—PUT IT IN DRIVE, AGAIN

 

…I’m “teaching” a writing workshop next month for BENDING GENRES, one of the premier online literary journals, and I’m super excited to be doing so again. I’d be incredibly honored and thrilled if you showed up with me. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re a writer or not, and your pedigree certainly doesn’t matter to me whatsoever. I’ll give you everything I have. I can promise that. It'll be a fabulous weekend. Pinkie Swear…

 

https://bendinggenres.com/writing-groups/

 

…“I think honest love 

is less about 

how much you would

do 

for someone,

and more about 

how long you would wait, 

unable to do 

anything at all.”

--Tyler Knott Gregson

 

…Something you think you’d want to hear, but you really don’t ever want to, is—I’m worried about you. 

 

…I don’t know what you do when you don’t know what else to do, but I tend to slink away and write. Sometimes what I produce is really bad, but occasionally, it’s not. Eventually, I always feel better, somehow. It just feels good to get it out.

 

…I'm not joking, some days I don’t even know where to look, or what to think about.

 

…I was a big fan of Robert Redford, for a lot of reasons, and not just because he was handsome and famous, but because he genuinely loved art and film and championed so many people (like Quentin Tarantino) who would have, otherwise, been lost to obscurity. Here are my favorite quotes/wisdoms of R R’s:

 

Be careful of success, it has a dark side.

 

Let’s face it — if you’re a movie star, you’re not likely to be taken seriously. 

 

Anybody can put something up on the internet. It's harder and harder to find what the truth is.

 

Life is essentially sad. Happiness is sporadic. It comes in moments and that's it. Extract the blood from every moment.

 

I try to avoid giving advice. The only advice I will give is to pay attention. I don’t mean to the screen in your hand.

 

I'm just interested in moving forward. Legacy means looking back, and I tend to not do that.

 

Speak out for what you believe and what you feel. Or don't. You have to live with yourself.

 

…So, I'm taking his advice, and hate on me all you want. 

I get how important it is to hear the other side, to listen to opposing views, openly, objectively and without bias or malice. But it’s different now. It really is. What’s happening is abnormal and absurd beyond anything that’s ever occurred in our country.

 

…This is the kind of stuff I mean, some blatant and some undercover, like all the time, like removing almost all the language about global warming from the EPA web page. And how is this okay?

DOJ quietly removes study showing right wing attacks ‘outpace’ those by left

The Justice Department quietly removed from its website a study showing far-right extremists were responsible for the bulk of ideologically motivated deaths — a move that comes as the GOP seeks to back claims from President Trump that the “radical left” poses a greater danger than the right wing.

 

…And then, they take out Jimmy Kimmel, after they took out Stephen Colbert, even though this is what the Federal Communications states (so far) in very clear language:

 “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and

to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

 

…And then this, too, because there are so many foreigners (rapists, murderers, drug dealers and felons, all of them) still hanging around just waiting to be handcuffed and shipped out…

ICE is seeking hundreds of new office spaces nationwide as it prepares to hire more than 10,000 additional staffers

Immigration and Customs Enforcement is looking for 300 new locations to house lawyers and officers, according to federal officials familiar with the matter.

…Okay. Thanks for letting me vent. I’ll let it go.

  

…We now return to our normally scheduled programing… 

 

…FOR A STUDENT WHO USED A.I. 

TO WRITE A PAPER

 

Now I let it fall back 

in the grasses. 

I hear you. I know 

this life is hard now. 

I know your days are precious 

on this earth. 

But what are you trying 

to be free of? 

The living? The miraculous 

task of it? Love is for the ones who love the work. 

      --Joseph Fasano

 

…It’s strange how things are different when you decide to no longer care about them.

 

…Live longer. I guess.

 

…There aren’t a lot of gold stars being handed out these days, that’s for sure.

 

…Isn’t that what you wanted? I thought you said that was what you wanted.

 

...You can get used to sounds or tamp them out. You can shut the door or close the window. You can just go back to sleep. That can be how you wrap it up, but what did you miss? 

 

…God/Jesus, you don’t need to help me. You’ve done plenty for me, way more than I deserve. But please help someone else out, maybe someone in Gaza or Ukraine. They could really use you right now.

 

…One of the spookiest things I’ve ever heard was just last week when one of my very best friends said he thinks there is nothing left after you die. Like nothing. You’re just dead and gone. Dust. 

It was sunny out when I asked him that, if he believed in life after death, but it felt pretty dark out there in the parking lot.

 

--You seem wired a little tight.

--You think?

--Yeah, I do. I'm looking at you right now.

--Then maybe don’t look too close.

 

…I always knew the time would come when I would wonder, Why?

 

…It’s very hard to say, “I don’t really care” and truly mean it.

 

...“Are you actually serious right now, talking about choices?” –Someone  

 

…“I’m sending thoughts and prayers your way.” –Someone else

 

…After a while, you can get used to anything. But should you?

 

…Most people aren’t just hanging on, wondering what their friends are doing right now, but I might one of the few. 

 

…I don’t understand how people live alone, or live single their whole life. They must have something I’m very lacking in.

 

…It’s a choice, or am I cursed? It’s a toss-up.

 

…Do your best. I mean, what else can you do?

 

 …Most things are rarely a clear-cut version of either/or. The answer’s usually in the gray space where it’s pretty hard to sort things out.

 

…Those geese are flying. You know what that means, right?

 

…Sometimes you just throw your hands up, because what else are you supposed to do?

 

…Ever since I started here, in this space, I’ve always tried to be as authentic as possible, no matter how flawed that comes across. Friday’s have become Diary Day where I share my ugly and my stupid randomness. 

This was a hard week for me, and for tons of others, in many ways.

A friend of mine had a really tough one, worse than me, so I pulled on my hopeful Big Boy pants and sent her this text, trying to really believe what I was saying:

There’s still art and deer, puppies and children and sunrises, family if you have it, good friends you love and trust.

 

…They say, If you have your health, you have everything—and having had a few issues, I totally get what they mean by that. But if you don’t have hope, you have nothing.

 

…I’ll be better tomorrow. And so will you. We can talk about it then, if you have time. Or maybe next Friday.

 

…I’m not sure where this ended. Maybe that means it didn’t.