--LIFE MOSTLY GOES EASY ON ME

…I am watching ducks float on the surface of the lake, two of them splitting off from the other pair.

Across the water the houses are still snow-encrusted.  The sun shines down on the roofs in slanted fashion.  It’s quite pretty.

I can hear Wolf Blitzer warbling downstairs.  Breaking News.  There’s always, Breaking News.  Someone wore a vest bomb into a bazar and blew themselves up, killing scores of others.  Somebody took a rifle into a Midwestern college and shot unaware students carrying backpacks.

Breaking News is a moniker for death and heartbreak.

What a contrast between that and the gentle ripples on the lake, four small ducks bobbing mindlessly.

I suppose that’s life.  Someone somewhere is happy as can be while someone else is in misery.

Sometimes it’s best not to think too much.  Better to gauge the color of the sky.  Today it’s the color of an infant’s eyes, ice-blue, with sheer clouds here and there, like shredded hand towels, floating by.

Snow is melting out my left window, dripping, as if it is weeping.

I must sound awfully forlorn.  I’m not.  I don’t think so anyway.

If I write something today, I will dedicate it to you and then you will know that it is yours and yours alone.

People on Facebook amuse and confuse me.  I think we all clamor for attention, affection.  Or maybe I’m reading too much into it.

Oh oh.  Here’s a lone duck by itself.  She better find a friend fast.  The eagle who lives in a nest in a tree next to me is sure to snatch that bird if he spots it.

So back to Facebook.  Here are some things from last week that, for whatever reason, caught my eye:

 -AHAHAHAHA So me and my fellow Starbucks patrons have to endure like ten minutes of this douchbag bragging on the phone about his rockstar stocks, his awesome business deals, and how he's taking Sara to "the Continent" for Christmas. Then he gets to the front and he's forgotten his wallet - turns around and asks, "Hey, anyone want to pay it forward?" No one responds

 -It's funny. Now that I'm alone and full of pain no one is there. When I'm posing for my lover and filled with someone, all you fuckers are all too ready to "like" every photo I post. Hey, guess what? You can all go fuck yourselves. Post your status "pumpkin patch" bullshit updates. Oh yeah? You ran 5k today? I sucked down a bottle of jack and nursed a pack of cigarettes into firey purity. I am alive and you are not.

-To add to the conversation about idiot males harassing females on the street (and everywhere, really), I'd like to share this anecdote from my life. Two dudes outside a restaurant were watching me eat a banana in my car. One of them started making blow job motions, so I put the banana down, faced them fully, stuck my finger in my nose, wiggled it around, pulled it out, then offered it to them. They looked grossed out and avoided my gaze until they drove away.

-apparently there's a cocoa shortage, and we could be completely out of chocolate in 5 years. now i know how republicans felt when BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA came and stole all their guns away. thanks a lot, liberal fascists of america

-You know what sucks? Finding out your ex who hates you is moving into your complex. Yup that's fun. As if I wasn't stressed and anxious enough.

-if i was an eggroll i'd visit you but i'd bring lots of smaller eggrolls for you to snack on.

-apple fritters make delicious temporary pets.

-I don't care what states you jerks have visited.

-New words that the Oxford dictionary has apparently added this year: vape, budtender, bae, slacktivism, and amazeballs. I'm happy to report that I've never used any if these.

-I make morphine look fabulous!

-The only way anyone is going to get me closer to God is by fucking me like an animal.

-Seriously, you can't go wrong with a librarian.