—I’M A SIDE THAT NO ONE’S ROOTING FOR

 

 

…One of my problems is I put too much stock into what the people I care about say. I’m finding they often don’t mean the half of it, or even any of it at all.

 

…When I run to the window, I’m only making sure the world’s still there.

 

…And when I say I’ve lost it, well, that could mean anything.

 

…Maybe AI could invent an app that would allow you to cut-and-paste parts of your life.

 

…This may be mean but it made me laugh: Someone put up a photo of Marjorie Taylor Green that said: IF A YEAST INFECTION WAS A PERSON

 

…A pen is a strange thing if you think about it, the tip dispersing ink on paper merely by pressure.

 

…I’d bite my tongue if I had any tongue left to bite.

 

…Sometimes the emptiness is the biggest flirt I’ve ever met.

 

…The only time I can remember laughing during the pandemic was watching, “Arthur.”

 

…It takes more than a master chef to make a meal out of absence.

 

…Even other people’s prayers, after a while, are exhausting.

 

…I just learned category fraud was a thing.

 

…I also discovered you can’t copyright a word or a title.

 

…Is it wrong to want people to care as badly about the things you do?

 

--“You could write a happy story if you tried, right?”

--“Nope.”

 

…What I had in mind was spending the night with a stranger who loves me. 

 

…What do you do when the puzzle won’t piece?

 

…Maybe I’m just scared of how you’ll answer.

 

…Sometimes I get jealous of the trees.

 

…“I write when I am inspired, and I see to it that I am inspired at nine o’clock every morning.” Peter De Vries

 

…I’m not sure who looks good in a bucket hat. Maybe Gilligan?

 

…Sometimes it’s simply easier to pretend everything’s okay.

 

…A person who stays up reading the whole night is a person I’d like to get to know.

 

…Seeing an ad for dogs or puppies always makes me happy, then a bit sad afterward.

 

…Jeff Lynne, the genius not enough people know.

 

…You’re a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing great with you!

 

…I think we knew how good we had it. What do you think?

 

…“Cold hands, warm heart.” I don’t know about that.

 

…“There are no possible moves.”

 

…I got an email with the Subject line that read: YOU ARE GETTING SCREWED, and my first thought was, How does this spambot know me so well?

 

…“I didn’t want to be entertained by a book. I wanted to be provoked.” Joanna Rakoff, My Salinger Year

 

…SPIKE IN SHOOTINGS NEAR YOU:

We found 3 shootings near your neighborhood over the last 7 days. That’s 3.2 times more than average. 

 

…If you get points for restraint, wouldn’t I have a million by now?

 

…Maybe the notion of Free Will is just a hoax invented to make us feel better.

 

…But even today feels like yesterday.

 

…“They don’t like me when I’m down.” Mac Miller

 

…YOU APPEARED IN 32 SEARCHES THIS WEEK

 

…“He was afraid in the way most people are afraid when they get what they’ve always wanted.” Joanna Rakoff, My Salinger Year

 

…Is it possible to be so out of place that you disappear?

 

…Do you ever wonder if how you think of yourself is different than how others do?

 

…I think you’re doing better than I am, and I’m happy about that.

 

--Oh stay with me Hobson. You know I hate to be alone.

--Yes, bathing is a very lonely business.

--Except for fish.

--Pardon? Did you say “except for fish?”

--Yes, fish all bathe together. Though they do tend to eat each other. I often think fish must get awfully tired of sea food. What are your thoughts, Hobson?

 

…Sometimes I wonder if I’m a nitpicky bitch.

 

…40% of Americans haven’t read a single book in the last 12 months. They don’t know how much they’re missing out. 

 

…I sure hate hearing my own voice. Someone once told me that I talk inside my mouth when I’m nervous. I think they meant I mumble and sound like I’m sucking on limestone.

 

…Reading too much into things is a thing I wish I didn’t do.

 

...“You’re tired of telling yourself

     not to write about your mother”

--Todd Dillard, Survivor Parable

 

…Last week I said something out loud that I’ve never said before in my life, something I’ve never meant more: “I hate him so much.”

 

…Sometimes your greatest accomplishment is how you lift up those around you.

 

…Anymore “Breaking News” alerts feel like death threats.

 

…I watched a seven-piece band play Latin music to a crowd of frenzied dancers. The band isn’t famous and probably never will be, but they played with so much gusto you’d have thought they were auditioning for talent scouts. They looked so happy to just be doing the thing they loved. It was a good slap to the head for me when I wonder why I should even want to put another book out that only fifty people might read.

 

…I’d really like to meet Lisa Taddeo, but I’d be sort of scared to.

 

…Sometimes “Faking it ‘til you make it” is impossible.

 

…Can you remember too much? Probably. But it doesn’t matter anyway, because the important stuff—good or bad—stays affixed to your life like super glue.

 

…The quandary is how to stay informed while not wanting to kill yourself.

 

…Every day, without fail, the sun comes up. And every day, without fail, I get a song stuck in my head for the day's duration.

 

…I get that memories are unreliable witnesses, but sometimes that’s all you have to go on.

 

…“Aren’t we lucky?” An expression used during captivity by Rose Girone, the oldest Holocaust survivor at 113

 

…One of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me, after a very important gig, was, “You stuck your landing.”

 

…Writing a poem that you think is good first thing in the morning is a bit like finishing a marathon before breakfast. 

 

…Making a good thing last is another skill I seem to lack.

 

…It’s so quiet right now that the lake looks terrified.

 

…You shouldn’t bitch about getting older if you’re wasting days.

 

…The sun can’t always make things better, but it never stops trying.

 

…When you can’t sleep, what else can you do but write?

 

…“So a poem is an act of noticing. What does it see?” Padraig O Tuama

 

…When I’m all over the place, it means I don’t know where to go.

 

…I never really trust someone who asks me to.

 

…Dog lovers, cat lovers, animal lovers—I usually trust them even if I’ve never met them before. Even if they haven’t said a word.

 

…It’s good to be silly. I should be silly more often, for no reason.

 

…I wonder if Jimmy Fallon smiles or laughs at all when he’s home. Dude must be exhausted. I’m saying this as a big fan. An envious one.

 

…I haven’t seen the beaver in quite a while, but I know he’s there. The wait usually makes it doubly better.

 

…Is “pre-function” still a thing people say?

 

…Curt Cobain never wrote a happy song in his life, and look.

 

…Sometimes when you name something it changes the way you look and feel about it.

 

…I think I have a lot more friends now that I’ve never met, than friends I know in the flesh. And despite how it sounds, that’s not a bad thing.

 

…“Nobody’s perfect” is one of the truer things ever said.

 

…She doesn’t know it, but I call Alicia Keys “Mother Earth.” I love her. I bet she hasn’t been angry more than a dozen times in her life, if that. I’d love to meet her. As John would say, she’s a bright light. Among the very brightest, in my book.

 

…I hope you can see how hard I’m trying.

 

--God, Hobson, isn’t life wonderful?

--Yes it is, Arthur. Do your armpits.

--A hot bath is wonderful! Girls are wonderful!

--Yes, and imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be. Get dressed.