—IF JEEZY’S PAYING LEBRON, I’M PAYING DWYANE WADE

 

…Hey, at least you read this today. I hope it bumps you.

 

…I guess I’ve got a lot of issues that people are more worried about than me. Like the notion that I should, “See a professional soon.”

 

…I could use a Head’s Up. I mean, who couldn’t use a Head’s Up?

 

…Or else, perhaps, I could use some joy. Who doesn’t need more joy in their life?

 

…Illmatic could well be the best album ever. Just sayin.’

 

…Can anyone ever be too thin? That’s the real question, right?

 

…I’m just sharing because I can’t do therapy anymore.

 

…If you ever want to know how I’m doing, just look for me here, but don’t hold your breath too long, in case of gas leaks or black mold spores.

 

…Haters gonna hate… Ain’t that the God’s honest truth?

 

…Just being honest, for what it’s worth, I’ve got nothing going on.

 

…Some of the stuff I’ve written in the past makes me think I can’t write anything better, and that’s intimidating.

 

…When your 16-year-old nephew loves STYX, it’s not something you can just ignore.

 

…What would life be like without smart phones?

 

…Why you gotta be so mean?

 

…People that I assume are cool, though I’ve never met them in person: Barry Basden, Elvis, Taylor Swift, Ryan Reynolds, George Clooney, Common, God.

 

…I finally figured it out, but I’m still completely confused.

 

...Everybody needs a Bubba, even if they crush you.

 

…You have 30 women in your house and it’s not exactly like a coven, but it’s something close to that.

 

…Paula, the bushy, elderly dog several doors over, wanders into everyone’s yard. When the dude two houses to the right, throws that water toy into the lake, I feel so bad for her/Paula because she always tries to nab it, but then the younger, faster dogs get it first. But Paula, she keeps trying. God bless her.

 

…Sometimes I feel like the Uni-Bomber, out here all alone, looking for someone to blame.

 

…I really have no right whatsoever to bitch about anything, yet I still do.

 

…War is so fucking stupid. But if God created everything, then didn’t He also create war?

 

…Sometimes those ghosts feel like they’re literally stomping on my head. Like, right now.

 

…I hope you don’t have any ghosts. I hope your life is free and loose and gorgeous.

 

…I could watch these ducks forever, and I probably will.

 

…Take good care of your feet. It’s important.

 

…“If you’ve seen one train wreck, you’ve seen them all.” That’s so not true.

 

…When you stop yearning, you stop living, and nothing’s going to matter anymore.

 

…It’s good to hear joy, even if it’s muffled and has nothing whatsoever to do with you.

 

…“Ode to Billy Joe” is an old one, but when I watch Bobby sing it, snakes still run up and down my spine.

 

…If you think about it, paradise can be anything. You don’t have to have two tickets to find it.

 

…Jack Mormon, Back-slider… I haven’t really hit all my resolutions yet.

 

…“Who loves you pretty, baby? Who’s going to help you through the night?”

 

…I met another Gracie today and she was a doll.

 

…Is Putin the modern-age Hitler? I don’t know. I think I need to read his biography.

 

…At one point today, the sky was literally lemon-colored. I wish you could have seen it. 

 

…I was pulling in, and parking, at the store yesterday, and watched as this older woman could barely get out of her car. For a second, I got judgey, then I realized, I am also very slow to get up from the stupid kid car that I drive. 

What a hypocrite.

 

…What do you think it means when you almost never feel hunger?

 

…Who’s reading this? I really wanna know. 

 

…If you obsess over Schadenfreude, there’s not much else to know about you, other than you must have really got picked on as a kid.

 

…It’s pretty easy to know who cares about you, like, in their heart, cares about you. They show up when there's no light.

 

…What do you do with 30 chattering women, having a fabulous time, just below your office? You close the door, and wear earplugs if you have them. You pretend all that happiness is fiction.

 

…Shaky day 6. Non-shaky day 0. Nobody wins that way.

 

…I will say, at this stage, that I’ve become much more cognizant of those who are most important to me. I seek them out even if they’re not that interested. Even if they're confused as to why.

 

…I may have said this before, but being a good friend takes a lot of work, and most times it also takes a toll. 

 

…Who knew crows were so wise, and not obnoxious?

 

…Not to sound sexist, but in general, I think women are a lot happier, or at least they’re better at faking it.

 

…Fake it till you make it. 

 

…I write a lot of stuff that just dies, and that’s probably okay.

 

…I wish I could have had a conversation with Sylvia Plath. I’d probably be too dumbstruck to ask anything but I think it’d still be nice.

 

…What’s not okay is reading bad books, or watching bad films, or bad TV. Time is precious, right?

 

…Thank God for my watch. She treats me like a sloth, which she should do. Keeps me aligned. 

 

…If you only had 48 hours left to live, how would you do it?

 

…I’m going to be happier tomorrow, I promise. Thanks for giving me grace on this gloomy day. I’m grateful. 

 

…Seems like it’s time to shut the door and have a nap. I’ll beg off the chill and have cereal in the morning.

 

…But I’ve got to get my son back, so wish me luck as I go over the over-pass.

 

…A shower can feel like a lifetime, and sometimes it actually is.

 

…You must be okay with everything, because I haven’t heard a peep. 

 

 …I no longer want it all,

just some comfort

and some sex

and only a minor

love.

now I'm waiting again

and the years run thin.

I have my radio

and the kitchen walls

are yellow.

I keep dumping bottles

and listening 

for footsteps.

I hope that death contains

less than this."

  ~ Charles Bukowski

 

…Whoa, Sparky.

 

…I still miss John. I do. 

 

.…“Now you’re in New York. Concrete jungle where dreams are made of…”