—I SAVED YOU THE PASSENGER SEAT

  

Now / Then

     I thought you’d be here by now, the moon long tucked behind two proud cedars, a doe nosing the grass, looking more lost than I am, the ghost of you spritzed in the air like honeysuckle that time you offered me your breast and nipple and I cried like a child in your lap repeating I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry. 

     I was wrong, but I thought it would be okay to pull out the old album, rewind the tape of us, kids then, not kids, then kids of our own, your hair so long and flouncy, a river of unruly curls, your bright smile perfect without chemo, the shadow of a deer behind you.