—GO ON AND SWING FOR THE FENCES, TAKE A SHOT AT THE MOON

 

…Five million…It looks like we’ll be hitting 5,000,000 views on this site over the weekend. Thank you so much for showing up and for letting me share my thoughts and scribbles with you. I’m forever grateful. Truly.

 

...“It’s all I’ve been focused on for so long. I’m not sure who I am without it.” Florence Knapp, The Names

 

…That might be as close as I ever get to devotion.

 

…Beer: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

 

…Much like the bread I just cooked twice, I’m toast.

 

...Once you’ve ridden the white horse, it’s hard to go back to the mule.

 

…Don’t build them a watch; tell them what time it is.

 

…“’You’re doing a good job.’ he whispered. It was the first time he’d ever said such a thing to himself.” Lily King, The English Teacher

 

…WTF? Just, WTF? Every day…

 

America’s 250th birthday celebration increasingly centers on Trump

President Donald Trump has spent much of his second term putting his personal stamp — and in many cases his image — on American institutions. Now his eponymous impulses have expanded to the celebration of America’s 250th anniversary.

Trump’s face will be stamped on a celebratory gold coin marking the semiquincentennial. His stern visage will peer from commemorative passports. Administration officials are pushing for a $250 bill featuring the president’s portrait. On Trump’s 80th birthday, June 14, the White House lawn will transform into a ring for a “Freedom 250” UFC fight.

The most visible elements of the national celebration are taking shape not in classrooms, fairgrounds or parade routes, but in a slate of events driven by the White House and centered on Trump. Through a presidential task force he created by executive order, naming himself as chairman.

 …

Trump library says no Twitter DMs can be found, despite evidence he sent them The newly operational Trump Presidential Library, the entity responsible for preserving records from the White House, says that it cannot find a single Twitter direct message sent by a president who tweeted more than 25,000 times during his first administration.

 …

Trump diverts millions from national park visitor fees for July 4 celebration, D.C. fountains That money is being spent in Washington at the expense of the rest of the nation’s park system, advocates say, which has a $24 billion backlog of badly needed infrastructure repairs and improvements, known as “deferred maintenance.”

…Everywhere you look.

 

…Okay, how about those Mariners?

 

…“If there was one sound he could take with him to eternity, that would be it.” Lily King, The English Teacher

 

…Just turn it on. Forget about off.

 

…Oh, God, you’re way off track.

 

…Am I the first clown, or the second?

 

…What was my point?

 

…“She felt like one of Stuart’s girls, young and weightless, with nothing but mysteries ahead.” Lily King, The English Teacher

 

…No one’s ever told me to stop talking so much, until now.

 

…I had nowhere to put my eyes but out the window.

 

…Is this what a foxhole really is?

 

…A lot of good you can really do me from over there.

 

--What are you hiding back there?

--My mother.

 

…Let’s not go through this again.

 

…I don’t know. I’m not sure I really care at this point.

 

…“There was something special about this boy. The way he tipped his head up to her when he ordered, the way he maintained eye contact even when it clearly pained him.” Lily King, The English Teacher

 

…What feels truer than that?

 

…Look at those guys with all of their little jokes.

 

…I’m just looking for the bathroom.

 

…I think you should do exactly what you need to do.

 

…That went about as well as to be expected.

 

…Here you go. You can go ahead and open it now.

 

…“How did you go about convincing yourself this instant right now was real and solid when it felt so flimsy in your hands?” Lily King, The English Teacher

 

…I probably owe you a better explanation, but you might have to give me another year or two.

 

…If I’m not losing my hair, why do I keep finding strands everywhere?

 

…Now we’re something else, though I don’t know what that is.

 

…“What was wrong with him? Why was he behaving like this when he was so close to getting some answers?” Lily King, The English Teacher

 

…You’re not like all the rest.

 

…Is there a word for missing something you never had?

 

…Maybe it’s all about courage.

 

…Be careful not to burn yourself.

 

…Little by little, because you don’t want any clumps.

 

…It’s difficult but the result is always mind blowing.

 

…“Optimism gets a little tiring after a while.” Bailey Kuntz

 

…Me and Oedipus, we’re tight.

 

…What do you think our real purpose is here?

 

…It’s pointless to try and be anything else.

 

...“She was terrified he’d take his arms away. Stay stay stay. He was the only skin she had.” Lily King, The English Teacher

 

…Some things are a lot better if they’re left as fantasies.

 

…Yeah, you know, that’s not funny.

 

…Sure, but I’ve heard that before.

 

…What would you choose if you had to?

 

…Some people actually want to hear the whole truth.

 

…You can still do it. There’s still time.

 

…Do you know where we’re going? No? I don’t either.

 

…How can you get any luckier than that?

 

…This is it and I’m right here. Just look.

 

—IT IS WHAT IT IS

 

 

Mice

 

If I was more skilled 

no one would die or get 

wounded in this poem 

and every mother who 

showed up would have 

her arms flung open 

for a hug. No child would 

be raped and sodomized 

near midnight when the 

only things listening 

were frightened mice. 

If I had enough talent 

this might even be a poem 

people would memorize 

and read aloud when 

they needed a little jolt

to make their day feel 

better than it actually is.

 

—YOU WIN AGAIN

On the Way to See Dad

 

I took an Uber to your funeral. The driver was eating a carcass of some sort, his face bleeding motor oil across the steering wheel. He was robed and everything smelled like grease and regret.

He kept trying to tell me something or warn me but his voice sounded like chowder or the gibberish a phantom might moan when there is no more human flesh left to eat. 

He wasn’t in any hurry and you were still dead and I really wanted to be sorry but there were maggots poking through the headrest wiggling their gluey blind eyes at me. 

When I leapt out of the car on 1-5, half the vehicle was aflame, the driver’s torso smoldering black tar. For a brief moment, the smoke broke apart in the shape of a face that could have been yours or anybody’s.   

 

—YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT

 

…I know what I want right now—a freshie.

 

…Why is there that instinct to make things seem better than they are? Maybe it’s optimism? I sure wish I had that gene.

 

…He was embarrassed by this—his need to be needed.

 

…Till the stars grow cold…

 

…I’ve got a good feeling you’re going to be just fine.

 

…I just hope you like it.

 

…And in the end, it’s you—fork high, eating eggs that kill me. 

 

--Am I fucked up?

--100 percent.

 

…Or…maybe you can just stop being such a Dick.

 

…That’s it? That’s all you’ve got? Really? 

 

…Maybe I am a charity case.

 

…I could do without some memories.

 

…That’s how you know.

 

…“She’d forgotten this sound existed. A sound she loved.” Eric Puchner, The Dream State

 

…I looked, and it’s still sunny out somewhere.

 

…Sometimes you don’t know how good, or bad, those apples are until you get home and open up the bag.

 

…“It was dark, like always, but good dark.”

 

…That’s a sign, if I ever saw one.

 

…Every space has its boundary. Sounds kind of heebe jeebe, but I think it’s actually true,

  

…Yeah, I got it. With my eyes closed, I got it.

 

…Whatever you do, don’t rub your eyes.

 

…This looks like an ambush.

 

--Okay, what’ve we got here? 

--Another Dick? 

--Shocker.

…Everyday in the How-the-Hell-Can-He-Get-Away-With-That? category, there’s something. Today’s:

Dell inks $9.7 billion Pentagon contract after Trump acquires stock, praises company Ethics experts say the president’s recent investments in the tech company create a conflict of interest. Trump has repeatedly praised the company at public events, and government disclosure forms show that on Feb. 10 his portfolio acquired stock in Dell Technologies valued between $1 million and $5 million.

 

…What’s The Four Minute Rule?

 

…Five out of ten is not that great.

 

…When you’re told something you’ve created is “stunning,” it’s hard not to believe they’re lying.  

 

…Do I really need to hear that?

 

…Go get some coffee, Doug.

 

…Give it up for the team.

 

…It’s hard not to take it personally.

 

…“I know what I want to say, but it’s hard. I’ve been trying to say it for weeks now. They’re just words, but it’s so hard.” Lisa Ridzen, When the Cranes Fly South

 

…I’m learning to embrace Goodbye.

 

…Muscle memory is overrated.

 

…Every time I close my eyes I just see you written in big lights. You know what it says? ‘Stop making this hurt.’

 

…I got a rash on my face from what you wrote.

 

…Granta is one the most esteemed print literary journals there is. Each year they hold a contest, The Commonwealth Prize for best short fiction. This year there were 7,800 (!) entries and the winner was later found to have used AI to write the entire piece.

That’s pretty bleak on a lot of levels.

 

…Is a handful okay?

 

…This way breath. This way life. Through here.

 

…“Believe me when I tell you that everything is temporary. Everything. There’s not a thing in this world that will not change, including you.” Alexis M. Smith, Glacier

 

…I woke up with a hat full of leaves.

 

…What did you think was going to happen?

 

…"If you can find joy playing to nine people in a bar, that never leaves you," Jack Antonoff

 

…Doesn’t matter who you are—no one likes to be second-guessed.

 

…Well, that’s going to go down soon, just like the sun does when you’re south of the border,

 

...I’m not too worried about that, but maybe I should be.

 

…When I was talking about balance earlier, I meant a tray with lots of drinks on it.

 

--Look at those guys. They have to be drug-dealers, right?

--And I bet they’re very good at their job.

 

...“It’s a strange product of infatuation, she thinks, to want to tell someone about mundane things. The awareness of another person suddenly sharpens your sense, so that the little things come into focus and the world seems more beautiful and complicated.” Alexis M. Smith, Glacier

 

…I’m aware that my memory lets me down from time to time.

 

…Sometimes I just need to have a little rest.

 

…I don’t know what "really bad" means anymore.

 

…How hard can it be to just tell the truth?

 

…There, that’s the last one.

 

…What did you think? That everything would just go back to normal?

 

…Silence is about the only weapon I have now.

 

…Always push “Save.”

 

…You always knew more about that sort of thing than me.

 

…Stop being such an idiot.

 

…Is it normal to take this long?

 

…I think your census must be wrong.

 

…All these fucking bridges.

 

…I get that, that ground pepper means different things to different people.

 

…“I’m lying here, about to die, and I just don’t know.” Lisa Ridzen, When the Cranes Fly South

 

…I hope you find your way, friend.

 

…That’ll have to do.

—THROW AWAY THE COBWEBS AND THE SORROW

 

 

Plastic

 

Sometimes you don’t 

know how good the apples are 

until you take them home 

and open up the bag, 

is what she said to me 

after we’d had three years

and twelve days together.

Our cat, named Socrates, 

looked up at her with

a metallic glint, evil or otherwise,

and I felt ambushed 

by the love I thought I still held.

There were children 

laughing in the hall—

gibberish sounds, like God

snoring or chuffing at the

same time. Some kid stole 

the flagpole, hoping to

hock it for twenty bucks 

or to resurrect a future.

We were still in bed then,

caterpillared like content cocoons,

poor but rich as fuck, 

you jabbering in your sleep again—

Give that girl a drink!—

as everything crackled and shrank

like the plastic on a hot day 

we would never get back.

—WHO’S THE GOOD GUY IN THIS STORY?

 

Sweater

 

I think of that too 

especially on Mother’s Day

Mom stuffing us inside 

the station wagon and 

peeling gravel pinging

off metal as if she’d become

some kind of stunt driver 

Dad still standing at the 

window in his urine-stained 

white underwear waving 

like a phantom or wax figure 

the husk of us wondering

what now what again 

what are we are we even 

what people call a family 

and can you have one 

if you live in a trailer

until the next day when 

Mom drove home and 

parked the coffin-car sideways 

and Dad met us before any

door was opened wearing a sweater 

though he’d owned one 

and never would again.

 

—I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS BROKEN TIL I WANTED TO CHANGE

 

 

…“Darling, I’m afraid you are very wrong.” Margo’s Got Money Troubles, Rufi Thorpe

 

…Another civilization might think, “This is the way to go!”

 

…You don’t have to tell me whatever it is.

 

…You can never go wrong being gracious.

 

…What happened to us, anyway?

 

…Love me or leave me, that’s as good as it’s going to get.

 

…That wasn’t supposed to be it, but at least we don’t have to carry that anymore.

 

…You don’t want to do that right now, or anymore, or ever again, trust me.

 

…Some people still trust me.

 

…There’s always the restroom window.

 

…Author’s Note: Nothing I post here on Friday’s, or any day, is necessarily chronological or actually true.

 

…It’s your call.

 

…I could people watch all day.

 

…It could be weather-beaten skin or just a well-lived life staring back at you smiling.

 

…I can’t remember what I was trying to remember.

 

…It’s called fiction. How much more is there to understand?

 

…“How had she known what parts of herself to change?” Margo’s Got Money Troubles, Rufi Thorpe

 

…I think I’m getting confused about what’s real and what isn’t.

 

…It doesn’t matter what it is, only that I don’t know it.

 

…I keep thinking things would be different if I had a dog whistle, but, nope.

 

…There’s nothing more precious in the entire world than a three-year-old girl dancing by a water fountain.

 

…See, before all that, you didn’t know I’m an idiot.

 

…Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m crying.

 

....“It’s the greatest pain and the greatest love you’ll ever know.” Margo’s Got Money Troubles, Rufi Thorpe.

 

...Some stories never die and some do. It’s a lucky thing either way to ever have had a story. 

 

…Words can be made hollow, and once they’re hollow, anything can be done with them.

 

…The good and the bad, they always seem to arrive tangled up together.

 

…There’s The Breakfast Club and then there’s Wednesday Morning Club. It’s not even close, which one was more epic.

 

…I feel like I’m taking too long to get to the point.

 

…Maybe I’ll have an answer in a few months, or years, or never, which would be an answer.

 

…How could I be so blind? Even after cataract surgery?

 

…Without context art is just art, a different kind of art.

 

…I have to admit, I’m really sad to lose that coat.

 

…It’s amazing what you don’t find if you aren’t looking for it.

 

…If you fall in love with a book, is it the character(s) or the author you fall in love with?

 

…How do we find a way not to waste all that?

 

…Someone told me I should keep these Friday posts more succinct, so I’m going to try that. Just this once, anyway. I’ll keep the other 32 pages on my desktop for later.

 

…If you’re not careful, you’re going to get stuck here all night.

 

…It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shiny day.