—THE MORE THAT YOU SAY, THE LESS I KNOW

 

“Grief isn’t linear at all like they tell you with the five stages. That’s a lie. Actually, all five come at you all at once and kick your ass over and over and over.  It’s really horrible.” Bailey K

 

…Lately when family members or close friends have struggled, I’ve been unable to find the right words to comfort them. Then a few days later, the perfect words will drop in my lap, but it’ll be too late.

 

…Wednesday was a really wonderful day for me. I know it was the opposite experience for many people, but I felt proud and hopeful for the first time in a long while.

 

“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”

J.R.R. Tolkien

 

…Coulda, shoulda, woulda. Oops.

 

…It’s hard to go an entire day without criticizing others, or yourself. Just try keeping track some time.  

 

…Losing people close to you is never easy, but sometimes it’s the right thing.

 

“Would you really like to remember all of the things you lost?”—Yoko Ogawa, The Memory Police

 

…When I was a young boy, I was a fan of a horror soap opera called “Dark Shadows,” and for a stretch, I believed vampires were real. I already knew monsters were, because some lived in my house.

 

…I honestly can’t really remember my first kiss. I’m not sure what that says about me.

 

…It’s hard to see kids being poked fun of in malicious ways if you’ve been poked fun of in the same way. Don’t we all feel that? Don’t we all feel like we wished we hadn’t been ridiculed? Don’t we wish the ridicule of others would stop? Then why does it persist?

 

“We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine."- Eduardo Galiano 

 

"You should be kissed, and by someone who knows how.” Kelly Colyer-Christian

 

…People say, “If you have your health, you have everything.” But I think health should be switched out for hope. It seems to me that being hopeless is about as low as it gets.

 

…I said something out loud that I thought I only thought, and now I wish I hadn’t.

 

…It’s important to be on the alert for the decisive moment, but the trick is knowing what’s decisive and what to do about it.

 

…This is pretty terrific:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5IHmwn6aGE

 

“Life isn’t a competition, but it feels good to win.” Phoebe Bridgers

 

…I think I need to be silly more often. I was trying to remember the last time I was silly, for no reason whatsoever. It was maybe a couple of weeks ago. I did this half-dance half-squirmy thing in front of the TV while my daughter was watching. She called me an idiot, but cracked up. It feels good to make someone else laugh. I think I’m going to try to be a lot sillier this year.

 

…It’s getting to the point where it’s not weird seeing people wearing masks. I mean, for a few minutes it doesn’t even register, but then it does, and it’s like—this is so fucking weird, and we have been through a lot, and we still have a ways to go but we’re almost there, I think.

 

…Have I told you I hate my toes? Yes? Well, they’re even more hideous these days. The only way they could look better is if I cut them off and burned them.

 

“Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration's shove or society's kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager." ~ Susan Sontag

 

…When you get to an age, your body knows things before your brain does. And your heart, well?

 

…They say when you’re lonely you start to lose words.

 

“I don’t trust people who haven’t been to hell and back at least twice: once by chance, the other by choice.” Marianne Faithfull

 

…I’m off to see my very best friend this weekend. It’s been three months since I’ve seen him, which is three months way too long. Here’s wishing you a great weekend. I hope you have as much fun as I’m going to have.