—WHY DON’T YOU COME ON OVER, VALERIE? 

 

 

…The question is—What happens when you get everything you ever wanted?

 

…You make a house big enough, people are going to hate you, even without ever meeting you. That’s just the way it is.

 

…I understand not getting vaccinated even less than I understand murder, and I couldn’t ever murder anyone, even if you held a gun to my head and it was between me or the other person.

 

…“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." Robin Williams

 

…Why do I always cry at every Rent song? I mean, like every single one of them. Les Misérables, too.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAfMZ_vWJDo

 

…Yesterday I ordered some (more) books, and after the confirmation came through, Amazon asked me to “follow” one of the authors. The thing is he’s dead, and has been for a few years. That just seemed really wrong.

 

…“For me, it’s always this sense of unease, this feeling like I haven’t suffered enough.” Anthony Bourdain

 

…In a lot of ways, I can identify closely with AB because he reminds me of myself. All those contradictions. All that turmoil under the covers.

I’m going to see his doc on Tuesday with my 14-year-old nephew. So, wish me luck. 

 

…I read his (AB’s) “Last Interview” book yesterday in two hours (it’s a very slim volume, though I did stop on almost every page and highlight something.) 

What an amazing human being he was. On the one hand, he’d be cocky, and on the other hand he’d degrade himself. He’d posture about his success, then “admit” it was all mostly luck. He was an expert listener, but he loved to talk and share. He was an introvert, but if he loved a piece of art—music, book, film, painting—he’d do everything possible to share it with anyone who would listen to him go on and on about it. He’d say he had so much more life he wanted to experience, but then he went and ended his.

So, yeah, wish me luck. 

Pray for me. 

Hard.

 

…“This is really embarrassing to say, but the thing that thrills me the most is being loved, and appreciating the people that are giving that to me.” Iggy Pop 

 

…Being too much in your head is good for a lot of people, but I’m not one of those.

 

…Last night I dreamt a ghost was taunting me, over my shoulder, as I walked atop a miles-long plateau. 

The ghost kept sneering and saying, “You’re going to be fired in two months, so quit now.”

That went on and on for a few years in my sleep.

When I woke up, rattled, I thought—fired from what?

But I was still shook up.

 

…Ever have a very good friend and you wondered why? Yesterday I had lunch with one of my very best friends. Though we have almost nothing in common, we talked for nearly two hours straight.  Afterward, I felt lighter and very grateful that he was in my life. On the drive back, thinking over our conversations, I realized we don’t share a lot of material interests, but everything below the surface, where it matters, we’re nearly twins. 

 

…”It’s a tragedy of belligerent self-destruction.” The Toronto Star, regarding unvaccinated Americans

 

…The vaccine debate is something I can’t even enter into. My mind is pretty closed when it comes to that.

 

...“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along while trying to put all kinds of their own things in it.” Terry Prachett

 

…“When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives.” Lauren Eden

 

…“I wish I wrote the way I thought; obsessively, incessantly, with maddening hunger. I’d write to the point of suffocation. I’d write myself into nervous breakdowns, manuscripts spirally out like tentacles into abysmal nothing. And I’d write about you a lot more than I should.” Benedict Smith

 

…--“Why do you like thunderstorms so much?”

…--“Because it shows that even nature needs to scream sometimes.”

 

…I can only remember screaming five times in my life. The last of those occurred a month ago. I screamed (for five minutes or more) over the phone at one of my very best friends.

After we hung up, I felt terrible.

But then, later, I realized my screaming may have been the very thing that saved a life.

 

…“All my soul within me burning…” Edgar Allan Poe

 

…“My favorite sex toy? That mind of yours.” Vagabond

 

…There’s a certain kind of girl

That you care about so much

I don’t care what you guys do to me

But her, don’t touch. 

 

   —The Modern Lovers, Someone I Care About

 

…I saw some graffiti the other day that said, “STAY CLOSE TO PEOPLE WHO FEEL LIKE SUNSHINE,” and thought, that’s so true. 

 

…Subtly, without even knowing exactly when, I lost my sense of smell a couple of years ago. It was pre-COVID, and unrelated.

There’s very little research about loss of smell, but the best studies suggest sniffing potent oils for fifteen seconds, in each nostril, several times a day.

So, I’ve been doing that. Every once in a while, I’ll actually smell the peppermint or lavender. Sometimes—with a wide-mouthed glass of cabernet nearly stuffed in my nose—I’ll get a tiny whiff.

But mostly, I get nothing.

It’s not so much frustrating, as it is sad. I miss the smell of citrus and lilacs, and even mown grass or gasoline.

It makes eating less enjoyable. Flavors don’t zing the way they should.

It’s easy to take things for granted. As humans, we just expect everything to always be the same, to enjoy the same benefits/gifts we’ve had since birth.

It’s only when we lose them that we realize how lucky we were, how precious those things were.

So, for a favor to me, go outside and smell the flowers and grass. Smell the rain, if you have it. Just smell something.