—I CAN SEE THE SUN SHINING ON YOUR SOUL

 

 

…Sleeping still seems so stupid. I know it’s necessary and vital, but really, doesn’t it seem bizarre? Like the worst waste of time ever?

 

…I woke up missing Lucy again.

 

…Someday someone’s going to explain fate to me in a way that makes sense.

 

…The time to tell people you love them is when you love them.

 

…“Where the fuck is Wallace?”

 

…My grandkids are parakeets. How’re yours doing? Send photos please.

 

…Somehow, someway, “let’s keep it gold.”

 

…So, you’ve got a watch that alerts you when your pulse rises above 120 bpm, but what then?

 

…Watching the M’s when you already know what’s going to happen? Pathetic, or a very attached fan?

 

…No matter what, never write lol or make a heart shape with your fingers. Just don’t.

 

…“Sunny is munny.” Yep. That’s true.

 

…Teaching in schools that enslaved people benefited from being slaves is beyond abdominal.

 

…I’m learning to like the wrinkles even if they don’t like me back.

 

…My new man crush is Dennis Quaid. 70? Seriously? Come on.

 

…What I know for sure is that I don’t know much.

 

…Some things seem so long ago and some don’t seem like they even happened.

 

…Sometimes “a short one” fixes it all, and sometimes it opens up a whole new can of worms.

 

…The kids are getting married tomorrow. Just 23. Now that’s cuter.  

 

…There are regrets, and there is ___, which are both the same and not the same.

 

…I wouldn’t wish this anxiety on anyone.

 

…It’s been a while since I’ve thought about a song/video as much as I have, “The Emperor’s New Clothes.”

 

…Sharing, “I wonder am I really okay, am I really safe, do I need to call someone, do I need help” is vulnerability at its apex.

 

…There are a lot of writers out there obsessed with dragons. Who knew?

 

…Kids who love the lake and frolic in it is a wonderful thing.

 

…I read over 20 submissions yesterday. A tenth of them were about dragons.

 

…I have always been a huge Dylan fan, but I have a nagging suspicion that he doesn’t really care about much. He’s just a genius and couldn’t give a fuck about anything.

 

…I wonder if “Truth or Dare” or “Spin the Bottle” are still a thing.

 

…In my office, right behind me, are all of the print journals and anthologies I’ve been fortunate to be in, close to 200. One is dated 2011. My God but that seems like a long time ago.

 

…The thing about advice is it’s always different, so you have to be very selective who you ask it from, and even then…

 

…I wonder what you’re supposed to do when words are not enough.

 

…I hate gossip, and people who do it, because I understand its genesis, so I have to step back and slap myself when I catch myself doing it.

 

…You only get your parents, and they can be great or horrible, but they’re still yours, they’re still the markers of what parents are supposed to be.

 

…Tupperware as a puke receptacle doesn’t seem like what it was intended for, but it works.

 

…“Skullduggery.” Now there’s an interesting word.

 

…“Nothing Compares”

 

I didn’t want to be strong. I didn’t even think I was strong, but everyone else thought I was.

 

There was no therapy growing up, so that’s why I joined a musical group. I didn’t want to be a pop star. I just wanted to scream.

 

My mother was a beast and the only way I was able to soothe her was with my voice.

 

For one whole week, I was left locked in the garden. I remember looking up at the house where one light was still on, and screaming at her (my mom) to let me out, screaming over and over, until finally that light went dark and I was left trying to stay warm in the grass somehow.

 

The thing about, “Troy,” is it’s not a song. It’s a fucking testament.

 

It didn’t matter that people would shit all over me, though it hurt. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t a pop star any longer because I never wanted to be one in the first place.

 

(Referencing the video for “Nothing Compares 2 U”) You fell in love with that tear because it was a mirror. 

 

They tried to bury me, they did. But they didn’t realize I was a seed.

 

--Sinead O’Connor