—GIVE ME A SECOND, I NEED TO GET MY STORY STRAIGHT

 

 

…Somedays all I want to say is (…)

 

…I think most people just hope that someone else cares about your life almost as much as you do. And when you find that person, hold them close.

 

...I guess we’ll always be opposites now, going in different directions, hoping we never run into each other. But how juvenile is that?

 

…Someday, things are going to be different. I promise.

 

…We can’t all be as smart as the next guy, but we can certainly be kinder than him.

 

…Stevie Nicks seems awfully lonely today. That makes me kind of sad, if I’m being honest.

 

…Being shakey when you’re out to lunch, or at dinner, with friends, is tricky and not that fun at all.

 

…All you have to do is take a look. I mean, it’s not that hard.

 

…I wish people wouldn’t hate on Taylor so much. She’s really never done a single thing wrong, and who among us, can say that?

 

…Do I need to throw rocks?

 

…I need to be around other writers pretty soon. Otherwise, it’s all going to wear off, the luster and the vibe.

 

…The only vivid memory I have of my birth dad and mom together is them screaming in the middle of the night. I was close to five- years-old then, living in a trailer in Bismarck, ND. I still can’t reconcile the idea of my dad screaming. I mean, he was as docile as an antelope.

Back when I wrote rhyming poetry, I composed a poem about those nights called, “The Fight Between Three,” though I don’t remember the lines of the poem at all anymore, just the title. 

My 6^th grade teacher said that poem made her cry, which made me want to write more, and so I did.

 

…Worrying is no fun at all. It’s actually kind of insidious, like cancer that’s spread throughout your whole body, and isn’t anywhere near stopping.

 

…And Daddy doesn’t understand it. He always said she was good as gold.

 

…I often wonder if people wish they could do their life over, or differently. Maybe most of you didn’t make the same mistakes as me. Bravo. Brava.

 

…COVID or not, one of my very best friends, Jack, is getting two new grandbabies in less than a month. And he ALREADY has two. Am I jealous? Fuck, yeah. But he’s a really great Grandpa, as far as I can tell. Maybe he could do me a solid and drop one off here.

 

…Those regrets that float up to the surface, well, you have to either drown them while you can, or live with them, or else they’re constantly staring up at you from your lap, like a babe that hasn’t been fed in weeks. 

 

…It’s not even 9am, and yet the bolts have all come off of this rusty truck already. You’ll find them on the street somewhere, most likely near a gutter.

 

…We all view love through our own prism, so it’s no wonder that there are so many versions of it. But True Love, that’s pretty clear. 

 

…I wonder who I would be if I didn’t care about politics.

 

…Or art.

 

…If you’re not careful, a turret can feel precisely like a prison. 

 

…What I really mean to say is (…)

 

…Hey, what happened back there?

 

…Stevie Nicks must have a really sore throat today, what with all of her endless barking. I wish I knew her better. We could be friends, and I could use another friend, canine or not.

 

…It doesn’t take that much just to say something, to type a few vowels and consonants, say “Hi” or “I’m thinking of you,” and yet most times all you get, even from the ones you love the most, is (…)

 

…I’m not good at a lot of things, but I’m one hell of a hunger-striker. I mean, sign me up--I’m a regular-day Bobby Sands most months.

 

…North Dakota is a hard place to visit, and an even more difficult to live in, if you’re Blue.

 

…Maybe my diary should be an automatic shredder instead. Like Banksy at the auction. 

 

…Who can talk that much on the phone, like for hours on end, and not want to jump off a high place? 

 

…These ducks on the lake, they frolic and dunk underwater. It’s like having a rambunctious fish tank just outside your window. Free entertainment. Ask, but Don’t tell.

 

…I was a (Teddy) Kennedy delegate in 1980 at The Washington State Convention. Though it was a tremendous experience, I’m kind of embarrassed about that now. I even have a button that says, “I’M READY FOR TEDDY.” How subversive.

 

…It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there.

 

…Take a minute for yourself.

 

…It’s hard to explain to someone how you can write every day, then send your stuff absolutely nowhere, only to let it hibernate and wither, like dry twigs, kindling or detritus.

 

…I suppose that’s where the idea of therapy should enter in.

 

…I used to think Lincoln, or Raymond Carver, were the famous dead people I’d most like to have lunch with, but now it’s changed to Mary. I mean, who wouldn’t love to have lunch with Mary? It’d be a laugh-fest. Plus, she’s hot as hell, dead or alive.

 

…“I wouldn’t marry me either.”

 

…I hate when I look at the time and it says 9:11. As superstitious as I am, I always figure that’s just plain bad luck, and something terrible is bound to happen.

 

…A guy who carries a straw around in his coat pocket is either an addict or a derelict.

 

…But at this stage, I’m just trying to be pragmatic, and prepared.

 

…“They love you so much when the clock is ticking.”

 

…Don’t lie and tell me you don’t want it.

 

…This is the real jewel, tarnished and all—a life in crumples.

 

…I see Pete several times a day, but Bud, where did you go?

 

…Social media is often a tapeworm that eats you from the inside out. I feel like a fraud every time I’m on it, even if I don’t punch a single key.

 

…I want a new drug. One that won’t make me sick. One that won’t make me crash my car, or make me feel three feet thick.

 

…Why should anyone care about The Royals? Not that they’re bad people, but, I’m just asking, “Why care?”

 

…I’ve been Blue all my life. And by that, I mean, a Democrat.

 

…Who would have pictured me here, all those years ago? Not me, that’s for sure.

 

…Whatever you do, don’t hate me. I couldn’t stand it.

 

…If I wrote everything down that interests me, I’d never stop writing. 

 

…So many stanzas, so many lines.

 

…Time for a re-set. After all, it’s Wednesday, step-sister of Friday. My first and least favorites, though what does it matter?

 

…When was the first time someone said, “I love you,” to you, and where were you? What did it mean? Does it still mean something?

 

…Talk about a tome… Can’t you just shut the Fuc% up for once?

 

...If you want to hear/see the most romantic song of all time, well, here it is:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPT3nwORbQk

 

,,,And your head is on my stomach, and we’re trying so hard not to fall asleep.

 

….No matter how old, or young you are, you need good people around you. You need a Bllllll!!!, if you’re lucky enough to get one.

 

…Trust me on that.

 

…Tie me to a tiny wooden raft…

 

…Lastly, please take care of your feet. You need them, and I need you.