—I’VE GOT A VERY STRANGE FEELING

 

…Hold it together, man. It’s something we’ve all got to learn, like a bullet in a magazine.

 

…I didn’t want to go either, but I did, and I was really glad.

 

…From The Good News Network this week:

Every November, the 1,200 denizens of Australia’s Christmas Island break out the rake and leaf blower and head out to their yards, driveways, and sidewalks.

It’s not dead oak and beech leaves on their minds, however, but another red-tinted carpet—100 million crimson-colored crabs.

Outnumbering their human neighbors 100,000 to 1, the Christmas Island red crab produces of the our planet’s most spectacular migrations: a 100 million-man march of epic proportions.

“Some people might think they’re a nuisance, but most of us think they’re a bit of a privilege to experience. They’re indiscriminate. So whatever they need to get over to get to the shore, they will go over it,” said Christmas Island National Park acting manager Alexia Jankowski, who told AP that despite being just 52 square miles, the island is estimated to contain 200 million of these crabs.

 

…The TV’s on, but nobody’s watching. How clever and wise.

 

…I know that’s just a story I created in my head to make myself feel less guilty, but so far it’s working.

 

…A lot of times it’s about survival.

 

…People, very well-meaning people whom I love, keep suggesting I get some therapy. And they’re kind and serious about it, and I actually get why they’re bringing it up. But I’ve tried it—therapy—and I never get anywhere. I always think back to one of my best friends, a staunch believer in therapy, who said, however, that “Finding the right therapist is a lot like finding true love. It’s almost impossible.”

 

...Spent all day wishing the day was over. 

 

…I want things I don’t need and I need things I shouldn’t want.

 

…I’m never at a loss for words as long as I can write them instead of speak them aloud.

 

…Just keep showing up—that’s what I’m trying to tell myself these days.

 

…“I came to believe that there is no good art without bad art, and there is no artist who only creates good art—we just only see the good art. “ Anna Hogeland

 

--Where do you start? Do you start with easiest part first or the hardest?

--Wherever you’d like. There is no one way to get started.

 

…I could tell you that I know what I’m doing, but that would just be another lie. 

 

…I can’t get enough of her, and I completely understand why she cancelled her tour when you lay it all out there with one single song. Like how are you going to do that for an entire two hours? Impossible, I think:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3hLiRSIKFo&list=RD_3hLiRSIKFo&start_radio=1

--Today

 

Today I’m flying low and I’m 

not saying a word. I’m letting all of the voodoos of ambition

sleep.

 

The world goes on as it must,

the bees in the garden rumbling a little,

the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten.

And so forth.

 

But I’m taking the day off.

Quiet as a feather.

I hardly move though really I’m traveling 

a terrific distance.

 

Stillness. One of the doors 

into the temple.

    --Mary Oliver 

 

…A lot of times I wish I wasn’t male, or white, heterosexual, American, but I am, so I have to own all that stuff.

 

…I wonder what Bud thinks of Daylight Savings time, if he even thinks about it at all.

 

…It’s getting pretty dicey, but I don’t see another way out unless you do.

 

…My head hurts, my back aches, Mom calls as my voice breaks, and she asks me how I’m doing, and I say, “I’m fine.”

 

…The world is so small till it ain’t.

 

…Whoa, that was a tough Tuesday, for sure. You should have seen my face after shaving. 

 

…“When we’re anxious, we’re not creative, and when we’re creative, we’re not anxious.” Grace F. Porter 

 

…”Things That Don’t Suck
        Salamanders. Rotary phones. Super woman capes. Hopscotch chalk. Unicycles. Hiccups while kissing. Pole Vaults. Gumball machines. Leprechauns. Music Boxes. Welcome Mats. Hand-me-down lockets. Train rides. Carnivals. Record players. Sewing kits. Barbershop chairs. Bubbles. Chestnuts. Barnacle hugs. Door frames. Melted crayons. Soldiers in the airport on their way home. Icicles. Time capsules. Hourglasses. Recess bells. Thrift store coffee mugs. Lost and found boxes. Go-Carts. Tambourines. Fire pits. Paper boats. Snap peas. Snowflakes. Bay windows. Porch swings. Dance routines. Macaroni necklaces. Flying ladybugs. High fives. Ferris wheels. Extra buttons. Crooked teeth. Dust drawings. Bearded women. Fabric stores. Turtle faces. Sleepovers. Mixed Tapes. Grandmothers. Freckles. Lily pads. Farmers’ tans. Windpipes. Accordions. Anyone willing to play the shakers in a band. The day I was so in love I mistook a nuclear power plant for a lighthouse. French kisses. The smell of a dog’s paw. Thumb wars. Letters in the mailbox. The things we never ordered but still arrived. Riding in the back of a pick-up truck beneath a holy New England sky. Banjo strings. Best friends. Tutus on boys. Tutus on girls. Hummingbirds. Whittle sticks. Hail collections. Rocking chairs. Thimbles. Love notes. Cigar boxes. Screen doors. Clawfoot tubs. Hopechests. Skateboard parks. Mismatched socks. Airplane sky-writing proposals. Baby giraffes. Beaver teeth. Porch lights. Tiny houses. Tire swings. Dandelion snow. Drive-in movie dates. Bathrooms without scales. Shitty poems. Chugging calming tea. Sex with the lights on. Sex with the lights off. Basketball hoops in dirt driveways in Iowa. Snort laughs. Sexy librarians. Vegan chocolate chip cookies. Boomboxes in the car when the stereo breaks. Slip N’ Slides. Butterflies that remember being caterpillars. Staying alive.”

                                                          ---Andrea Gibson

 

…Things that suck a LOT—this person:

                    Rep. Lauren Boebert of Colorado dressed as a Mexican woman when she was photographed Friday, Oct. 31, carrying a sign with the text: "Mexican Word of the Day: JUICY. TELL ME IF JUICY ICE COMING"

                   In a statement, a spokesperson for Boebert says, "It's a Halloween costume," and goes on to criticize Democrats over the government shutdown

                        "It is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen," said one Halloween party attendee, per ABC News

 

…Paranoia’s just a place to be numb.

 

…I don’t know if anyone else cries when they’re out on a walk in the rain with earbuds in hearing some random song, but I do. 

…Dear Llynn

We found 6 violent crimes reported in your area and 1 suicide five miles away.

 

…The world has seemed very off to me for a while now and it’s not comfortable whatsoever.  But Tuesday night was good—Sweep!—so there’s that.

 

…Ask me that same question tomorrow and I might have a different answer for you.

 

…I asked my phone, “Hey, Suri, tell me something happy,” and she replied, “Sorry, I don’t understand.” (I’m not making this up.)

 

…It’s hard to not root for yourself, but sometimes that’s the right call.

 

…Tom Brady recently cloned his dead dog. That’s fascinating to me. So even if the two dogs look the same, does the new one have the same personality as the old one? And if we can clone dogs and sheep, can’t we clone ourselves?

 

...I guess I can always watch sports to medicate my feeling.

 

…Feelings, Thoughts, Behaviors—can anything in any of these three areas and it affects the other two.

 

…“The most audacious thing I could possibly state in this day and age is that life is worth living. It’s worth being bashed against. It’s worth getting scarred by. It’s worth pouring yourself over every one of its hot coals." Jeff Buckley

 

…Jeff Buckley might have been the most handsome man who ever lived.

 

....You pulled the safety net. I need a drink. I need a valium. You pushed me this far, and I need to be numb to survive.

 

…Yeah, I know. I need a new song or two.

 

…Yes, I got your message. It was very clearly stated.

 

…There’s a lot to be said about tomato sandwiches, but I can’t quite find it yet.

 

…Oh boy, I’m a helpless fuck sometimes. You’d really only know that if you show up here on Fridays. Otherwise, I’m a pretty great actor.

 

…“Going places?” Nope. Just right here.

 

…Isn’t being needy just wanting to be seen and loved? 

 

--Yeah, that’s not going to work.

--I know, but maybe there’s a work-around.

--Work-around?

--Another way to get it done.

--Shake yourself, Jethro.

--Don’t you think that’s what I’m doing? And stop calling me Jethro.

 

…I know it doesn’t make sense, but most things don’t. 

 

…Like how did I get here, and how have M and I exchanging a poem a day since July 1^st?

 

…You can make an argument for anything.  

 

…It’s 2 in the afternoon and so dark out right now that it feels like sitting in a movie theatre right before the previews are going to start.

 

...This is a problem you can’t help me with, but thanks for the offer.

 

…If you’re scared, just think how scared I am.

 

…I know I always make it about me. It’s that ego thing. It’s not always about me. Most of the time, it never is. It’s about you.

 

…Who just forgets to eat? Oh, yeah.

 

…I may be predisposed, or it could just be all in my head, like everything else.

 

…You don’t ever want to lose a tire on INTERSTATE 10 when you’re not mechanically inclined whatsoever. That’s for sure.

 

…As much as I say the word Fuck, I say, Oh my gosh, more. 

 

…I keep punching that X and it keeps on giving.

 

…Here’s something I have to remind myself of—Just step away. You don’t have to comment on everything, even when everything they’re saying is wrong and absurd.

  

…When I was young, I used to think “that” was the most important thing. Then when I got older, I thought, No actually “that.” Now I realize it’s “this,” as it always was, all along. 

 

…How do you stay away from the sad music when it’s the best?

 

…People always tell me to write something happy. Don’t you think I would, if I could?

 

…Again, the word is   r e s t r a i n t.

 

…We can talk about it all you want, but if you think what you think and I think what I think, nothing’s going to change. I’m still going to know you’re wrong about him, like incredibly wrong.

 

…Despite everything, I still feel like one of the luckiest people who ever lived.

 

…It’s Friday, the rain is falling hard again, and it’s beautiful. I hope it’s beautiful where you are.