—WELL, THE NIGHT DOES FUNNY THINGS INSIDE A MAN

 

 

… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-iBmzantJo

  

…What I try to do now is think, If I had just one month left, who are the people I’d like to spend it with?

 

“I think the thing is, we both realized that we didn't have that much time. And I accepted him for who he was, and I didn't expect him to change, and I think he felt that for me, too. I liked his drama, and he needed me. And I loved him. I really loved him.” Leaving Las Vegas

 

…Some of life’s greatest mysteries (sans question marks): 

1.) If God is God, where did God come from, before he was God. 

2.) If Jesus is God, and He knows absolutely everything, even what’s going to happen before it has, happened, why then Eve, and that snake, and then afterward, sounding like all-so-surprised, like “Sheesh! I can’t believe she did that and he did that and they did that and then they did that again and again and again.” 

3.) How have I not got COVID. 

4.) Trump.

5.) Genetics.

6.) Airplanes.

7.) Massive cruise ships that don’t sink.

8.) Why some people still love me.

9.) How 9/11 could actually happen.

10.) How a person can get depressed when they have it all, and then some.

11.) How Lucy never fails me.

12.) Why I’m still alive, when there are a million valid reasons why I should be dead instead.

13.) Trump, again.

 

… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEAy7eXb2lo

 

…I was just thinking how handy it would be to have a Creamatorium.

 

…I should probably stop thinking about 9/11 so much.

 

…“Do you know what time it is? You should be drinking coffee. You're a young guy. It's none of my business, but if you could see what I see, you wouldn't be doing this to yourself.” Leaving Las Vegas

 

…You see your children suffer, and the world just fucking collapses. It’s another kind of helplessness altogether.

 

…Last night someone gave me the most incredible compliments. About my new book, they said, “I didn’t just like it. I absolutely loved it. It’s one of the best books I everread.” And while I knew they were completely sincere, this other me inside of me didn’t believe it whatsoever. That other me has always been a persistent haunt.

 

…This person, the one from last night, also said, “After finishing your book, after all you’ve been through, I can’t believe you’ve come this far.” That was one thing we could agree on.  

 

…“I came here to drink myself to death.
“How long will it take you?
“I'd say, about three to four weeks.” Leaving Las Vegas

 

…The night is young, while nothing else is.

 

…I kind of like looking at my windows, very late at night, when they’re just stupid black plaques, nothing looking back but a shot of blurry onyx. It’s so dark out that there’s nothing to be afraid of, nothing to worry about.

 

…Seventeen Going Under is pretty much my youth autobiography, but I wasn’t a tenth that tough.

 

…I always forget how old I am, because in my head I’m 9 or 16 or 23, but then I look in the mirror, and she corrects me properly. It’s like a legitimate Bitch Slap.

 

...“Is drinking a way of killing yourself?
“Or, is killing myself a way of drinking?” Leaving Las Vegas

 

…I don’t know what’s happened. This year I’ll have my sixth book published. Years ago, if you would have told me I would have a single book released I’d have laughed. Now, I’m still extremely grateful, but I don’t know if I care as much as I should.

 

…Everyone has their own definition of trying, and I suppose that’s okay.

 

…I love optimism when it’s authentic. I hate it when it’s scripted.

 

…My brother who died first, he was no one I really knew. He was a junkie. Did some really horrible, horrible things. Once asked me to get him Mariner tickets two days before the game. Never picked them up. That wasn’t one of the horrible things. He died alone. It didn’t affect me that much at the time. I’m ashamed to say that now. But it all bothers me now.

 

…“Don't you like me, Ben?
“What you don't understand is—no, see, no. You can never, never ask me to stop drinking. Do you understand?
“I do. I really do.” Leaving Las Vegas

 

…My fear of heights is getting a lot worse. I wonder what that means.

 

 …“The distinct personalities of the songwriters come through really raw; they’re communicating with each other in heartbreaking, angry ways,” says Zoë Howe, author of the book Stevie Nicks: Visions, Dreams and Rumours. Adds Spanos: “You’re getting the great theatre of heartbreak from multiple sides.”

 

…Everybody loves differently, because everybody is different. That’s why people communicate, or don’t communicate, differently, and that’s also why relationships can sometimes jump the fence/ the shark/ the cliff, running for cover like rabbits that only know one thing, how to run.

 

…I still believe in miracles, and I always will.