—BRAND NEW SHIRT, IT’S A LITTLE EXPENSIVE

 

…The worst thing in the world is seeing your child suffer.

…There’s no greater truth than that.

…I remember a time when I actually believed ours was the greatest country in the world. Now I’m certain it’s one of the very worst.

…People who say it’s not the country, it’s our current government, fail to understand one of the most important principals America was founded on, that we’re a democracy, meaning the plurality wins, meaning a majority of us voted this current government into office thinking it would be a good idea.

…Okay okay okay.

…But, how about those Mariners?

…This short one looks too short. And, hey, can you hand me a straw please?

…I don’t care how you get here, just get here, if you can. 

…I just want you to love it as much as I love it. Is that too much to ask? You can even lie if you have to. You can lie all the time, if that’s what it takes, and I’ll believe you every time.

 

...Maybe we can talk about it later, if you’re not too busy. 

 

…Hey, now, lend some independence.

 

…Why did I used to hate Friday so much? There must’ve been a really good reason.

 

…Oh, yeah, I just thought of it.

…You’re the only person on the planet that knows what it means when I say I want to get paid. That must mean something.

…Poor Rocky. I think he spends even more time alone than Alex did. You can’t really blame him for being onery, even if it’s completely obnoxious. 

…You’re so fucking gorgeous.

…“You’re sweet and a liar.”

…I don’t have an answer for that.

…But don’t most writers lie?

…Somehow I’ve got a lot to say, and nothing to say at all.

…Who puts a plastic rose on a guy’s necktie while he’s lying in a barren bathtub right before he's about to get married? Oh yeah, some random friend who loves you.

…That was a random thing I remembered today.

…Do you think you might be the angriest driver ever?

…You know what’s annoying as Fuck? It’s (…)

…“Check your rings.” No, fucking check yourself.

…Gosh, really? I don’t think you wanna know.

…It’s pretty special, and rare, to meet someone at this point in your life who becomes a friend, someone you can share real life stuff with.

…It seems like, if you kill someone, you should be willing to die as well.

…But as it stands, I need some more to drink.

…I know that look upon your face.

…That’s not really an endorsement.

…“Fuck, man, you’re wrong. Taylor Swift is the nicest person ever.”

…If you’re gonna open it, you gotta at least have some.

…“What I like about her is that she makes being neurotic look fun.” Kim Deal, on Olivia Rodrigo.

…The real problem is ______.

…Honey, turn off the light.

…You can spell “hard” any way you want, but it’s still hard.

…Why does everyone have to die?

…The problem is, even when you’re ugly, you’re not.

…Wait, let me wipe my glasses.

…You have to keep your chin up or else the sun is going to get you.

…I think I’d take, “I see what you mean” as opposed to nothing.

…I can tell a lot has changed, but that’s on me.

…I can barely lift my eyes.

…Well, we’ll see about that eventually.

…Sorry I’m late, I was busy emptying my pockets

…It’s still magnificent.

…Those birds. I love those messy birds so much.

…Isn’t that the whole point of art, to make you feel something—even if it’s depressing or sickening, instead of giddy and sitcom romantic?

…I’ve got a poem in my head, but there are still oysters in my ears.

…Oh, well, that’s miles away.

…I think Pete’s been lifting weights.

…You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. Right?

…I promised not to be “that guy,” yet sometimes I definitely am him. Or her. Or someone who very much resembles him or her. (You get the drift.)

…Asking you to listen to new music and just try to appreciate it is like me asking you do believe in Jesus when you’re at a turn signal and the light’s changed to green but no cars are moving—Jesus, can you just fucking go?! 

…If you can see me coming, you can watch me go.

…I push “Save” a lot now. Maybe more than I do anything. 

…And I don’t mean that in the way you’re thinking.

…Pardon me for asking.

…Cheese won’t melt in the fire, chili hit sweet in the sugar.

…I might be a little obsessed.

…Where do we just get $88 billion, and then nearly another billion for a ballroom? Nothing makes sense unless he’s the antichrist, though I know he’s not close to that smart:

Trump wants $88 billion from Congress for Iran war

…Somebody’s telling me something, but they have to speak up.

…You surprised me.

…Do I really want to know that? You tell me.

…I’m not sure why you wouldn’t ever want someone to put their head in your lap if you’re lucky enough to have them want to do that.

…It’s going to be beautiful no matter where you are. I guarantee it.

…That was really stupid, but somehow it worked out okay.

...I think I just need to take my phone off of “Sleep” but I’m not sure.

…It’s a problem when you don’t recognize your own handwriting.

…True story—it’s all clouds now.

…You said I love you like you meant it, but then again that mosquito looked full when it stuck my arm and stayed there.

…I said, “I think I’ll have another,” she said, “Jynx.” Now we’re paying $18 dollars for a drink.

…I’ve probably said that before. Maybe even lots of times.

…I don’t blame you for a second.

…There’s no way anyone is eating that meatloaf.

…It’s annoying—all the places you can be lonely.

--But do you really want to? 

--What I want is to get it over with it already and for you to stop talking so much.

…

Members of alleged antifa group in Texas get decades-long sentences for violent protest outside ICE facility

Eight people got prison terms ranging from 30 to 100 years for their roles in a protest that turned violent outside an immigration detention center last summer.

…

Tillis: Pirro can’t be taken ‘seriously’ for prosecuting alleged reflecting pool vandalism

Sen. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.) is blasting U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro for threatening to prosecute people accused of vandalizing the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool to the fullest extent of the law after President Trump granted blanket pardons last year to people convicted of crimes related to the Jan. 6, 2021, storming of the U.S. Capitol.

 …We are a country gone wrong, and I wish I could say I’m almost done, but…

 Supreme Court rules asylum seekers may be turned around, siding with Trump

 

U.S. Supreme Court rules on 2nd Amendment

The U.S. Supreme Court has rejected states' right to forbid licensed gun owners from carrying a firearm into stores or some private businesses open to the public

The U.S. Supreme Court is allowing President Donald Trump’s effort to terminate legal protections for Syrian and Haitian migrants

 …That’s one bad robot, and I don’t mean it in a good way. 

…No one does this. Nope.

…I guess you’d have to read it first.

…“You time out awfully fast.” 

…How did that alarm not go off?

…It might be total shit, but I’m always writing.

…I could love you until my very last day and you’d never know it.

…“Dude, you’ve never been called a liar?” 

…It’s like a card you have to punch.

…“If you’ve been injured in a car accident, we can help.”

…It’s another flavor of the week, but I like it.

…Alert: Assault reported less than 4.9 miles from your home

…“It feels like we’re about to get into a really big fight.”

…I mean, Come on.

…Time could change, but I’ll give you my number.

…Here’s what I often tell myself: No. Don’t.

…Thank you for sharing this with me.

 

…Last night I did this thing where I talked to random people at the bar…

 

…Can’t you just say Fuck and mean it?

 

…I was a virgin, too, once.

 

…“Sex is just weird hippie shit.” Sid Vicious

 

…It’s so beautiful out that it doesn’t even seem real.

 

…Before you go for good, just ask (and answer) yourself the only question that’s important—does this matter to me, and why?

 

 …I used to have more confidence in college...

 

…Rock solid is something I’ve never been.

 

…STOP ANXIETY NOW!!

 

…Okay, I’ll stop now.

 

–IF YOU CAN’T TELL, I WANNA DANCE WITH YOU

 

Jars

      Let’s open up a Kool-Aid stand and drink every jar we make. I’ll wipe the grape smear off your lips, and you’ll smack me back playfully. We’ll be young again, in love, and you’ll be alive again, the girl next door I used to fantasize about when she picked dandelions and put them in her hair like three simple suns just out of reach.

 

—I’M NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY

 

 Troy

 

How do you die

before your fourth birthday,

when there’s cake and candles inside,

balloons everywhere?

 

I used to think water was gentle,

a kind of savior, or Jesus

who keeps his eye out for

the stray duckling.

 

Was he trying to swim

for the first time that morning or

did the dock unexpectedly

jolt beneath him?

 

Who’s to say but God

or that misty universe people

reference when they need to,

requesting thoughts and prayers.

 

I didn’t know the boy,

not even his name,

but I know this lake, it’s

called “Flowing.” I’ll call

 

that kid Troy, think of him when

the water winks at me,

and waves roll out,

one after the other.

—I KNOW, THIS IS ABNORMAL BUT 

Absence 

No one’s 

going to school today.

Instead, there are 

shell casings 

scattered across the 

bookshelf beside a book

by Judy Blume that’s

been banned

and so maybe I don’t

give a fucking Fuck, 

except I do

--I mean those kids, 

they could be mine 

or yours, 

or anyone’s.

Happy Father’s Day.

 

—AND SHE TOLD ME I REMIND HER OF TED MOSBY

…Do you like him, or like the actor? 

…Somehow, I lost 80 pages of these Friday blog thoughts/gibberish. But there’s more where that came from.

...Happy Juneteenth!

…I’m trying to work it all out before you leave again. Yeah, that’s a story.

…It was bound to happen eventually, and what did that other stuff even mean to you? 

…Here’s what I tell myself: Just grab onto something and don’t fall.

…I’ll try not to be depressed if you aren’t.

…“Write me a poem where I don’t end up in an urn.”

…You gotta pay for it somehow.

…I don’t believe that anymore. You’ve already expressed yourself pretty clearly.

…Beginning is easy. It’s everything after that that’s hard, that matters. And I know that’s a lot of “that’s” but that’s the point.

…If some of the chapbooks I’ve read lately become best-sellers, it would literally be poetic justice.

…Chair it.

…Or vice-versa.

…Maybe you should take a nap.

...She said, Who? I said the actor. 

…I’m half a day late to the party. Again.

…After all, I really like Josh Radner. 

…“There are no small lives, there are no small stories, there are no small people.” Richard Russo

…It took a computer to come up with that.

…Go ahead, rub my nose in it.

…The weird thing is, it seems like that already happened.

…It’s okay. It’s probably good to purge every now and then, though there was some real gold (and time) in that document that got deleted.

…Got me in my head again. Kinda wanna call you out. You said you wanna be alone. Feel like driving.

…Yeah, whenever you’re ready, I guess.

…I know, I know, I’m the worst guesser on the planet.

…Speaking of planets, don’t we live in a great world/country?

…

… White House UFC Fighter Josh Hokit Shouts ‘Michelle Obama Is a Man’ in Post-Match Interview

While Josh Hokit was a big winner at Sunday night’s UFC Freedom 250 event, a post-match quip he delivered was designed to stir up controversy.

After he won his heavyweight fight against Derrick Lewis during the June 14 fight on the White House lawn, Hokit was interviewed on the Paramount+ broadcast by Joe Rogan. At the end, he shouted, “And lastly, Michelle Obama is a man. Am I right, America?” seemingly out of nowhere.

 

… White House removes Ariana Grande song from TikTok video after she blasted ICE for its 'barbaric, inhumane, heinous nonsense'

 

…

Records reveal $600M estimate for Trump’s ballroom project, with half from taxpayers

 

…You can’t get any farther away before you start coming back to it again.

…I love those things, those moments with others like you, where almost everything someone says, you say back, “That’s a good first line.” They jumpstart your imagination and creativity in a way that most people can’t understand.

…I’ve lost a lot, but it’s pretty crazy how much I’ve gained.

…I may have made up that word.

…It’s been a long time since I stayed up staring at the stars.

 …Okay, I’ll admit it, how I was wrong about Noah and the Whale.

…Alert: Shooting reported less than 5.7 miles from your home

…Was it something I did, or something I said?

…I leave so much shit behind.

…There must be a word for that.

…It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

…“Why would you do that?” Exactly—why? 

During the Giants' annual Pride Night celebration, which honors San Francisco's LGBTQ+ community, four MLB San Francisco players protested the team's hats, which featured a rainbow version of the team's logo.

Three pitchers, Landen Roupp, JT Brubaker and Ryan Walker, wrote a Bible verse on their Pride Night hats. The verses all referenced similar passages in Genesis.

The protest has become the latest lightning rod in the cultural discussion around LGBTQ+ acceptance and inclusivity in places like Major League Baseball.

The Giants have tried to keep their heads down amid the drama, but team broadcaster Mike Krukow shared his thoughts on the players and how their decision doesn't align with the demographics and culture that San Francisco and the Bay Area want to foster.

"I think that you have the right as a player to believe and say whatever you want," Krukow told the San Francisco Chronicle. "But you have to take a broader look at the city you're playing in. What makes San Francisco so great is the acceptance of others — ethnicities, opinions, cultures — and that extends to the gay community.

"I would just hope they would understand the demographic of San Francisco and respect people for who they are. What you do to your uniform, that has weight to it. You can offend people. And why would you do that?"

…There are a lot of different ways to spell “train wreck.”

…I may over-use the word “astonishing.”

…Eaves-dropping is a little bit evil, yet it’s also the best. Cheers!

…Just tell me you’re not happier now.

…It’s not sexy if it’s not sexy.

…You’ve gotta look out for spiders. Sometimes they’re everywhere.

…Hotter than a pepper sprout.

…I really disliked Johnny Cash’s music as a boy because my parents played it all the time, and there was that silent friction between us, one of the reasons I turned out the way I did and can’t fix anything. But now I see how he was unique, a treasure really.

…Sometimes it seems like everything is performative, even loneliness.

…I’m almost at the trouble spot. Zoinks.

…“I’m not sure I’ve got my arms around it.”

…I love your shadow, but I love your smile more.

….I really hope there’s more than me.

…I don’t know why it does that.

…I’m writing this in the dark again.

…Go ahead and throw those pillows all you want.

…Anything can mean anything if you want it to.

…There’s never been a time like this before, and I pray to God there never is again.

…I believe in Jesus, but I think the problem with a lot of Christians is they leave Christ out of it.

…Elizabeth Montgomery was a terrible actress, but I had a huge crush on her. I’m not sure if I was in love with her or if I just wished she was my mom.

…How can you possibly love watching the local news cover the weather when you live in Palm Springs and it’s the same fucking weather every day.

…Sunday is going to be the longest day of the year, like literally the longest.

…Sometimes a hug is all you need. Sometimes that means everything.

…I know that it’s hard. It’s hard for me, too.

…“You’re killing me, Smalls.”

…No, you’re not wrong. All I can do is write poems and stories about people who live tragic lives and often die along the way. I love deer, giraffes, elephants, my family and friends, and that’s about all I have to offer.

…So, that’s what that was about.

…I could use some repairs.

…I guess you just keep swinging, even if you’re a bad guesser.

…You’ve got to stop with that leg kick.

…“Take care of your heart, young man.” 

…Do you ever fear choosing incorrectly?

…I hate that Fucker, and if you’re a human being, you should, too.

…You’re not doing yourself any favors by being like that.

…Fighting fire with fire.

…How do you die before you’re even four-years old? People should not die before they’re four-years old. People shouldn’t die at all.

…I’m one of the lucky few, and I know it.

…Your profile is popular. You appeared in 83 searches this week

…“Ladies and gentlemen on board. Congratulations! You’ve just set a record. We’ve completely run out of alcohol in the first hour and a half of this flight.”

…Sometimes it takes a lot of time to get there, and then you have to decide whether it’s worth the blisters.

…“The atomic unit of worry is the “What if” statement: What if an event that I fear comes to pass? What if I don’t get this thing that I really want? What if my best-laid plans go awry? What if the worst happens? To be human is to lie awake in the night, mind wrapped around the axle of a “what if.” Melissa Kirsch

…But what if it all works out?

…No matter how it ends, that was a great story, and no one can tell me differently.

…Yeah, it’s a killer, but it’s better than being dead.

…How about those letters?

…If anyone’s up right now, send me a text and I swear I’ll reply. 

 …“Veiled” is a good word. And an important one.

…I think you just have to let your typos go, or else they’ll drive you insane.

...The last thing you ever want to hear is, “That’s a nice poem.”

…You’ve gotta be smarter than that. It’s your heart, dude.

…There’s only one place I look, and still, I usually get it wrong.