a better choice.

 

…I guess we’ll figure it out later.

 

…Who’s at fault here?

 

…Don’t you dare touch the dial.

 

…Props? You owe me a lot for not sending all the songs I wanted to.

 

…I’m not sure how I did that.

 

…MESSAGE sent to Len Kuntz was not sent.

 

…Don’t do me any favors.

 

…That was a bumpy ride.

 

…Maybe we could talk about it someday.

 

…I don’t think I’m in denial anymore, but I’ll have to check with you first.

 

…One thing I’m really good at is being sad.

 

…Some chores are like best friends. (Figure it out.)

 

…Okay. Um, all right. I guess this is what I’m having.

 

…If you meant it, shouldn’t you have insisted? Like really, really insisted. 

 

…It’s been a long time since I’ve heard the word séance. It’s a great word.

 

…Oh, here we go.

 

…Seriously, I can’t talk to you when that’s all I want.

 

…Don’t be a baby.

 

…Way to go strong.

 

…When someone tells you your nails are dirty they either love you or don’t give a damn.

 

…Dude, you have to be careful.

 

…”Careful” is an interesting word, if you really think about it.

 

...I think I really understand that expression now—A moment of weakness.

 

…I’m such a hypocrite. But I’m like you, trying to survive. 

 

…If giggling kids on an airplane bug you, you should Fuck off.

 

…I’m not sure how I would have done this differently.

 

…What the hell are you doing? It’s dark out already.

 

..,You can only hear so many I told you so’s before you lose trust and don’t believe anything at all.

 

…It’s probably a good time to take a break.

 

…Are you a pessimist to think Nothing matters? Because that’s kind of where I’m at right now.

 

…I’m really glad you’re hone…

 

…That was 53-7.

 

...“Yeah okay. Dude—Get your shit together",

 

…That’s perfect.

 

…Yeah, I’m not going to make it. Sorry, in advance.

 

…You know what? I don’t give a Fuck, and maybe you shouldn’t, too.

 

 …If you really wanna kill me, it’s not that hard. Just poke something roughly and it’ll all come back.

 

…This fucking guy again? Can’t he just get a real job?

 

…Shut the fuck up. Stop talking about being a bad friend. You’re the best friend ever.

…Hey, is that the architecture building over there?

 

—THIS IS A SONG FOR ANYONE WITH A BROKEN HEART. THIS IS A SONG FOR ANYONE WHO CAN’T GET OUT OF BED.

 

All This Calm is Unnerving 

 

At the dead end of the lake

the otters are sleeping

Can you see them

their paws clasped like that?

My face is folding

in on itself

It’s that time of year

The wind that was here

left without a note

 

—YOU KNOCKED THE WIND OUT OF ME

 

Clocks

The clock, with its lazy eye, is trying to tell me there’s no time left, that the end is a sheet which won’t fit, a bolt of cloth that can’t quite reach up and cover my head to shield the sun.

When they put you down for good today, I lost whatever armor I ever had. Like an infant digging in sand, I fought the clock’s unravel, waiting for flags to rise so I could call and gossip, as usual, everything they said about this girl I knew and loved so much.

 

—WATCHING THE WHOLE WORLD SHAKE 

 

 

…Good Lord, how long does it take to get a fucking MRI back?

 

…Six says I’ll be there before you know it.

 

…That was absolutely one of the worst ideas ever. Never visit your best friend’s haunts the day before you say Goodbye forever. 

 

…What kind of fool am I?

 

…I got a lot older this week, and I look it.

 

…I think I just need to be sad for a little while longer if you’re okay with that. 

  

…That was never going to happen (and I’m not talking about you) because it was impetuous and dumb.

 

…I know there’s no easy way, but I don’t really know how to lose a best friend.

 

…Even monsters have a brain. So, what do you call that Fucker?

 

…Maybe you can live on protein bars alone. I’m managing so far.

 

…I don’t want you to be gone forever. Are you really gone forever?

 

…The truth is I needed the anguish all to myself. It had nothing to do with therapy.

 

…Well, that hurt. Like, a lot.

 

…What you see as shame, I see as purity.

 

…Why is it so dark?

 

…Right now, I’m scared to death, but ask me tomorrow and maybe it’ll be different..

 

…This shouldn’t matter as much as it does.

 

…Maybe it’s a protection mechanism—one’s unwillingness to feel deeply.

 

…What I’m trying to tell myself right now is, Get your shit together.

 

…How’s it look out there? Seems pretty scary to me.

 

…Most people are stronger than me, and by “most,” I mean anyone.

 

…I’m sorry to hear that.

 

…I’ve heard eating food is a good way to stay alive.

 

…Tell me a about “happy.” Tell me all about it.

 

…How do I even know that’s true?

 

…Well, there you go.

 

…If I’m not careful, I’m really going to be in big trouble yet again.

 

…When you’ve got nothing left, at least mail it in.

 

…Just listen to yourself.

 

--So, I should say nothing?

--Probably.

--So, less said the better?

--Yes. Exactly. 

…“She had eaten real food for so long that she’d forgotten how good nothing tasted.” Allegra Goodman, This Is Not About Us 

 

--How are you?

--Okay. How are you?

--Concerned.

--About what?

--Take your pick.

 

…Isn’t it funny how, when you’re young, you want to be older, and then when you’re old, all you want is to be young again?

 

…I don’t think I’m a pessimist. I think I’m just what you might call a battered optimist.

 

…There’s nothing to be done with feelings but to feel them, no matter how much they hurt.

 

…People always say I get too sad too easily. But maybe there’s something there.

 

…Let what go?

 

…Everybody has a story. But not everybody has the words.

 

…I don’t have to tell you—there are a million different ways to tell a story.

 

…How about ours.

 

…Use what you have. Then paint and paint and paint.

 

…The problem with a sunset is that it never stays still.

 

…“Sadness may be many things, but it is rarely stupid.” Allen Levi, Theo of Golden

 

…We live in a world now where there has to be an answer for everything. We can’t just allow ourselves to dwell in the wonder of not knowing.

 

…You apologize an awful lot, you know?

 

…I don’t think I have an answer for that.

 

…So many things get decided in a split second.

 

…When someone tells you to “Fuck off,” it’s startling. So, don’t tell me “Fuck” has lost its verve.

 

…The answers are out there—all you have to do is ask.

 

…“I’m really trying to find something nice to say. I really am.” Tony Hoagland, on his deathbed

 

…Here’s the kind of person you want to model your behavior after, here’s the kind of “person” you want for your President:

“I know why Tucker Carlson, Megyn Kelly, Candace Owens, and Alex Jones have all been fighting me for years, especially by the fact that they think it is wonderful for Iran, the Number One State Sponsor of Terror, to have a Nuclear Weapon,” Trump wrote in a lengthy post on his Truth Social platform. “Because they have one thing in common, Low IQs. They’re stupid people, they know it, their families know it, and everyone else knows it, too!”

 

…Supreme Court remade by Trump ushers in historic defeats for civil rights

The sharply conservative Supreme Court that President Donald Trump’s three appointees remade is the first since at least the 1950s to reject civil rights claims in a majority of cases involving women and minorities, according to a detailed analysis conducted for The Washington Post.

 

…What’s embarrassing is reading it all back, which is why you never should.

 

…There’s repeating yourself, then there’s repeating yourself on the very same page. Neither is good, but the latter is especially appalling, especially when it’s me doing it.

 

…“It was so much better to do, to make, to give, than to sit in silence.” Allegra Goodman, This Is Not About Us

 

...Please if anything, don’t let me be stupid.

 

…Stupid is as stupid does.

 

…There are no badges for crying over someone at 4 am, and there shouldn’t be.

 

… You’re a lot. But I still love you.

 

…“That’s hilarious.” Is it? If you say so.

 

…This seems like a good time to go to sleep.

 

…No. just leave it there. Someone will get it eventually.

 

…I don’t even know. 

 

…Wow, seeing that lit up feels really spooky and claustrophobic.

 

…Maybe I’m not authorized. That would make sense.

 

…Oh gosh, there you go.

 

…If you change your mind, I’m within reach.

 

…Do you understand what that was?

 

…I could be up here killing someone, and no one would know or care.

 

…Care is a pretty important and often overlooked word.

  

…“How could you? How could you leave like that? Were you punishing me? Is that what you were doing?” Allegra Goodman, This Is Not About Us