—I WANNA SAY IT LIKE SIMON WOULD

 

 

                                                        Stupid

 

She said, Love is a good reason to be here. Even if it gets cold and cryptic and pitiful, bitter, even if our ribs stick out and our noses run and turn Smurf-blue and we’re simply two racks of bones clattering against one another on dusty sheets without sex stains.

And I said, Are you sure?

And she said, Are you really asking me that? Really?

And I said, I guess so. I’m not sure, I might be.

And she said, You’re really stupid, do you know that?

And I said, I know I am.

And she said, Sometimes I don’t like you very much, but I always love you.

And I said (…)

And she said, I do. I do love you, even with all your broken parts.

And again, I said (…)

And then she said, For God’s sake, you are so  s t u p i d.

And I said, I know. Of course, you’re right.

And she said, I have loved you all these years, despite the things you try to hide, and all those I know about, a plethora of things, a hefty jangle of faults and miscues, like those times you fell down, the morning you ran in the pitch-dark and almost jumped out in front of a semi on purpose, the pornography stashed in shoe boxes, the times you left me, the times you thought you wanted to but didn’t pull the trigger, the time you literally shit yourself and also the bed, the time you peed yourself at a stoplight in Nashville with urine gushing down your socks, the time you were too high to see or breathe or calibrate what I looked like, the time you wrecked your car and got cuffed while I watched, the time you did those other things that I wished you hadn’t done, all of those times you almost killed the man I love.

And I said, Oh my God, after all that, how can you?

And she said, You really are stupid.

And I said, I know. Of course, you’re right.

And she said, If you want me, come here and kiss me like you mean it, like forever’s swirling in your mouth and you’re giving it up for free, but only for me.