—YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF REASONS TO SMILE 

…Sometimes I don’t feel very comfortable playing myself, let alone playing someone else’s self.

 

…I honestly really admire extroverts.

…Whatever you’re thinking about right now, don’t do it. Just don’t.

--What’s the password?

--Narcan.

--Narcan?

--Yeah, are you deaf?

--That sounds a little unsettling.

 

…I’ve gotten used to it finally, how things mess with my head.

 

…I figure I’ll figure it out once I get there, if I get there.

 

…If you could give me some more time to explain it to you, it might all make sense. But I know you’re busy a lot of the time.

 

…One problem I have, among many, is I have too many pages. It’s like I’m a hoarder of prose and poetry and bullshit, all of those words backing up while still sitting there.

 

…I can’t imagine anything mattering more.

 

…What was I thinking there?

 

…Perfect is a word, like Jesus, for those who believe in it. 

 

…Everything I say sounds redundant.

 

…Maybe I just really want to talk to someone.

 

…“And just like that, one two three, Kirby gets out of a jam!”

 

…You should always avoid a disaster if you possibly can.

 

…Oh, yeah, that oven’s hot. It just beeped at me. It might even have had eyebrows.

 

…That’s why you should never look down.

 

…Who in the hell “loves” going to the doctor? Oh yeah, your best friend in the entire world.

 

…I’m just trying to keep the ball away from you. Isn’t that what they try to do in soccer, or football, or basketball, or any sport?

 

…I really do love Rocky, despite that sometimes he resembles an extra from The Omen.

 

…I get why the idea of crouching on your knees, and praying, guts-out, tears and such—seems stupid, or even cultish, to someone looking in from the outside—but what if they’re right and you’re wrong? What if there really is a God who loves you, after all? 

 

…“When you have no music, everything becomes a form of music.” Terrance Hayes, Lightheaded

 

…I can sometimes tend to get too sentimental with my friends. Just ask Steve K. 

 

…Alert: Theft reported less than 3.3 miles from your home

 

…Alert: Shooting reported less than 3.5 miles from your home

 

…The news just wants to tell you the world’s falling apart, which it is, but do they have to repeatedly rub it in our face, night after night?

 

…“Remaking is rarely the end of the journey—it often becomes the beginning of something new.” Jonathan Cardew

 

…I think if I was a dick, like in general, as a person, I’d really want someone to tell me I was. Like, I’d want to know.

 

…Unless you’re looking to get back surgery, you really can’t fall asleep in office chairs.

 

…Just so you know, your posture is perfect, and your will power is impeccable.

 

…“We don’t have Happy Hour around here because every hour is happy here.” 

 

…It’s almost impossible to read about these clowns, in this administration, and not throw up in your lap.

-You have a White Supremist leading “The Department of War” requiring testosterone tests for military personnel. (Really? WTF?)

-You have Kash Patel, head of the fucking FBI, asking for the names and phone numbers of NYT reporters who’ve published a story that’s derogatory to the current administration.

-You have Lee Zeldin, head of the EPA, a climate change/global warming denier, virtually begging states to pump oil and abandon electric cars, all while the world burns.

-You have Dr. Oz (seriously?) and an idiot somehow named Kennedy, saying almost all vaccines are bad. Even the one for Measles. 

-You have…

Just pick any fucking idiot. I’m serious.

 

…WTFF?

 

…Oh yeah, and 3.5 million Epstein files have been released, and we have a so-called “Department of Justice,” yet nothing’s been done about any of it. We’re talking about 1,300 children. Children.

 

…Oh yeah, that’s right, and also, Satan has been mentioned 38,000 times (NYT) in those files.

 

…Fuck that fucking guy.

…I might need to take a step back and calm down.

…I don’t really give a fuck. Except I do.

  

…Anyway, how about those Mariners? 

…I get it. It’s really just about what you see or feel in the moment.

 

…What’s your worst fear? 

I have eight of them, and bridges are farther down the list.

…I’m not bitching, I’m not, but what I don’t have any more, is a Karen to call when it feels like the right time to talk to your sister. 

…“Often the most exciting writing begins when we allow something broken, overlooked, or borrowed to become something entirely new.” Jonathan Cardew

…I wish I didn’t like additives so much.

…You can forget a lot of things, but you can’t forget those that changed the trajectory of your life.

…Well, we knew we had the good things, but those never seem to last. Oh, please just last.

 

--The cake is the whole thing.

--I don’t even know what the hell you’re talking about.

--Exactly.

 

…“Perhaps you’re experiencing stages of grief right now, and that’s clouding things.” 

 

...“The lower the self-esteem, the harder the slap.” It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

 

…My watch is a good mother who’s always looking out for me, even when I think she’s being a Bitch. It’s good to have one of those, if you’re that lucky.

 

…If every airport was Paine Field, no one would board. They’d just sit there, thinking they were at a ski lodge.

 

…I was hoping you’d see something I saw.

 

…The only thing I really know, through all this is--we have to be kind. Please be kind.

 

…This is a developing story, however.

 

…It’s not as simple as it seems. Not ever. Not even love.

 

…If something is off, even the coffee tastes wrong.

 

…What did you do to me? Did you staple something to my head?

 

…We can do whatever we want. Nothing else matters.

 

…“Even though you have broken my heart, I’d just like to say that in another lifetime, I would have loved to just do laundry and taxes with you.” Everything Everywhere All At Once

…If you just look around, there’s always someone who needs love.

…“When you want stuff to disappear, all you have to do is point.”

...When you find yourself nonplussed, just remember, stranger things than this have happened.

…I’ve got a lot more to say, but then, doesn’t everyone?

…Oh, good. You’re still here.

…Me, I’m heading downstairs where the ghosts are gathered.