—WE DRANK A TOAST TO INNOCENCE, WE DRANK A TOAST TO NOW

 

…That’s my niece, Gracie, attempting to make a snow angel out of confetti. She’s a wonder and, yes, she’s also as darling as she looks.

…I hope your night was memorable and that you spent it with someone you love. I’m guessing you did.

…I’m letting New Year’s linger a tad and will start things anew on Monday. Until then, here are three of my favorite holiday stories from last year:  

Love is the Way My Friends Laugh

I spent the last night of Hanukkah knee-deep in potato peelings with my closest friends. None of them are Jewish, but they were all eager. We ate latkes, passed the Shamash around my dining room table so we could each light a candle on the menorah. Watching my friends take such care with a religion that is not their own evoked an unexpected tenderness. Love is the way my friends laughed as we stood around my kitchen island on my last Hanukkah at home before college, squeezing grated potatoes into patties and sliding them into oiled pans. 

— Rachel Lynch

 

Trusting the Edge

A family holiday card that year would have shown our faces being scratched out: father dead, mother in assisted living, one brother in a coma. I’d just broken up with a dishonest, possibly-cheating-on-me-boyfriend. My brother Gary took me ice-skating at the local rink. He was graceful and fluid; I tottered on wobbly ankles. He skated over with ibuprofen, a Walkman and headphones. Coltrane was playing “My Favorite Things.” “Trust the edge,” Gary said. Soon I was gliding along, no longer depressed or caring if I fell. I knew he would be there to help me up. 

— Kim Addonizio

 

Back in the Rhythm of Conversation

My 14-year-old, Vedant, dwells in a dungeon (i.e. basement) under my bedroom. Through the muffled cadence of his voice, I deduce if he’s in virtual school or playing an online game. Thrice a day, he comes up for air, asking, “What’s there to eat?” We used to talk a lot on our car rides, about life and feelings. Now we have nowhere to go. For the holidays, I make him my sous chef. Slicing a butternut squash, my knife slips. He takes my bleeding finger in his hand and blows a kiss. Food an excuse, we talk about feelings again. 

— Yogyata Singh Davé

—WHO’D YOU GET TO KISS LAST NIGHT?

 

…What a luxury, to complain about anything at all.

 

…You know what they say about assumptions.

 

…I haven’t heard anyone call me Kuntzie in a while, so that was nice to hear.

 

…I’m not sure how good it is for the neighbors to keep throwing the water toy for the dogs at this time of year. Doesn’t the lake have to be freezing?

 

…Time to celebrate—it’s “Dry Every--uary.”

 

…Last week during lunch with one of my best friends, we talked about things like happiness versus pleasure, mortality, friendship and loyalty. It was one of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had in years.

 

…How are your resolutions coming along? Care to share?

 

…A sincere and vulnerable note from your kid is the best present a guy could get.

 

…“It’s tough to tell someone that they’re being an asshole, and it’s tough to hear.” Elton John

 

…I’m not looking for a medal or anything, but I doubt there’s anyone else on the planet who begins their workout with Barry Manilow and ends it with Kendrick Lamar.

 

…When the acoustics are good, everything sounds better.

 

…No jolts, no surprises…

 

…I’m trying not to worry so much. I’m skimming the headlines and looking the other way.

 

…“It’s crazy. Belief takes you a long way.” Travis Hunter

 

… “I understand that inside me there is a greedy, gluttonous lazy hippie. I understand that free time is probably my enemy. That if I’m given too much free time to contemplate the mysteries of the universe, I’m afraid of that inner hippie emerging. There’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, watch cartoons and old movies. I could easily do that. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy. It goes back to heroin—if heroin, or delicious delicious food, is the Number One thing on the to-do list every day, there probably won’t be a Number Two thing on your Things To-Do list, you know.” Anthony Bourdain

 

…I always like that period of time just before one year ends and one year starts. It’s like you have this window (albeit a small one) to make some decisions about your life, what you want to add to it, subtract from it, what you want to clean up.

 

…“When one never goes anywhere, it’s hard for the sun to do any damage.” Meg Pokrass

 

…“The vacation gone wrong in Paris is almost always because people try to do too many things. Most of us are lucky to see Paris once in a lifetime. Please, make the most of it by doing as little as possible. Walk a little. Get lost a bit. Eat. Catch a breakfast buzz. Have a nap. Try and have sex if you can, just not with a mime. Eat again. Lounge around drinking coffee. Maybe read a book. Drink some wine. Eat. Repeat. See? It's easy.” Anthony Bourdain

 

…I didn’t believe it, but apparently there really are more possible chess moves than there are stars in the universe.

 

…Another tidbit I learned was “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears was originally supposed to be “Everybody Wants to Go to War.” 

 

…Here are some more meaningful things I learned:

THINGS TO ADD TO MAKE US HAPPIER 

Express gratitude 

Be more social 

Act happy 

Increase novelty 

Help others

THINGS TO SUBTRACT TO MAKE US HAPPIER 

Reduce unpleasant time use 

Reduce smartphone and social media use

 

…It’s a little astonishing all the things I’ve spent money on that I’ve barely used, if at all.

 

…At the company I worked for, early on, we were all to attend a series of motivational-type classes led by Lou Tice (on VHS). I remember a ton about those sessions. During one, he stared into the camera, then swept his arm around the room and said, “Look around you. Every single thing you’ll see in your home was at one time purchased. And that should scare you.” Yep.

 

…Is there a ninth marathon in my future? Nope.

 

…I wonder how many people got a puppy for Christmas.

 

…In the dark, the rain has a code all its own.

 

…“To sit alone or with a few friends, half-drunk under a full moon, you just understand how lucky you are; it’s a story you can’t tell. It’s a story you almost by definition, can’t share. I’ve learned in real time to look at those things and realize: I just had a really good moment.”

–Anthony Bourdain

 

…Showing versus Telling takes a lot more time and effort, but it should.

 

…It’s probably ridiculous to start lifting weights at this age, but at least I can impress myself.

 

…Of the 100 plus books I read in 2024, these were my favorites:

Three Women—Lisa Taddeo

Quotidian—Mary Wilkinson

Prophet Song—Paul Lynch

Small Things Like These—Claire Keegan

Hot Springs Drive—Lindsay Hunter

Prep—Curtis Sittenfeld

Bewilderment—Richard Powers

Inland—Tea Obreht

American Psycho—Brett Easton Ellis

The Big Swiss—Jen Beagin

Girlhood—Melissa Febos

The Girl’s Guide to Hunting and Fishing—Melissa Banks

Fun Home—Alison Bechdel 

 

…You’ve probably never heard anyone say this before, and it might be impossible, but one of my goals for next year is to read less.

 

…For me, there’s still nothing better than writing something I think is good.

 

…We need only look to the Bible, or those books left out of it, to know each of us sees our own skewed version of events.

 

…Sometime it’s a hard circle to square.

 

…No matter how annoyed you get, never flip a hacker shit or it might lead to unwanted stalking.

 

…My niece has had one hell of a year. It makes you doubt a lot of things, seeing a thirteen-year-old suffer so much. But she made it home for Christmas. Now she just has six months of quarantine and maybe the fates will finally leave her alone.

 

…I spent a chunk of yesterday sending notes out to writers whose work moved me. The responses I get always shock me.

 

…Looking the other way only works if there’s a window nearby.

 

…“Loneliness is a wobbly circle.” Brian Barker

 

…What a strange concept, wheeling a dead pope or president around for days and days, from city to city.

 

…It’s a good thing I deleted the post I was going to use. Even I got depressed.

 

…What does it matter when there are no words left?

 

…Sometimes it’s what a person doesn’t say that catches your attention most.

 

…It’s hard to take gloating, especially when the bad guys are doing it.

 

… “we must bring

our own light

to the

darkness.

nobody is going

to do it

for us.”

–Charles Bukowski, "We Must"

 

… "There are certain emotions in your body that not even your best friend can sympathize with, but you will find the right film or the right book, and it will understand you."  Bjork

 

…Who knew we’d find ourselves here, another year at our feet?